Mommy of a 2-year-old support groups

yytsmommy

Tue, Dec 28 2010, 5:37 pm

I love this thread! Smile

my 2 yr old is truly terrific! but there are times I feel like I am losing my mind! like when I am holding my 5 month old and I tell him to get in the stroller (is a bjcmd- low down) and he says no and runs the other way. so what am I supposed to do? cant pick him up and grab him and even if I put down my baby, is that what I should do? no threat works, b/c what can I possibly follow through with? same thing with going up the stairs, leaving the park, etc. help!!! what do you all do? I feel like just pulling my hair out sometimes! Banging head

AlwaysGrateful

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 9:52 am

Time to revive this thread! I need it Smile

yyts - You put your baby down, even if s/he screams, pick up your toddler, and put him in the stroller. That's all that I've found works. It's not fun, and I feel horrible for my baby, but...The only other thing that sometimes works is if I can hold his hand and sort of lead him to the stroller, he'll sometimes resign himself and climb in.

Of course, then there's the "Anyone who is in the stroller by the time I count to ten gets a story!"

I don't know if I'd say that once he's refused to get in, but if you know he probably won't want to, it's less of a bribe and more of a positive consequence, at least imho...

Anyone else have a two year old who just likes to walk around dumping boxes of toys without playing with them? We've been working so hard on the choice of either playing with them or putting them back in the box, but he resists so much!

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Jan 05 2011, 10:03 am

About chinuch....

These are my thoughts.

Most of the misbehaviors 2 year olds due they'll outgrow. It's not worth it to put so much energy (unless you have no other kids?) into figuring out how to stop behavior that they'll stop anyway. Things that they may continue and are wrong -- e.g. hitting -- should be approached as any chinuch issue. And the disciplining techniques you do aren't specific to toddlers, though you may tone it down to their level.

So, hitting, for example.

My 2 year old will hit. I tell her "We're not allowed to hit". She continues. I hold her hand so that she cannot hit and tell her once more, "We may not hit." She squirms and tries to continue, I sit her down or pick her up and move her to another room. She cries. She stops crying, I give her a hug, and she's stopped the misbehavior for the time being. I do not believe in repeating something 3 times. It becomes a game...so I do it this way and the message comes across.

For a 5 year old, I'd jump in quicker because he understands more. Hits. "You are not allowed to hit". Continues. Hold his hand to prevent him and say, "If you continue hitting, you will need to go into your room to calm down." I sometimes bring in 1-2-3 and count. If he is still hitting, it's to his room for 5 minutes to calm down.

It works if you are firm, patient, loving, consistent. Not overnight, but over time.

There is very little difference in the way I discipline, except by age level. My goals and methods are pretty similar. My tolerance is also based on age level.
I'm not going to tell my 2 year old if she doesn't clean up her mess, she can't wait in the hall for Abba to come home (normal evening routine), but I'll tell my 4 year old that. Even though my daughter does know how to clean up and is pretty good for her age at cleaning up markers, she doesn't understand the natural progression of that (we haven't finished one activity by cleaning, so we're not moving on to the next one). She can leave her markers on the floor. She usually isn't done coloring, and she'll clean them up later.

I think a lot of this is common sense and regular chinuch mixed together. I honestly don't see the need to focus davka on the toddler stage, but that's just me.