Need help training!

busymother1

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 7:00 pm

I am training my 2 1/2 daughter, its now day 5 and I am not getting anywhere. Day she made once on the potty but also 3 accidents. Day 2 a little better no accident b'h but twice on the potty. Day 3 twice on potty and 2 accidents. Day 4 she woke up dry and made twice in the potty and one accident. and today she was holding it back a whole day even at nap time but did make one accident. The last 2 days when she did make in the potty it was only number 2. I think she is holding it in a long as she can and then she either makes an accident or at night in her pamper. Please give me some tips.

MommytoB

Thu, Jan 13 2011, 9:58 pm

A lot of people will tell you to be consistent and keep going, no more diapers, push lots of fluids so she has to go.

However, I disagree. I am a firm believer that when a child is biologically & mentally ready, training will be super quick -- a matter of a couple of days. My kids trained after their third birthday and had 2 - 3 accidents over a space of months. I also do not push traing of bedtime/naptime until they wake up in a dry diaper or pullup for a week in a row.

a.r.

Sat, Jan 22 2011, 9:25 pm

I have trained many children, B"H, and let me tell you, you are wasting your time if your child cannot tell you that she has to go. She must also be feeling mad at herself as it is not a nice feeling to be wet, dirty and constantly changed, especially as she must pick up on your frustration and maybe even disappointment, as children are very attuned to our feelings, even if you are careful not to make her feel bad. in order to be ready for training, the child must

A. Be able to tell when she has to go and articulate it
B. Want to go to the bathroom- this is not s/thing that can be forced
C. Be physically able to sit on the toilet/potty and make

If any or all of these things are present, and in your post you have stated that she does not tell when she has to go, then she is not ready and forcing her can be damaging to both her self esteem/ body image/ relationship with you, and you will also get nowhere. She will be ready when she is BIOLOGICALLY ready and that can be anywhere from 1months of age, to 4 years old, and sometimes later, for nite training. Please be patient with her and don't feel pressure from peers, school, etc. as nothing will help short of parking her on the toilet all day and not letting her get up. Which, by the way, would not be called trained anyway as trained means that the child knows when and how to make, and not making just b/c she happens to be sitting on a toilet.

I am sorry if I come on a bit strongly, but aside from my own children I am also a preschool teacher and cannot tell you enough how many mothers make themselves- and their kids- crazy by trying to get them to do this before they are ready. I mean come on, would you ask your child at four years old to go grocery shopping for you b/c you think he is ready? This is an extreme example, but you get my drift. Lots of Luck!

amother

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 1:50 pm

a.r.

what do I do when my child has been toilet trained and got the idea but for some reason now will start to do #2 in her underwear catch herself and then wait till I realize or her teacher realizes and then finishes in the toilet. She is definitely ready and knows exactly what I want from her as she did it for a short while and then stopped.

there is no pain, no fear of toilets or actually making in the toilet its more like a connection that when I feel x I need to get to toilet asap thats missing how do I reignite that in her?

anon because I've discussed it with a few people irl who might be on here

a.r.

Sun, Jan 23 2011, 4:02 pm

How long is a short while? Also, you may have the brightest daughter in the world but if she is not telling you that she has to go then it means she is not ready, not that she can't be articulate. It is alot of pressure on a child, what we are asking them to do, and sometimes they can handle it for a bit, and then stop. If she is making in her underwear and catching herself that is a good step but maybe she just needs more time at home to be comfortable enough to catch it before it happens. There are all kinds of different motivations one can use, but the flip side is that they pick up on our frustration when they fail and that is not good for them.