Not being frugal to make your life easier

CherryBerry

Mon, Mar 14 2011, 1:32 pm

What do you think of the idea of putting your money to work for you?
When is it ok to say, ok I'll pay $18 for parking b/c I'm tired and late, and dont have time to look for free parking on the street?
Or I'll buy costumes this year instead of making my own, b/c I dont have the time to do it?
or I'll buy new undershirts for baby even though I know I have some from the previous kid, I just cant bear to look through 10 buckets of clothing to find them since I dont know which one has them?
When money is not tight, and you have some extra at the end of the month, is it reasonable to spend money that isnt necessary in order to live easier?

what about buying new dresses for pesach even though your dd's have enough shabbos clothing?
when you've lived your whole life being frugal, its not easy to drop the mindset.

when is it acceptable and when is it just being lazy?

shatzileh

Mon, Mar 14 2011, 1:37 pm

I think as long as you have the money to spare - go for it!

Personally, while I think that being frugal is great, and often necessary, it sometimes makes people forget that money is a MEANS, not an ENDS. It's there for it to be spent - $10 as a bill (or an account balance) is worth nothing, but you can translate that into time by hiring a cleaning lady for an hour... or something else.

Yes, saving is important because sometimes you need money later to pay for other things, but let's all remember that the numbers are worth nothing if the only thing they're worth is the numbers.

Mrs.K

Mon, Mar 14 2011, 1:47 pm

I think we all need to know our own limits, and our own personal fine line between being wasteful, and making our lives easier. I know that I work hard for my money, but I also know what will make me happy. A hypothetical example, if my daughter has several shabbos dresses that were hand me downs from cousins, but I know it'll upset me every shabbos that she doesn't have something new, if I can afford it anyway it's worth it for me and my happiness, in my opinion. Shabbos after shabbos of having something bothering me isn't worth it to me, as long as I can afford it anyway.

There's obviously the matter of knowing what we can afford in regards to what makes our life easier. Sure, a full time nanny would make my life easier but it isn't in the cards for me right now. Going into debt for something that will make my life easier is not an option for me. EVER. There's just no such thing.

Yesterday, I went to a store to do my purim shopping. When I got to the store, I see that they had set up a separate purim store up a hill and down a flight of steps. So I shlep the baby over there and of course the aisles were too narrow for a stroller. Long story short, after an hour of shopping, the store wouldn't take my debit card. At this point, I'm lugging several 20 lb. shopping bags and a baby who was angelic for the first hour but getting extremely fussy at this point. An angry line has already formed behind me. I call the bank who assures me that the card is fine and it's the stores issue. The store owner said there's nothing he can do and I need to find an ATM. Now the dilemma. There was a bank ATM about a 12 minute walk each way that would not charge me to withdraw money, or there was a cash machine next door to the store that would charge me 10 shekel for the withdrawal. Well at this point we're closing in on 2 hours and you can bet your fanny that I paid the 10 shekel fee and got the heck out of there.

Before I 'splurge' I honestly ask myself, 'Is this something I need right now? Will it make me happier/saner? If I don't do/buy it, will I feel upset/deprived?' When I'm finished answering those questions I know what to do.

Last edited by Mrs.K on Mon, Mar 14 2011, 1:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

Chayalle

Mon, Mar 14 2011, 1:50 pm

There's a difference between being frugal and being stingy.

I think it IS reasonable to spend money in a way that makes life easier, of course to a point. Also I do a bit of cost benefit analysis....llike, since I work full time there are gonna be things I spend money on because there are only 24 hours in a day. So it would be great if I could have time to grow cucumbers in my garden, but I buy mine in the grocery store because my job is computer programming, not gardening.

By the same token, if a production problem kept me late and work was particularly stressful, the kids are gonna be thrilled because...pizza's on the menu. Yes I try to have meals in the freezer that I can pull out but once in a while I'm needing that break. I also may need other "extras" that allow me to work, be they cleaning help here and there, or paying the babysitter extra, or whatever.

For someone who is a SAHM, she may need to spend extra because her DH is not around to help out. My sister, for example, needs extra help with her little ones because her DH works very long hours and tells her to spend more on the help when he can't be around to fill in. He does not want to come home to a stressed out wife.

Different strokes for different folks. Everyone has to do what works for them.

suzyq

Mon, Mar 14 2011, 2:04 pm

There's a line between being frivolous and spending money to make your life easier. If you are able to pay all your bills, and put money away in savings and for retirement and you're giving tzedakah, and you still have some extra to pay for new clothing that you don't necessarily NEED, but it's going to be Yom Tov and it would make you feel good, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that. If you have to rely on charity every month to pay your rent and you have major credit card debt, then you probably don't need to splurge every Thursday night on eating out just because it makes your life a little easier not to have to cook dinner.

But each person have to find that line for themselves, and decide what is worth splurging on, and what is fair to splurge on considering their own situation.

alpidarkomama

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 2:06 am

If it's in our budget, it's in our budget. If it's not in our budget, it just isn't. The only way I give myself "extras" is if, for example, I underspent groceries by $20 that month. Then I might spend $20 on something more frivolous, but rarely a service that is frivolous (to me), but rather something tangible. Right now, we're rebuilding our emergency fund after spending it on a new transmission, so for now that $20 would go into the emergency fund until it's once again fully funded. B"H it was there for us when we needed it!!

grace413

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 2:36 am

The whole purpose of money is to make life easier. As in life is easier with food, clothing and shelter than without. Obviously we have to consider that I"YH we will be around for a while and must think about the future.

I have found that throwing money at some problems is really helpful. Too bad I can't afford to do that as much as I'd like.

Finances are very personal and everybody has different priorities. Some people are risk-takers and some people need more security.

My car is a money-sucking black hole but it so improves my quality of life that I'd give up just about any other extra to keep it. Most of my clothes are 10 years old and that's just fine with me.

amother

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 2:46 am

I love letting go and spending on those little extras when I can. I grew up in a painfully frugal home, and never had any money for anything extra, only the absolute essentials. It took me a LONG time to learn to treat myself sometimes (and I'm not even talking about going out and buying an expensive pair of shoes. I'm talking about the little things, like hopping in a cab when I can't face walking with heavy packages or asking dh to bring home a simple takeaway for dinner so that I don't have to cook that day). These little treats don't cost a lot, but they make a MAJOR difference to me.

It's a lot cheaper than therapy!

DrMom

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 3:53 am

I don't always take the most frugal route.

I ask myself: What's the ROI (return on investment)?

I place a high value on my time and effort, so a frugal measure that requires an investment of my time and/or effort had better be worth it.

Example: I get up Friday morning anmd realize we are low on apples. I can pick up apples at the makolet next to my son's school bus stop (I have to go there anyway), or I can go to the shuk, which sells cheaper produce but is 20 minutes away. If I buy the apples there, I'll save 10 shekels. It will take me 20 minutes to shlep across town on foot (while pushing a baby stroller) to save those 10 shekels. Let's say it's summer and it's 95 degrees in the shade. Worth it? No bleepin' way.

ora_43

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 4:20 am

As previous posters said, the point of money is to eventually spend it, not just to have it.

Personally for me the point of being frugal is -
1. getting good return on investment
2. Avoiding waste
3. Directing my money where I want it to go
4. Not sacrificing tomorrow for today

So with any expense, it can be judged by those criteria. examples:

1. Buying Purim costumes - how much money could I save making them myself, and how long would it take? In my case, I'd save about 30 shekels, but it would take me forever and a day since I'm bad with costumes, so buying them gives me a good return for my money.

2. Avoiding waste. My baby has a couple of nice dresses and could care less about clothing, so I wouldn't buy her a new dress for Pesach no matter how easily I could afford it, because what's the point?

3. If I buy new clothes for my older kids, will I have enough money for other things we want to buy? Which is more important/more enjoyable, new clothes or those other things?

4. If I buy new clothes for the kids now instead of looking for old clothes/ making do with what we have, will we have to go without necessary new clothes later, once we have more expenses?

So basically I spend money if a. I get something in return, b. what I get isn't "overpriced," ie it won't take me two hours at work to pay for the thing that just saved me 5 minutes, c. I don't prefer to spend that money elsewhere and d. spending now won't mean cutting back significantly next year.

(And it's important not to completely sacrifice today for tomorrow, either.)

Marion

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 7:57 am

Personal satisfaction also weighs in for me. In Ora's example of Purim costumes...I *could* have gone out and bought clown costumes for my two oldest DSs. (No idea how much those things cost, but let's say 125NIS each, so 250NIS.) The fabric and other supplies probably cost around 175 (I spent 165, but I had some of the smaller items around...for example, I finished off a few spools of partly used thread, I had most of the elastic and bias tape I needed, etc.). And sewing time was about 2 hours (actual sewing time) per costume, so 4 hours. Plus cleaning the pattern, and pinning & cutting the fabric. I didn't pin & cut fabric, for the most part. Someone else did me a favour and came while I was at work to do that, as I had a panic attack and didn't think I'd ever get to it. That would have taken another 2-3 hours too. In the end I have two sewn costumes, a 3rd costume (will be good for next year) already cut (long story), and enough extra fabric that if I have time, I can make a couple of matching hats for the rest of the family in about an hour.

The costumes aren't perfect. But the kids love them. And I feel good that it was something I could give them. That "feel good" is worth something too! (But no, I'm not about to start sewing all their clothes from scratch, though I think I'll start next year's costumes a little earlier...)

Tamiri

Thu, Mar 17 2011, 8:15 am

I think you need to be wise in your saving and wise in your spending. It's nice that you can afford things, but what seems to happen is that people use their money on what they can afford and are still not satiated. So I think it's good to strive for less, then splurge once in a while on things you would not spend on otherwise.
A good measure is writing it all down so that later you can review what you did with your money and decide whether it was wise to spend or not.