CONFESSION re: another post

amother

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 10:55 am

Ima2NYM_LTR wrote:

For the person who made reference to a post of mine almost 1.5 years old about Shabbos hospitality, I dont see the connection. I was brushed off by a Rabbi who could have simply given me the number of another Rabbi who always opens his home to Niagara Falls visitors, (yes, he would have known about him) instead of saying 'we dont do that around here). There was no second side of the story, unless he wasnt on speaking terms with the other Rabbi.
There was no finger pointing in the OP (I didnt even mention the Rabbis name or shul)- it was shock at an attitude that is alien to me, since my community has a much more welcoming attitude. There is no correlation besides my willingness to open my home to this imamother vs my surprise that what I thought was a universal Jewish trait was not as universal as I thought 1.5 years ago.

Also, while I see people were hurt by my post, and I apologized (above), I am hurt that you are implying that these 2 posts are somehow showing a negative side to me. Do you know how many imamothers I have welcomed into my home, either for a meal or for a Shabbos/weekend? Any imamother who comes through Albany is welcome, and I have made many strong friendships and good memories through this. I have welcomed strangers in my home. This mitzvah is one that is closest to my whole family. To say my openness and my (now extinguished) belief others had the same attitude was pointing fingers is very hurtful.

Again, I am sorry this went on so long and people were hurt by it. It was not supposed to be this long or this one sided when we joked about 'how horrible this must seem to the outside' around the table together. I could not leave the 'amother' post unexplained, which is why I did the reveal under my own name. Maybe it would have been best to let it lie, but my conscience would not let me do that. I had made a promise to myself to reveal so I did, no matter the negative feedback I will get. That is why I will continue to read your responses, no matter what they are

Too bad so sad YOU are hurt, truth hurts sometimes Rolling Eyes

what about those people who assumed they were reading the posts of a sane frum woman venting? you can keep telling yourself how kind, hospitable and "good person" you are but it is apples and oranges since you lied to good people here to make a pointless point. Keep your "satire" to RL.

You know you did something very wrong and this kind of "shtick" should IMNSHO get you kicked out of the forum. I think your friend had sechel to stay out of this and decided to stay MIA . Your actions do reflect who you are inside, we are what we do . I for one will not bother with your posts lest I be DUPED again.

This thread is such a sad disgrace and should be locked.

ElTam

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 12:11 pm

OP wrote:

Quote:

I was brushed off by a Rabbi who could have simply given me the number of another Rabbi who always opens his home to Niagara Falls visitors, (yes, he would have known about him) instead of saying 'we dont do that around here). There was no second side of the story, unless he wasnt on speaking terms with the other Rabbi.

And you know this because you are psychic? Perhaps at that time the other rabbi was having an illness or other issue in his family and the first rabbi didn't want to give out personal information. Perhaps the second rabbi was having financial issues and guests were a burden, but he didn't want to say so, so the first rabbi gave you the answer he did.

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 12:33 pm

ElTam wrote:

OP wrote:

Quote:

I know this because I got in touch with Rabbi 2 eventually and he was happy to have us (as well as other visitors) stay, and was very surprised Rabbi 1 did not refer him. Thats pretty conclusive to me

Ima2NYM_LTR

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 1:13 pm

ElTam wrote:

So you are still not open to being DLKZ on the first rabbi (you who are required to be DLKZ on even if the evidence points against him), but you want us to be DLKZ on you after you were intentionally deceptive. Interesting.

no. I was simply giving the most extreme example. I could care less about the first Rabbi and what he said at this point in time- I am simply answering the question posed here namely, if I maybe wasnt seeing another side of the story with the first Rabbi. The answer to the question was Rabbi 1 said it wasnt done in town. Rabbi 2 willingly advertises that he does do it. End of story. Why are we harping on something that is a side point???

ps. Dont care if you are DLKZ on me. If you want to, be my guest, but I wont lose any sleep on one person who Ive never met being mad at me for a failed experiment.

freidasima

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 1:33 pm

Am I the only one who thinks this is hilarous?
This is the INTERNET ladies, in case you have forgotten. Everything goes. Caveat Emptor, let the buyer beware.

when I read the original post if you remember, I smelled a rat, a satire, didn't I? And it was a good one. And when all of you kept writing "no no no there are people like this"...well that's a lesson to me.
Let's see what I learned.

1) There are people who will really open their homes to people they do not know with no references
2) there are guests who are overbearing, don't respect house rules and think they are the center of the universe...and complain about it afterwards

And most of all, that there are people out here with a good sense of humor. All of you who feel hurt, look deep into your hearts and ask yourself why you think that what is written here by an anonymous poster on Imamother is REAL?

Now in some cases we personally know the person involved. Here in EY for example many imamothers know each other, have met, correspond offline, speak on the phone, etc. We know that we are real people, real ladies, with real addresses and real stories, real famlies etc. I've spoken this year alone to over a dozen imamothers, and have met a few, and corresponded offlist with others from EY and abroad....But hey, in other cases? Who knows...

And the same go for the stories.
Take them ALL with a grain of salt.
Be questioning consumers. And if you can't get verification for something that smells fishy...well then do what you want but don't be hurt if it turns out that you got only half a story.

Which is why, the OP posted what she did in the first place.
For me the lesson isn't "always Dun lekaf zechus" which isn't ALWAYS possible.
But it does mean to try and keep an open mind.
The only problem was the way some of the things in the original post were phrased which didn't leave a serious opening for additional information.
But other points? going back and rereading it is a gem.
And for the rest of you, take a deep breath, a reality break, and don't waste your time on anger.
Life is short. If something happens on an internet list that you don't like, move on. Please. It's hard, I know. especially if it comes from a poster you have been in contact with, or know personally, or know a lot about.

But Boruch Hashem, it's the internet, not real life, although wonderful things can and have happened on this site.

aidelmaidel

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 2:04 pm

This is the kind of behaviour I expect on reddit, not imamother.

I have to say I agree with the other posters.

Just because you have an open home, practice hachnosis orchim, does not give you a "get out jail free card" because you did something many here feel was deceitful. (This is just like when Yidden say, "Oh he might have cheated on his taxes, but please don't send him to jail because he is a big ba'al chessed") One doesn't absolve the other.

I went back and read all 9 pages of the Rabbi thread. http://imamother.com/forum/vie.....art=0

There were many places where people tried to be DLKZ the Rabbi and you still felt his inability to help you was not okay. I agree with El Tam that you want us to be DLKZ you that you meant no harm in your "joke", but that you still don't want to be DLKZ that Rabbi.

Raizle

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 6:25 pm

ElTam wrote:

OP wrote:

Quote:

Oh for goodness sake leave the OP alone already. This is an old post from close to 2 years ago not even relevant to this topic why bring it up?

Friedasima wrote:

Am I the only one who thinks this is hilarous?

not at all. You are thinking along exactly the same lines as I am and as I posted but they aren't taking to heart anything we are saying and totally ignoring us.
I find it incredible how personal people have taken this whole thing and I think it says A LOT for the point the OP was trying to make.

Strudel wrote:

Agreed.
The OP is a long time trusted poster. She was trying to make a point, and it didn't quite work, but she has apologized.
Let's move on.

which is why I think that the anonymous bashers on this thread are either new posters who don't know her and are too cowardly to come out under their own names or have some gripe with her to begin with, which again explains the anonymity

for the record amother or amothers, the OP wasn't even breaking any site rules but YOU were by abusing the amother feature. Go back and read the rules.

Ima2NYM_LTR is an established long time poster here, not known for making trouble as far as I'm aware and I think she's earned her license for displaying a bit of humor whether you share her sense of it or not.
I for one "get it".

something tells me too that those of you that are getting so heated up and nasty about this on some level know that you just got caught out and our bothered by that.
Ask your selves exactly what is bothering you so much.

imasinger

Tue, Nov 01 2011, 8:11 pm

Well.

Add me to those who were shocked to see someone I trusted purposely post something deceitful until I read why you did it, in which case I didn't agree with your method, but still found it amusing.

I was one of the ones feeling sorry for your awful 3-day yom tov, having had my share of difficult guests. OK, I wasn't losing any sleep over it .

For sure, there is a certain amount of trust that one can choose to have, or not to have. If you had been someone who was truly suffering from a difficult experience, would you have liked it if people started all asking you what parts of the story you weren't telling? of course, the sensitive types often go storming off in a huff; kudos to you for staying to hash it out.

So, my challenge to you and your absent friend (shame on her for leaving you in the lurch with your one-sided story, and to take the heat here) (oh, wait... maybe I shouldn't believe everything I read... OK, so maybe that part of the story is worth questioning, too?)

But I digress. wait... me, digress? Never.

My challenge is for the 2 of you to put your heads together and see if you can find something amusing to as many people here as possible.