Morah Expecting To Much From A 5 Yr Old?

amother

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 9:44 am

5 yr old DD's morah has mentioned this by PTA & now she called to say that "it got worse"
DD is always last to finish all class work, she forgets to give me notes from school which resulted in me having to check er briefcase every day. I asked the teacher to send home notes pinned to her jacket & the teacher says that her age should not need that!

She left her Alef Bais book home for 2 days & the teacher said she was the only kid this year to EVER forget her book at home! I asked the teacher why she didnt call me or send a note the first day that she forgot it. So she said in PRE1A a kid should be responsible enough to verbally give over the message to her mommy. I am very upset & confused. All other teachers so far no mentioned this problem.

She is doing amazing socially & catches onto EVERYTHING taught in the classroom. I do see that all the arts & crafts she brings home is "almost" complete so I'm not denying it...but is this problem SO UNUSUAL for a 5 yr old kid?

Are 5 year olds supposed to be THAT responsible?

5*Mom

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 9:59 am

No, they most definitely are not. Some might be, but I would highly doubt that your dd is really the only girl in her class who isn't on top of these things. How much experience does this teacher have? What training does she have? Early Childhood extends till age 8. The closer to age 8 you get, the fewer the children who will still need a teacher's or parent's help with "responsibility" ( Rolling Eyes

) such as you mention, which has nothing to do with responsibility and everything to do with a specific skill set. But it would be considered normal until about that age.

These are skills that are meant to be taught in school, usually over a number of years. If the teacher isn't aware of the need to teach them or doesn't have the skills to teach them you should speak to the principal.

FWIW, it is a pet peeve of mine when teachers of young students--and certainly of preschool students!--send messages to parents verbally instead of in writing. IMO, it shows laziness and irresponsibility on the part of the teacher, not the student.

sky

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:01 am

No.

I have to remind my son to pack up his bag every evening and I check his bag when he comes home. He has too much thoughts going on in his head to remember at this point. Its not like he has a homework planner and can mark down what he needs to do and remember.

Can you try to work on it at home. Reminding her when she comes home to show you what is in her breifcase. And before she goes to sleep remind her to pack up.

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:03 am

I agree with the previous posters. My 5.5 year old son would forget his homework etc at home, if I wouldn't remind him to pack his bag before going to bed. I agree that this morah is being unreasonable. FWIW, the morahs in my son's school send all messages via notes.

Ruchel

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:09 am

It's a style of education. Very strict, very old school, to make children mature. It doesn't work for all, of course, and I'm not sure I believe your child is the only one for whom it doesn't work.

amother

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:14 am

wow! thanks for all the replies! sure makes me feel better. Any suggestions how I bring this up to the morah (she's teaching for the second year). her point was that ALL other 20 kids in the class are doing ok?

yo'ma

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:15 am

amother wrote:

She left her Alef Bais book home for 2 days & the teacher said she was the only kid this year to EVER forget her book at home!

So, I'm assuming this has happened other years.

5*Mom

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:19 am

amother wrote:

Oy. Good luck. There wouldn't happen to be a staff mentor at this preschool, would there? She needs some mentoring.

Merrymom

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 10:31 am

How old is this teacher? She's clearly clueless about the typical five year old. I don't believe that the other kids never forget. I hate to say it but knowing five year olds quite well I'm saying she's lying. There's just no way that your child is the only one that forgets. Don't cater to the teacher and find out from your child if she's harassing her in any way in which case be sure to tell the principal what's going on.

Twizzlers

Wed, Jan 11 2012, 11:23 am

amother wrote:

. her point was that ALL other 20 kids in the class are doing ok?

Her point is that ALL other 20 mothers are putting their kids homework away and checking briefcases and you are not. Which is pathetic. I hate it when teachers give students responsibilities that are clearly for the parents; like we have nothing better to do. There is no way my 5 year old would remember to give me a message from the teacher, and he is a very responsible type of kid. Shes trying to take the easy way out for herself, and if I were you id ignore her comments and just state matter of factly that if she wants you to get a message it needs to be pinned to the shirt or u wont get it.

amother

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 9:31 pm

op here, and what about the fact that her morah expects her to give over messages (like asking to bring empty snack wrappers for class projects for tomorrow...). no note.

Dandelion1

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 9:54 pm

amother wrote:

HI for your replies. I will contact the principal tomorrow, just want to know if anyone thinks this is because DD is one of the youngest in the class?

good question, I've wondered too, since all my kids are winter babies= youngest in class. Overall, yes, I think this age discrepancy shows up in the earlier grades. At least that has been my experience. However, ITA with all the other posts. Ridiculous! Remember messages? Never forget a book? FYI, I just sent a note to my 1st grader's teacher, saying she seems to be having some trouble remembering her hw folder in school, could teacher give her a little help remembering her stuff, etc. Teacher sent note back, wrote "SURE!" (This is a seasoned teacher who has been in the school about 30 years....)

amother

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 9:59 pm

candyheart wrote:

amother wrote:

HI for your replies. I will contact the principal tomorrow, just want to know if anyone thinks this is because DD is one of the youngest in the class?

OP here...SIGH! Just want to clarify that I posted as amother even though I'm careful usually not to, cuz I know of 2 mothers that have kids in her class that are on here...Just dont want to instigate anything...

Dandelion1

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 10:02 pm

amother wrote:

candyheart wrote:

amother wrote:

HI for your replies. I will contact the principal tomorrow, just want to know if anyone thinks this is because DD is one of the youngest in the class?

confused.... did I say something out of turn...?

groisamomma

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 10:18 pm

I don't think so, candyheart, I think OP finished reading yours and sighed for her daughter's situation.

Ha. My 5 and 6 year-olds are always forgetting one thing or another...because they have an irresponsible mother. THEY ARE LITTLE KIDS!

What bugs me is that my 5.5-yr-old (OP sounds like our kids are alike.) not only doesn't bring her stuff back to school if I don't put it in, but she tends to bring everything home from school a day late (show-and-tell was yesterday, brachos party is today by the time I get to read it Rolling Eyes

) What irks me is that she's so out of touch that she doesn't even ask morah if she doesn't get one to take home. "Mommy, everyone got a blue paper today. I don't have one." Did you ask morah for one? "No." Why not? "I don't know. I'll get one tomorrow." As usual, we're a day behind.

OP, the teacher is young. She'll grow out of it when she sees that most 5-yr-olds are like your dd, not like her last-years class.

amother

Mon, Jan 16 2012, 10:27 pm

groisamomma wrote:

I don't think so, candyheart, I think OP finished reading yours and sighed for her daughter's situation.

OP here. the bolded is exactly on target. Wink