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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Guests
Chayalle
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 Thu, Nov 14 2013, 3:16 pm
| Barbara wrote: | Herein lies the problem.
Zaq wants kitchen towels. We have a friend who always brings kitchen towels; no one I know likes them.
Zaq doesn't want serving pieces. Anuta does.
Chayalle will be Flowerpower's BFF if Flowerpower shown up with ices. I'd give her the stink eye. Am I supposed to rearrange or clear out my tiny freezer for your ices? I don't even LIKE ices.
MiracleMama likes cookbooks. I'd wonder if it were a not-so-subtle hint. "Barbara, babes. We love you, but we're tired of the same old, same old. Which, truth be told, doesn't taste so good to begin with."
You can't win. Just do your best. |
Icecream, Barbara. Not ices. Big difference!
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Barbara
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 3:18 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | | Barbara wrote: | Herein lies the problem.
Zaq wants kitchen towels. We have a friend who always brings kitchen towels; no one I know likes them.
Zaq doesn't want serving pieces. Anuta does.
Chayalle will be Flowerpower's BFF if Flowerpower shown up with ices. I'd give her the stink eye. Am I supposed to rearrange or clear out my tiny freezer for your ices? I don't even LIKE ices.
MiracleMama likes cookbooks. I'd wonder if it were a not-so-subtle hint. "Barbara, babes. We love you, but we're tired of the same old, same old. Which, truth be told, doesn't taste so good to begin with."
You can't win. Just do your best. |
Icecream, Barbara. Not ices. Big difference! |
Even worse, for me. Can't pawn it off as dessert after a meat meal, can't throw it in the garbage until after you leave.
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LisaS
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 3:34 pm
I didn't read the other replies, but I agree with you that a game for the kids is better than candy for the kids.
I think it's nice when people bring nice fruit, a homemade kugel, and I do really like flowers.
Please don't bring me dishes unless you are sure it is something I both need and want.
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Learning
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 3:49 pm
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We get expensive yummy parve chocolate or and A nice wine bottle. If we sleep over we get also a game for the kids. We know one family that is loaded with money and just don't need anything and all their kids are grown. so we just get flowers. Last time I forgot to bring the flowers and I apologized and she pointed to her gorgeous synthetic plastic flowers and said dont worry I like these flowers the best.
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SJcookie
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 4:13 pm
There's no going wrong with bringing dessert! 
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Kitten
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 6:10 pm
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If you know the people well, you can either ask them what they would like or figure out yourself what would make them happy. If you don't, I would suggest dessert or chocolate because there will always be someone in the house to appreciate this kind of gift.
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Grandmama
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 6:27 pm
| Ruchel wrote: | I'm fine with any of nice quality.
If chocolate is the cheapo parve type, then I definitely prefer flowers. Dish, only if you know I can eat from you (kashrus wise, MSG wise etc).
At worst I prefer no gift to a blah one. But flowers are always nice. To me. There are people who are allergic etc. |
By a dish they mean just a pretty dish or bowl or plate that you can use to put cake or cookies or fruit on. They didn't mean food. Just an empty dish like a gift of Lenox, crystal, or some other cheap or expensive dish made of porcelain or some other material.
I like giving expensive chocolates. At $35 a pound, only milchig is worth eating. They are delicious and for the amount you want to spend it's only a small box but a nice indulgence. Who doesn't love a good piece of chocolate?
Cheap flowers serve no purpose, and many people get flowers weekly so they are just superfluous.
Some kids have tons of toys and books so they don't want more, I would only buy something that just came out and is brand new if getting toys of any kind. I hate buying or getting cheap dishes that are useless, we all have too many of those.
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cmommy
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 8:25 pm
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a friend once gave me a gift certificate for a manicure. I loved the treat! Now that it's my go to gift
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Volunteer
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Thu, Nov 14 2013, 11:52 pm
I like to give/get flowers because they're pretty, most people like them, they're affordable, and if the hostess doesn't like them, they'll only last a week or so anyway.
Fruit baskets are nice too, because most people enjoy fruit, they're attractive, and healthy.
I don't like getting dishes or towels unless the guest really knows my taste, because if I don't like them, they're just space-wasters.
Another option is to ask what the hostess might like. She will almost surely say something like, "Oh, you don't need to bring anything!" But I reply with a smile, "Well, I'm going to bring you something, so it might as well be something you like!"
One thing that I really like to give/get that should be included with any gift (even a small one) is a sincere and personal thank you card! Not just one of those generic hallmark ones, thank you note with a message you write yourself addressed specifically to the hostess. The whole point of a gift is a gesture of gratitude, and I think the item is more symbolic than anything else. Sincere kind words on a card can be memorable in a way that just another box of chocolate can't be.
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a1mom
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 12:28 am
If we go away for a meal I usually call and ask what I can bring, if I know I won't have time to make anything I just bring wine.
shabbos gets tricky....usually a cookbook or a new book of stories that just came out depending on the hostess.
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etky
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 12:59 am
| cmommy wrote: | | a friend once gave me a gift certificate for a manicure. I loved the treat! Now that it's my go to gift |
I also once got that from a friend who came for Shabbat. I don't get my nails done, ever (unless my wedding counts) - it's not something I care about enough to invest in - and it would have been a tircha for me to go the place she got the certificate from. I felt bad about it but I never used it.
I also hate receiving flowers, especially right before Shabbat. I'm very picky about the flowers that I like (I'm also allergic to orchids) and I can't bear to have to look at flowers that are ugly IMO or that clash with the table's color scheme over the entire Shabbat. Also, who wants to have to patchke with flowers 5 min. before Shabbat, especially if I already purchased a nicer bunch, more to my taste, earlier in the day.
Just shows you - one man's meat is another man's poison, as others have already pointed out.
OTOH - I love anything for the house (with the possible exception of dish towels and pot holders of which I have a ton) and/or anything edible - but not something I'm expected to serve during the meal. If someone is bringing something to serve I want to know about it well in advance.
Basically, I don't like anything imposed on me or that forces me to deal with it when I don't really want to.
My go to gifts are household items (and the thought of them being regifted does not bother me in the least): cute or pretty salad servers, trivets, picture frames, scented candles and/or potpourri, candy dish, salad bowl, salt +pepper shakers, napkin or paper towel holder, fruit bowl, cake plate and/or server, pitcher or carafe, challah plate, honey dish, salad dressing cruets, calendar (if it's that time of year), pretty stationary or note paper, special fridge magnets as well as gourmet items: flavored olive oils, prettily packaged spice or salts blends, a selection of specialty teas or coffees etc. - generally things that are shelf-stable and last rather than one-time indulgences which are gone in a jiffy ( though sometimes exceptions can be made for seriously yummy things).
If it were up to DH we would always bring wine and many times we do bring a bottle along as an addition.
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zaq
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 1:09 am
| Volunteer wrote: |
Another option is to ask what the hostess might like. She will almost surely say something like, "Oh, you don't need to bring anything!" But I reply with a smile, "Well, I'm going to bring you something, so it might as well be something you like!"
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This is the.most.sensible.post in this entire thread. 
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mother4
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 9:41 am
I prefer not to ask ppl. what they need since they never tell me outright. Especially this friend, she has money and tons of toys. Her typical reaction is always, "Just YOU coming is a treat" or "I was by you already, so you don't owe me anything".
Also, it's more exciting to come in with the surprise, she won't be able to refuse. I very much like the idea of the cookbook, and will try to get the new one (Balabusta#2) If it's not in yet, I will get the gift certificate to book store. I did change my mind about the flowers...Thanks everyone for the great advice and Gut Shabbos to all!!
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amother
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 9:51 am
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im always dieting so I dont appreciate chocolate platters which is very often what I recieve from my guests. they wind up sitting in my fridge forever. I appreciate a dish or game much more, as they are everlasting. but its nice of the guest to show they care by bringing anything
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rikismom
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 9:52 am
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A book makes a great gift
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mummiedearest
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 10:41 am
bring a platter of dried fruits on a pretty but disposable dish.
I love flowers, but if they smell too strong, I get headaches. not helpful for shabbos. plus, my candlestick are on the table, I have nowhere to put the flowers where they don't look out of place.
I can't eat chocolate, but my family can. if I had to choose of the three, I'd take chocolate.
I have particular taste in dish ware. I don't like receiving anything "fancy" from friends. they always have fancier taste than I do. I like simple, clean looking things. nothing floral, curlicued, silver/mahogany, or sparkly. I really hate receiving those gifts. I tend to give them to whichever acquaintance mentions liking them first. "you like it? it's yours!"
oh, and people do bring me whole fruits from the supermarket. I love that. it may not be arranged nicely, but it's delicious, healthy, eaten by everyone at the table, and totally appreciated.
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syrima
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 11:04 am
the cookbook idea reminded me...
Last time I went to EY I knew we would be going to visit relatives and would need gifts.
I bought about 6 new American cookbooks with me.
I was able to flip through each one first to see if there were any great recipes I could use, then gave one to each famiily as a gift. They were all very appreciative!
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zaq
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 11:14 am
| amother wrote: | | im always dieting so I dont appreciate chocolate platters which is very often what I recieve from my guests. they wind up sitting in my fridge forever. |
I'm in awe of you. If I get a chocolate platter, it winds up sitting on my hips forever.
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shlomitsmum
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 1:41 pm
With me you give me CHOCOLATE and I will  you forever! flowers/dish ....nah
DH gets me chocolate too but the more the better  .
If in Toronto ever get chocs from Chocolate Charm their truffles are HEAVENLY 
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SRD
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Fri, Nov 15 2013, 1:57 pm
Best hostess gifts I've received:
Yotam Ottolenghi's Jerusalem Cookbook
Kosher liqueur/Ice wine
Laura's Wholesome Junkfood
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