Video of a Rebbi Hitting a Child - Trigger Warning

amother

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:10 pm

My son has been hit...a few times. The teacher had been in prison and they gave him his teaching job when they let him out. This is where an ex-husband can be useful---he made a huge case and had the guy dismissed again...but guess what? He's back teaching this year. I hear these stories all the time and it is getting to the point where people barely bat an eyelash. I remember someone on a certain forum said basically "I don't like it, but in Israel in chareidi schools, sometimes the rebbes hit." Well, I'm glad my ex and I wont' tolerate it, but if they hire them back, what can we do if we don't have oodles of cash to pay a lawyer to prosecute and if we don't want to uproot our kids from the system entirely?

harriet

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:15 pm

amother wrote:

Ok, I had to read this twice to figure out if you're being serious or not (I think you are, sadly).

amother

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:18 pm

Yes I am....I am not a troll...posted anonymously only because it is a painful subject, honestly, and I don't want people harping on me saying we didn't do enough, but we did all we could do without tons to pay lawyers (even went to the Board of Ed) and this would have started a war against my son, which we didn't want. We got the teacher suspended, slap on the wrist compared to the actually punching he inflicted on my son.

5*Mom

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:26 pm

BlueRose52 wrote:

I heard about a recent incident in Beit Shemesh where a rabbi (Rabbi Ari Enkin, author of the Daled Amos Shel Halachah series) was screamed at by the principal of a local charedi elementary school that he has to vote for Abutbul because Rav Steinman said so, and when Rabbi Enkin responded that he doesn't need to follow Rav Steinman, the principal screamed at him that he is an apikores and then, in full view of a crowd of horrified onlookers, slapped him across the face.

Is this what you're referring to?

Yes.

marina

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 1:57 pm

amother wrote:

I don't know about YSV but you really need to do better research about any place you are looking to send to, speak to many parents and ex-parents to get a full picture. Ask specific questions, was your child ever hit? Did he ever watch someone else being hit?

My dh taught English in a different chassidishe cheder not yet mentioned on this thread. He watched the principal hit a kid who was a mechutzef. He said that while the child probably deserved a slap, the principal hit him in anger and that he didn't think it was justified. But what he could he do? What

Not only that, the mother of the child called dh later that day to ask him about the incident because she thought the slap was too aggressively administered (she agreed that perhaps he needed a smack Exclamation

) and dh lied and said that he didn't think so. When I held him to task for that, he said; well, he's my boss. How could I talk negativvely about him behind his back? So that's one way that these incidents get covered up Crying

your husband was complicit in this abuse. I can understand why you'd post as amother.

marina

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 2:02 pm

amother wrote:

You don't have to pay someone to prosecute. You just call the police and they do it for free.

You can also file civil lawsuits and have a lawyer on a contingency fee basis- meaning the lawyer only gets paid if you win or settle.

But if you don't want to uproot your kids from the system entirely, I guess you should just accept the fact that you'll be paying for criminals to abuse your kids.

marina

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 2:04 pm

amother wrote:

How can you stay in a community which would start a war against your son if you stood up against a teacher who punched him?

I don't understand how you can stay in this community and possibly continue subjecting your child to this and still sleep at night.

marina

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 2:05 pm

amother wrote:

Post the name of the school and the teacher.

amother

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 2:43 pm

amother wrote:

That video made me cry.
It reminds me of this article: http://www.zaakah.com/2012/09/.....-out/ . I grew up in Monsey & when I read it I immediately called up my 2 older brothers who had gone to Bais Mikroh and asked them if anything had happened to them. One brother said no but boys (he said not only in his school) got hit all the time & no one made a big deal about it. The other brother (a big buff tough guy mind you) started tearing up and said that yes he had been hit too.
It is especially painful to me that my brothers went through this b/c we grew up in a very unstable home and it makes me so so sad that they had no safe place.
I've posted before about this- I went through the BY system and it was BAD, but there was never any physical abuse. (NOT that emotional abuse is any better- it just seems that girls schools take a different approach to "discipline").
And so to the people who ask me why my (2.5 yr old) son is in a non frum nursery/babysitters group, THIS, my friends, is why. Exploding anger

I have seven brothers that went to Bais Mikroh and much as I hate to disagree with the haters that responded to his article I've heard all those stories before...countless times. Yes, the second grade rebbe hit with a stick and yes all those rabbeim hit. Why didn't my parents take the kids out? Well, for starters, my brothers were not necessarily easy and they were more old school in discipline back in the day (they've since gotten smarter and finally switched the youngest one out...he went to YSV where there was no abuse but isn't quite in line with the family hashkafah) and they figured if the rebbe hit the kid deserved it. I wish I could have answered those doubting it on facebook anonymously.

And I'm sick to my stomach after watching that. Heaven help the fool who lays a hand on my kid. I wouldn't bother going to the principal first. I'd go straight to school with the police and have him arrested in front of the whole class. Before or after having my husband and brothers set loose to beat the **** out of him. Depending on how nice I'm feeling after he hurt my child.

amother

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 2:48 pm

.marina wrote:

What lawyer would do it entirely on contingency? The lawyers who would stand up to the system have been burned by people dropping their suits because of pressure. They want significant retainers. I only know of a handful who handle these matters and none are on total contingency. If you know of willing attorneys who don't want money upfront who have a proven track record please publish their names.

amother

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 4:03 pm

DH is in his 30's and he went to a famous non-chassidish elementary school in NY where he was hit. In 4th grade, the kids kept a chart of how many times each kid was hit and by the end of the year he had been hit more than 400 times! (That rebbi ended up dying of cancer at a very young age.)

However, the administration has totally change since those years and we were told that no one hits anymore.

DH says it was a different generation then. He says he never told his parents because they would have given him another potch for causing the teacher to hit him! That was the mentality back in those days.

I have 2 relatives in their 30's-40's who were also hit as kids. But both of them hit the rebbi back and were never touched again! One punched the rebbi in the face when he saw the rebbi was about to hit him. The other was being held up against the wall by his shirt collar. He said he was in the perfect spot - he just gave the rebbi a kick right where it hurts and the guy dropped him immediately!

DH says if any rebbi ever hits our DS, he will beat the living daylights out of him.

marina

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 7:37 pm

amother wrote:

Are you in NYC? I can find you names of attorneys who will do a civil lawsuit on a contingency fee if your child was beaten at school.

amother

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 9:21 pm

marina wrote:

Are you in NYC? I can find you names of attorneys who will do a civil lawsuit on a contingency fee if your child was beaten at school.

Rockland County. These lawyers don't ask anything for expenses like filing fees, depositions and court costs?

The civil rights attorneys want retainers even for contingency fee cases. I consulted with 4. I paid $15,000 upfront and another $10,000 during the case.

Also, most families would like discrete attorneys. They don't want to be on the news. Would these attorney agree to no press and to cover the costs?

observer

Thu, Mar 20 2014, 10:08 pm

Just wanted to reiterate that there are many many frum yeshivos and schools that would never lay a finger on a child (which should be a given everywhere).

Also, everyone is getting so hung up on the name of the rebbe in the video clip and what grade he teaches... chances are that he is not the only rebbe in that school that hits. Generally there are school policies, and you should find out what the policy is before enrolling your child there. But if there is even one rebbe in the school that hits, I would think a parent should take their child out immediately, as that would indicate a certain approach in the school.

marina

Fri, Mar 21 2014, 9:43 am

amother wrote:

1-845-638-6800 Jeff Adams is an attorney with this firm http://www.reuvenjepsteinlaw.c......html

I specifically stated that my friend is looking for contracting on a contingency fee basis

Also, did your child need medical treatment? People are asking me

Last edited by marina on Fri, Mar 21 2014, 11:29 am; edited 2 times in total

octopus

Fri, Mar 21 2014, 10:14 am

observer wrote:

no school is going to say hitting is their policy because it is ILLEGAL.

amother

Fri, Mar 21 2014, 3:15 pm

marina wrote:

You didn't quite answer the questions.

Will Jeff Adams do this without a check for costs. My attorney worked on a contingency fee also. The two checks were to cover costs .

Would he agree to NO publicity? I rather not discuss the specifics because of privacy concerns.