Mikvahs in Israel | Imamother

m in Israel

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 9:53 am

Sanguine wrote:

You people are too much Surprised

I'm married 28 years and I've been to a lot of mikvas. The only one I ever found really gross was the lake in camp on a Friday night (and it was drizzling too). The only mikva lady that I ever found pushy was the Ocean Ave and Avenue L 5 star hotel who insisted on cleaning my toenails with a toothpick (guess she was trying to earn the $40 that I was paying). I really never heard of pushy mikva ladies till this forum - I guess there are different mikvas for Chareidim and the MLs really feel it's their responsibility to "get you in the mood". Our Rav here tells the mikva ladies that it's really up to the woman to decide if she wants more checked and help with anything. They'll point out things but if I tell them I've done my best and that's it, they never push.

When you move to a community you ask some of the women where the mikva is. I've never heard of checking it out from 100's or 1,000's of miles away (unless you're going to some very small place and want to make sure there actually is a mikva). Is the mikva going to affect where she moves? So when is she coming? Maybe we can start working on her mikva now and get it up to Ocean Ave 5 star standards. (BTW - I don't think Ranana has English speaking mikva ladies - maybe some days)

Really - Am I the only one who finds all these questions from miles away for some future date a bit much?

Goodness, Sanguine, can you please drop the anti-Chareidi comments. I really used to enjoy reading your posts. . .
OP never said she was Chareidi, and actually it is implied in her OP that she is not. Mikvah anxiety tends to be based on personality and possibly life experiences, not whether your are Chareidi or DL! And I've never heard of mikvahs just for Chareidim, although obviously the users of a mikvah will generally reflect the local demographics unless it is a particularly nice mikvah that people are willing to travel to use (and yes, there are people who do that.) And for all you know she needs the information now because she is coming on a pilot trip and may need to use the mikvah while she is here. Personally I am very laid back about mikvahs situations -- I'm one of those who BH doesn't find mikvah particularly stressful, and as long as a place is clean I can deal with pretty much anything. But I understand those for whom mikvah is a stressful experience, and I think finding out whatever you can in advance is a good idea for them. Especially if there are choices, why not know what your best options are?

You may never have heard the concept of finding out about local mikvahs when researching a move, but it is not an uncommon thing to check out, just like you may want to know what type of kosher restaurants there are, even if that is not making or breaking your move. These are quality of life details that people find out when trying to get a picture of what life would be like in a new city. This is not the first time you have publicly claimed not to believe posters simply because they wanted to know about things that you thought were unimportant, or they had life experiences that you could not relate to. There are all sorts of people in the world, and all sorts of people on imamother, and I think a little less judgement of others will be very helpful.

5*Mom

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 10:18 am

Sanguine wrote:

You people are too much Surprised

I've posted a few times on this forum about my mikvah anxiety and panic attacks--caused mainly by the ml's at the lovely mikvah in RBS B that m in israel mentioned above--so if I were planning a move you better believe I would research mikvaot first.

Sanguine, so glad mikvah hasn't ever been a major event for you but after having spoken to ml's about my experiences I have found out that mikvah-related anxiety and panic is quite common. Yes, common. Believe it or not, other people may have had significant life experiences that are different from yours. If you open your eyes and your ears and just read or listen without jumping on that reply button, you might learn something. Or not.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 10:27 am

Sanguine wrote:

I didn't mean to be anti chareidi. I've just never heard stories like the ones I've heard here of such horrible experiences at the mikva. About the mikva lady being judgemental. That's why I think there must be different mikvas - like there are different shuls. I knew I would sound anti-chareidi. I didn't meant to be but I've never ever had those bad experiences that women here speak of. Maybe those stories are what got OP scared of coming to a mikva here.

There are definitely not different mikvaot for different segments of jews. I was also in that mikvah in rbs b, quite a few times and I only had positive experiences, but I am not chassidish and they never asked me to leave.

m in Israel

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 10:29 am

Sanguine wrote:

Again, putting your own judgement into OP's post. OP didn't say she had a bad experience or heard bad things about mikvahs in Israel. She simply asked for recommendations of mikvahs that meet specific criteria that she is interested in -- which we are trying to tell you is not unusual when people are considering a move. Just because it is not something you would research doesn't mean others don't.

wispalover

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 4:25 pm

Sanguine wrote:

I just want to tell you- the grotty mikva I referenced before was in Kiryat Sanz (the charedi part of Netanya). All kinds of women went, but the ML was horrible to me because I was probably not as speedy as she was used to, and kept asking her to speak really slowly. She was pretty bad-tempered anyway, but that killed that mikva experience for me. Even the new, really nice and clean Mikva I go to here - I find the ML's to be really invasive and question me and check me really carefully. The mikva in the States I used to go to, I did not deal with that and were just happy to see me using the Mikva.
Also, I was always allowed to dip wearing nail polish from that day- here, I made the mistake of once going with a fresh coat of gel manicure (from that day)- it was not a very fun evening.
I think that it is because you are older that you don't get questioned as closely.

shabbatiscoming

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 4:30 pm

wispalover wrote:

wispa, I dont get questioned ever. The only mikvah I ever got questioned at was a chassidish one in rbs b and one in teaneck nj. Other than that, here in my yishuv and other yishuvm around where I live, another one in rbs and in modiin, never got questioned by a mikvah lady, ever. They just watch me dunk. And one, thankfully, noticed that I was wearing a bracelet and held it for me. But other than that, they have just watched me dunk and that was that. And I am your age, not sanguine's age Smile

Success10

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 4:36 pm

5*Mom wrote:

I also used to suffer from severe mikvah anxiety. Not because of the mikvahs or the mikvah ladies, or my kallah teacher either. Just some issues of my own which I have Baruch Hashem worked through, for the most part. It's nice to meet a fellow survior.

etky

Mon, Mar 24 2014, 4:42 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

The only thing I am sometimes asked is "Do you want me to check anything"? I generally ask the ML to check my back for hairs and that's the extent of it. When I lived in Jerusalem I remember being asked some questions about my preparations and being required to show my nails. When I first moved to Efrat I was actually a bit disconcerted not to be asked anything.

amother

Tue, Mar 25 2014, 2:23 am

OP. Thanks for the information. I'm actually in Israel now on a vacation, not a pilot trip, however, we are gathering information for our decision. I've been able to get information about the communities, schools, etc. from our friends and relatives here, however, I just didn't feel comfortable asking questions about the mikvahs directly to friends/relatives, so that was why I posted here specifically about mikvah options. Is the mikvah going to make or break my aliyah decision or determine where in Israel we live? No, but I feel significantly better knowing that there are mikvahs where I am more likely to feel comfortable and where to find them. And I shouldn't need to use the mikvah on this trip hopefully, but you never know so I thought it would be good to ask now.

I have to say, I was much more ambivalent about the idea of aliyah before and when I first got to Israel because I had a lot of negative assumptions about Israelis and communities in Israel. The assumptions weren't necessarily based on anything and some seem to be inventions of my own imagination. As I've been here, I've been pleasantly surprised to see many of my negative assumptions proven wrong. I really appreciate these responses, because for some reason, I made a lot of negative assumptions about the mikvahs and MLs in Israel and it seems based on this thread that my assumptions were unwarranted and there are mikvahs where I could feel comfortable and have a positive experience.

shabbatiscoming

Tue, Mar 25 2014, 2:54 am

amother wrote:

OP, Good Luck on your decision. And if you have more questions about Israel and communities etc, we are here to try to help you Smile

wispalover

Tue, Mar 25 2014, 9:59 am

shabbatiscoming wrote:

OK, I have a new theory. I think I get questioned because I don't cover my hair and I go in pants. My friend here, who only wears skirts and a sheitel, says she has never been questioned at any mikva- again, I cannot speak to mikvaot in areas where you and Etky and Sanguine live- only the ones here where I live.