Does your dh buy you a yom tov gift?

out-of-towner

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:59 am

I have gained a LOT of weight pre and post pregnancy and don't have any Spring clothing that fit. My YT present is new clothes which I have been buying over the last few weeks. I HATE shopping, but no choice!

Last year DH surprised me with earrings, but that was also our first YT married.

I am very low-maintenance, maybe TOO low maintenance! I enjoy getting new things, but don't like spending money and don't like making decisions!

lfab

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 12:24 pm

If we could afford it he would love to. Unfortunately right now gifts are not in our budget and I wouldn't want him buying something for me that I knew we couldn't afford. When we are home for a yom tov he will buy flowers though (so I guess that sort of counts as a gift).

sky

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 12:30 pm

I've heard that women should get something new for yom tov. That can mean buying something for herself (tichel, tights, shoes, dress, etc) or her husband can buy something for her. A piece of cake that she likes counts.
Supposedly new stuff makes us happy on yom tov, and men get happy from their wine and meat.

My DH will encourage me to buy something for myself. If I don't he may bring something home, and it may be a slice of cake, pretty bowl from Marshalls, flowers, or something else. But he'd rather I just buy something new for yom tov.

causemommysaid

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 1:19 pm

maybe flowers (although I think flowers are a total waste of money and hate when we waste money)

I buy myself clothing and do my shaitels before yom tov but that is not a gift from him to me.

I think the number of gifts going on in marriages today is crazy by the way.

tons of jewlery and other stuff when getting married

birthday gifts

anniversary gifts

push presents Confused

gift for every yom tov

flowers for shabbos

where do people get the money for all that?

you can be super romantic and spend close to nothing by the way. it just takes a little creativity.

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 1:24 pm

sky wrote:

The irony in our marriage is that I am the wine-drinker. DH can't tolerate wine, so he buys it for me l'kovod shabbas or yom tov! And meat, forget it, I love meat and DH has a hard time chewing many meats so he usually prefers chicken over meat. If I make meat for yom tov it's for myself!! So then do I also deserve new clothing and jewelry? Confused

Beyla

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 1:32 pm

Sherri wrote:

Is there a specific reason for this thread, OP? What information are you seeking?

We don't specially do those yom tov gifts by us and I was just wondering if most people do it. It's nice to see the answers.

No need for comparison imo, I don't have any gift for yt but bh I'm still happy with my dh! LOL

chaos

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 7:53 pm

I didn't know this was a thing. We don't do yom tov gifts, but we also don't really do gifts much in general. We each have a different love language and it's not gifts for either of us. Every once in a while, if one of us sees something the other will really like, we'll get it, but both of us also find the pressure of finding a gift for a specific occasion very stressful.

rachelbg

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:16 pm

We usually arrange to have credit card points that will buy gift cards for discounted rates. I save the gift cards to use them to buy some sort of clothing for yom tov.

Were not financially cut out for real gifts of any sort right now (and never have been!)

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:35 pm

I am married for over a dozen years, yet I can count on one hand how many presents DH got for me, not the house. Glassware on sale for shabbos isnt counted, shabbos lamp that I asked for is. DH never saw his father buy his mother anything. My parents didnt have alot of money, but I do remember my parents buying each other gifts. My MIL is a person that you dont buy presents for, she likes to buy things herself, her taste. I cant afford to window shop and buy things at random.

I really wish my DH does get me something for yomtov, but based on past experience I should know better. It isnt about the money, flowers cost a few dollars. We also got unexpected money recently that will cover our pesach expenses. I did go out and buy myself a new robe.

momX4

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:44 pm

amother wrote:

my 13 yr Old DD bought me the new cookbook,
I was so excited and made a big deal out of it.
My DH gave her back the money for it. That's as close to a gift I will get.

This is the sweetest thing ever!!

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 10:55 pm

I am sitting here reading this title and thinking to myself and its not the first time. why do pp care what dh buys for me? I dont know any of you. and I really dont. I keep seeing these kinds of questions all the time. I am just wondering why pp even care to know this. seriously I would love to know. every husband shows his wife appreciation and love in so many different ways. I just think its stupid to even care to even think about it or even to ask anyone. I just needed to get this off my chest. thanks.

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:34 pm

amother wrote:

You have to understand something. When I was newly married all my friends proudly showed off their new jewelry/clothing every yomtov. I had nothing to show. All of our DHs were in kollel. I was making alot of money, while the max some were making was $20,000 a year, plus a kollel check that we werent eligible to recieve (it was income based ). So we saved money and we were able to buy a house really young. (now we are saving for retirement, my oldest is 12)

Everyone makes different decisions. Some people here dont want to feel sad or unloved when they sit down at the seder and other women are showing off their new bling,clothing,whatever. They instead have the understanding that they are the norm like most of us here and they shouldn't feel like they are lacking anything.

amother

Tue, Apr 08 2014, 11:39 pm

amother wrote:

There are also those who are not in kollel, not saving for a house or retirement, because that's their financial reality. No money for that, or for gifts either.
And there are those whose husbands can afford it just fine, but the marriage is shaky for whatever reason.
These threads don't serve a beneficial purpose.