Wearing "ethnic" clothing while being a guest

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amother

Tue, May 13 2014, 6:57 pm

Would you wear something visibly different than your hosts or other guests when being invited? How would you feel if someone came to your home with very different outfits? I'm not talking about different styles of hair covering. I have traditional Sephardic clothing that I wear at home on Shabbos. In my family, it is considered normal. It is perfectly modest in terms of style but really sticks out in terms of color. I'm wondering what conservative Ashkenazi people would think seeing me like this at their place, because when everybody wears a black outfit, it really attracts attention. Personally, I don't mind how people dress when they come at my place.

tigerwife

Tue, May 13 2014, 6:59 pm

What's the worst thing that can happen if you do wear it?
Most likely your hosts will find it fascinating... I highly doubt anyone would get offended.

Happy18

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:00 pm

Wear what makes you comfortable. As long as people are dressed tniusly I'm happy. Have had way too many shabbos guests who I wanted to offer a sweater to over the years.

yo'ma

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:04 pm

amother wrote:

I'm wondering what conservative Ashkenazi people would think seeing me like this at their place,

Personally, I don't mind how people dress when they come at my place.

You answered your own question. It's a personal thing. It has nothing to do with ashkenaz or sefard, it's each person.

MiracleMama

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:13 pm

Wouldn't bother me. Why should it?

blini

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:35 pm

Why would anyone mind? I'd like it. I might get some style tips. Smile

ElTam

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:36 pm

Wouldn't bother me. I get tired of white and black and black and black and more black. Oh, and sometimes grey.

Frumdoc

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:40 pm

Dress how you like in our home.

But if you are going to feel uncomfortable, wear something that makes you feel relaxed. It is about how you feel, not how they would feel (it may be about how they behave, though, and that is difficult to predict).

For my own comfort, I will wear toned down clothing and my sheital to some people who expect that, and I express that part of me, for others I will wear more modern clothes and a funky tichel. I am comfortable in both, but am a bit of a chameleon like that, and different clothes allow me to express different sides of myself.

Lady Godiva

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:42 pm

Does it look like a costume, or does it look like clothing?
I don't think that color would bother people.

imasinger

Tue, May 13 2014, 7:44 pm

I think it would be great.

Rubber Ducky

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:03 pm

Come on over!

sequoia

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:06 pm

Frumdoc wrote:

But many people never wear and don't own a sheitel.

SplitPea

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:08 pm

About the only places I try and dress like the community are places like Monroe etc where just about everyone dresses 100% the same. Other than that undress how I drrss

allrgymama

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:09 pm

I don't think it would bother me, but I might be curious and ask questions.

I only get bothered when people come dressed not tziniusdikly. DH has a sister who is OTD, but very spiritual. She came for Shabbos during the winter and I requested that she please dress appropriately. She didn't and I was (quietly) very upset.

zaq

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:16 pm

So long as you're not showing anything you shouldn't, why would I care? If you were Ashkenazi and wore a complete traditional Temani costume, I might snarkily think you were being rather too-too, though I wouldn't blink if you wore one element of the ethnic costume. If you're the real McCoy--make that the real Mizrachi--and this is your authentic native garb, who am I to object? I'd probably think it's fascinating and ask you to explain the various articles and history, meaning, and so on.

Did you say color? Yes! Please!

FranticFrummie

Tue, May 13 2014, 8:30 pm

You have to know your hosts. I was visiting some very dear friends in Beitar last month. They've known me for ages, and know that I love colorful clothing and funky jewelry.

When I went to them I packed lots of black, grey, and white clothing. They REALLY appreciated the effort I put in to respect their community standards. They wouldn't dream of asking me to, but the fact that I figured it out on my own and made the effort meant a lot to them.

I also packed bright colors for the rest of my trip, so I when I was up north I could feel more "myself".

pesek zman

Tue, May 13 2014, 9:03 pm

I'll admit that this question may sound ignorant, but as a NYer who lives among Ashkenaz Jews, I literally have no idea what you mean by traditional Sephardic dress, but would love to learn. Description or picture would be great

greenfire

Tue, May 13 2014, 9:12 pm

dress as yourself ... it's always best

Ruchel

Wed, May 14 2014, 1:39 pm

Sephardic traditional clothing, worn by my great grandmother zal and her sister (for the picture. Only the most most elderly and traditional still wore it in her times).

But things may be different in North Africa.

amother

Wed, May 14 2014, 2:36 pm

OP here. What a nice picture Ruchel! I'm going to try to answer all of you at once. By traditional Sephardic clothing, I meant more precisely what Moroccan women would wear at home nowadays on Shabbos. There is nothing specifically Jewish about it, like the black skirt is not a specific Jewish dress, but it is worn by Jewish women. Nowadays, only elderly women would wear such clothing but I think it is nice to keep traditions. It is hard to describe what it is exactly as there are different styles, like you would have a hard time to describe what frum women wear in Boro Park. But basically, it is long robes, often very colorful (most of the time a solid color) with specific embroidery designs, usually around the neck in at the hems. The designs can take the whole front of the robe. More traditional clothing (and much more elaborate) is worn for chasunas. Here is a classic design example http://www.yumuseum.org/index......um=5.
In don't think an embroidered pink robe is a costume. What is a costume anyway? Anything can be considered a costume. If you would spend Shabbos in Morocco with a shtreimel, people will definitely think it's a "costume".
People know me and know my background, so they wouldn't be surprised. But like another poster mentioned, I'm talking about going to places like Kiryas Yoel where everybody dresses the same and considers other styles as not tzniusdig. Maybe the hosts wouldn't mind, but maybe their other guests would, etc. So I think what I could do is show the hostess the particular garment before I wear it, and bring something else in case Smile

I would perfectly understand.
In general, I just wanted to know how you would react having a guest dressed really differently at your table, with every body part covered, of course.
Thank you for your replies!

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