Best Banana Slicer Ever!

mirror

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 4:34 pm

I could not stop laughing at the reviews:

http://www.amazon.com/Hutzler-.....licer

Read all the reviews. They are so funny.

Here is one:

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1,716 of 1,928 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing time saver, October 1, 2012
By M. Hughes (Winnebago, IL USA)

This is the greatest kitchen utensil ever! Can't believe how much time I used to waste with a ruler and pencil, marking my bananas to get those perfectly uniform slices. I was terrible at geometry and trigonometry so it was hard for me to get exact measurements on curved bananas with a straight ruler. Then I had to go back and remove the pencil marks after slicing. There was always that tiny eraser smudge on every slice. This wonderful gadget frees up much more time that can be spent marking my cantaloupes for perfect slices--and boy do I need all the help I can get. It's even harder to use my ruler to mark round fruit than curved fruit. Hutzler, you're the best. All my friends are getting one of these for x-mas.

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3,856 of 4,299 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Such a time saver, September 24, 2012
By lloydravn
No more throwing bananas at the ceiling fan for me! This product has saved me the work of peeling the banana slices off the wall after the fan slices them. Thanks, banana slicer!

ectomorph

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 4:44 pm

lol!

mirror

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 4:52 pm

ectomorph wrote:

lol!

Did you read the first 20 reviews? Me and my dh had a blast with them. Have you ever seen a product with 4,000 reviews?

The Happy Wife

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 4:57 pm

lol When I opened the thread I was really curious about who would need a banana slicer. The ole throw it at the ceiling fan trick always works for me! Wink

mommy#1

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:01 pm

1.0 out of 5 stars Misleading description......, June 25, 2014
By Robert M Brown - See all my reviews
This review is from: Hutzler 571 Banana Slicer (Kitchen)
Unfortunately I must give this product a poor rating. I'm sure it works very well when used as intended. When I ordered it I was expecting something else. Your description was VERY misleading!

Regards,
Rabbi Seth Robinowitz - Mohel

love this one!

mirror

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:01 pm

The questions and responses are interesting.

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Is there a metric version? My mom lives in Europe and I don't want to send her one that won't work in her country.
asked by J. Spitzer on December 21, 2012

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I don't believe it will work overseas. I have contacted the manufacturer and asked if they will make a version that will work in Europe and one that will work in Asia. Perhaps the 572 and 573 will do just that. Until then I am keeping my eyes "peeled" for an after-market adapter kit on ebay and etsy.
Ann Landers answered on December 22, 2012

sky

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:05 pm

Funny.

If I may add my own:

Haribo Teddy Bear, Lactose and Sugar Free
http://www.amazon.com/Haribo-G.....+free

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I love these little pieces of Joy, June 26, 2014
By
JC Gill - See all my reviews
Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Haribo Gummi Bears Sugar Free 5lb Bag (Grocery)
Once upon a time I was looking around online for the perfect wedding gift for my ex-fiance, one that a diet-conscientious person would love. I think this will express my feelings perfectly.

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1,272 of 1,478 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars I am so sorry Mrs. (teacher's name), January 9, 2014
By
Crystal Ewig - See all my reviews
This review is from: Haribo Gummi Bears Sugar Free 5lb Bag (Grocery)
Same story as all of the above only here is MY ending.
.....and I was never asked to send snacks to my daughter's class again.
Help other customers find the most helpful reviews

Quote:

13,740 of 14,565 people found the following review helpful
My Dinner With Andrea
By @StuPurdue on November 21, 2013
Size Name: 5 Pound Bag
I'm pretty sure Andrea (I'll call her) agreed to have dinner at my apartment only because I always spoke to her using nothing but my two-years-of-high-school German. Her English was perfect. Probably better than mine. But the fact that I could only ask her directions to the Autobahn or inquire about the health of her non-existent Tante Amelia, seemed to make me appealing to her in a sweet and non-threatening way.
My intentions, however, were considerably less child-like. Which is why the shopping that night was done at one of those upscale groceries with an international flair. Moules Marinieres is as much of a panty-peeler as anything I can cook, and isn't that hard to pull off. But still, I was busy tracking the recipe in my head when I found myself in the sweets aisle. And that, to my great chagrin, is why I didn't immediately notice the difference between Haribo Normal Gummi Bears (which are designed for human enjoyment) and Haribo Sugarless Gummi Bears (which are designed for use in maximum security prisons as a way to punish uncooperative inmates).
I shan't make that mistake again. (notice you can't spell SHAN'T without SHAT.)
Prior to Andrea's arrival, I sat in my living room, creating a playlist of make-out music and nervously binging on the Gummi Bears I had placed in a decorative bowl because I am fancy.
The doorbell rang, and within minutes we were standing in the kitchen, drinking beers and both of us probably worrying that we were about to exhaust my ability to communicate in her native tongue. But soon that would be the least of my worries. In the middle of trying to ask Andrea if she likes to dance to young people's music, I felt a flutter in my midsection, accompanied by a guttural pronouncement so loud it threatened to drown out my own voice.
Maybe it was because I was mentally refreshing my language lessons, but it suddenly struck me how much pre-diarrheal grumblings sound like German words.
"ENTSCHULDIGUNG!" was the next thing uttered by my rapidly clenching stomach. Appropriately, Andrea looked up in response.
"Sind Sie Kaffee machen?" she asked.
Am I making coffee?
I thought I must have mistranslated her at first, then finally I realized that yes, the loud, ominous gurgling coming from my gut could easily be mistaken for the percolating of some bachelor's crappy coffeemaker.
It's remarkable how quickly one knows that one is about to have a traumatic pottymaking experience. Maybe that's the body's way of buying you the precious seconds you need. I was already calculating the number of steps to the bathroom, speculating on whether I would have time to lift the lid to the toilet, when my own voice cried out loudly in my head.
She's going to hear EVERYTHING!
Thanks to an acoustical idiosyncrasy in my building, the hallway outside the bathroom works as an amplifier pointed straight at my living room-slash-kitchen. So that somehow even the gentlest tinkle sounds like I'm pouring lemonade out of a bucket.
With only half an idea of what I was doing, I grabbed Andrea's hand and pulled her roughly down onto my sofa. I must have looked like a madman as I booted up my iTunes playlist, plugged in the gigantic new headphones I had just bought to keep me looking young and hip, and clamped them down over her ears. (the sweat forming on my brow and upper lip couldn't have helped.) In response to her nervous expression, I kept shouting "You'll love this! You'll love this!"
I spun her around so that she was looking out the window. My "plan" was that she'd be so distracted by the modest 4th floor view, that it would allow me to pull my pants off while I sprinted down the hall, silently singing the praises of the noise-reducing quality of my new headphones. (this story will be reprinted in its entirety as a 5 star review on the Sony Beats Audio Amazon page.)
As I slammed the bathroom door shut, already half naked, it occurred to me that I had not been shouting "You'll love this!" at Andrea. I don't even know how to say that in German. In my desperation I had been saying "Ich Leibe Dich!" Repeatedly professing my love for her in a shaky and frantic voice. But maybe that was a good thing, because as I threw myself at the toilet, I figured the best I could hope for is that she would be so creeped-out that she would sneak out of the apartment, blissfully unaware of the carnage taking place in the next room.
What can I say about the ensuing white-knuckle bowel movement that hasn't been expressed in other reviews on this page? I'm pretty sure I haven't seen the adjective "Kafkaesque" used anywhere else.
By the end of Act One of this private little torture-[filth] movie, I was confessing to every unsolved crime in history. Praying I would stumble upon the one that would satisfy my invisible captors.
Quickly I realized that I had more than Andrea's sense of sound to worry about. Were she to get even the faintest whiff of the weapons-grade sluice that my backside was angrily shouting into the porcelain, I would have to change my name and move to another city.
And so I flushed. And flushed. And flushed and flushed.
And then I flushed and nothing happened.
I have never looked down into a broken toilet with more horror in my entire life. And I once stopped up George Clooney's crapper! (a true story for another time.)
I reached for the plunger, but my hand froze and my heart seized when I saw it on the floor, broken in two and covered in what looked like teeth marks. Apparently I had used the wooden handle to keep from biting my tongue off and had chewed clean through it. When did that happen? It seems my mind had already started the process of repressing this entire event.
Amid the feverish, fruitless dance I did across my tiny bathroom floor, it dawned on me that it had been more than a minute since my last soul-wrenching backside tantrum. Dear Lord, is it over? I asked, quite possibly aloud.
I may have been light-headed and delusional, but I began to imagine a non-ignominious resolution to this ordeal. I just needed to get her the hell out of here. If Andrea hadn't fled the building, vomiting in terror, then I supposed I could pull up my trousers and make a cavalier exit. As long as I could get her off premises and as far away from this post-apocalyptic commode as humanly possible. Assuming that the Diarrhistas had retreated to the hills temporarily, maybe I could even whisk Andrea away to a candlelight dinner at Bernardo's. How impulsive!
My first few steps back toward the living room were tentative. And not just because my sphincter felt raw and tattered. It was a slow approach to the Moment of Truth, especially when I saw her figure still planted on my sofa. I knew any look on Andrea's face other than her mouth agape would constitute a miraculous victory. And when she smiled at me, the wash of relief that engulfed me was more glorious than any throes of ecstasy I might have wished for at the beginning of the night.
And then I saw it.
The decorative bowl sitting in her lap. Down to just the last few sugarless Gummi bears.
"Du hast Haribo!" she said to me. Accompanied by a satisfied smile. A big, beaming Hansel and Gretel smile, that slightly turned down in one corner at the sound we both suddenly heard. A low rumble from deep within her GI tract that sounded like Gefahrrrrr.
The German word for Danger.
Her eyes shot past mine and refocused on the bathroom door just down the hall behind me.
256 Comments

Last edited by sky on Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:10 pm; edited 1 time in total

sky

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:09 pm

Book: Million-Random-Digits-Normal-Deviates

http://www.amazon.com/Million-.....iates

Quote:

2,737 of 2,826 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Sloppy. July 27, 2005
By McGroarty TOP 1000 REVIEWER
Format:Paperback
The book is a promising reference concept, but the execution is somewhat sloppy. Whatever generator they used was not fully tested. The bulk of each page seems random enough. However at the lower left and lower right of alternate pages, the number is found to increment directly.

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4.0 out of 5 stars almost perfect October 26, 2006
By a curious reader
Format:Paperback
Such a terrific reference work! But with so many terrific random digits, it's a shame they didn't sort them, to make it easier to find the one you're looking for.

Sherri

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:13 pm

Binders full of Women was a popular product due to this comment from Mitt Romney. Read the reviews. Smile

sky

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:14 pm

Uranium Ore

http://www.amazon.com/Images-S.....r=8-2

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1,470 of 1,550 people found the following review helpful
Read description carefully!
By Brett on January 25, 2014
This is NOT, repeat, NOT a woman from the Ukraine. Very disappointed but can only blame myself. Please read description when sober.
28 Comments

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8,204 of 8,555 people found the following review helpful
So glad I don't have to buy this from Libyans in parking lots at the mall anymore.

oliveoil

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:23 pm

http://www.food.com/recipe/ice-cubes-420398

mirror

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:28 pm

Sky, how did you find all these great products on Amazon?

sunshine!

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:32 pm

http://www.amazon.com/AMSCAN-F.....it_14

causemommysaid

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:34 pm

so so so funny.

humanity is hysterical

mirror

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:39 pm

Amazon Book: How to avoid Huge Ships

Review sample

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222 of 244 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The book was far to short for my liking, December 13, 2010
By J-S
This review is from: How to Avoid Huge Ships (Paperback)
I was very excited to find my copy of "How to avoid Huge Ships" in the mail three months ago. However, I was very disapointed regarding the length of this "book". The book begins with a lengthy forward as well as a dedication followed by only 2 chapters....Chapter 1. Turn Left-----And Chapter 2. Turn Right. While statistically accurate and fundamentally helpful, the two chapters really left me wanting more. I was very satisfied with the results of the book seeing as I have not had any encounters with huge ships since.

sky

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 5:42 pm

OPINIONATED wrote:

Sky, how did you find all these great products on Amazon?

The Haribo one is hilarious. People came up with some funny stories (or maybe I'm just really tired).

A while back I was exchanging these back and forth through e-mail with a friend of mine. I have some more:

AutoExec Wheelmate Steering Wheel Attachable Work Surface Tray
http://www.amazon.com/AutoExec.....t_top
you have to see the picture to believe it.

Quote:

8,324 of 8,471 people found the following review helpful
Makes a boring drive easier
By Michael McCollough on November 19, 2009
You wouldn't believe how much more interesting my commute is now that I have something to do other than just stare out the window! I'm using it right now to post this review and I never
67 Comments Was this review helpful to you? Yes No

book: The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China [Paperback]
http://www.amazon.com/2009-201.....China
List Price: $495.00
Price: $470.25 & FREE Shipping. Details
You Save: $24.75 (5%)

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742 of 765 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars WARNING - **NOT** a MicroSoft product!!!! November 30, 2010
By 5318008
Format:Digital
I was thinking, "Sweet! Finally a version of Outlook that will run on my wooden Chinese toilet seats!!" Little did I know this has **NOTHING** to do with Outlook for Windows or any other MicroSoft product. It is NOT a five-year wooden-toilet email/calendar software product, but is in fact some kind of WELL-DONE REPORT ON TOILET SEATS!! By coincidence still entirely useful to me in my line of business but now I will have to find some other way to coordinate my inter-seat schedules and emails!! Buyer beware!!
6 Comments |

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618 of 640 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This is weird January 12, 2010
By brutus
Format:Digital
This is so weird. My husband and I were just discussing the 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China the other day. Now today, here I am surfing Amazon and wouldn't you know it? The 2009-2014 outlook for wood toilet seats in greater China. I am so happy the price seems reasonable. I'm thinking Amazing Anniversary Present!!!!!!
7 Comments |

mirror

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 6:50 pm

Thanks, Sky.

Here is photo:

AutoExec Wheelmate Steering Wheel Attachable Work Surface Tray

Here is one review:

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336 of 370 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Poorly designed, October 30, 2010
By BClissold
This is the worst ironing board ever. Why would it not come with the cloth cover? There are scorch marks all over it, melted plastic everywhere and my clothes are tearing between the iron and the board. While I appreciated the time savings of ironing in the car, I don't appreciate having to buy the cover separately. Come on guys, don't try and nickle and dime us.

Here is Q & A:

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Is the AutoExec Wheelmate strong enough to hold up a microwave oven? I like to cook bacon for breakfast and this would save time on my commute.

I think so, as long as it's a small one that uses 12v DC power (if you need 120 ac you'll need a good long extension cord... probably about 20 miles worth.

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Is this product appropriate for the blind braille readers?
asked by Amy Alex on January 26, 2014

yes, but only on Southern California freeways, where:
1) blind drivers seem to proliferate
2) nothing could be done to lower the standard of driving for both blind or sighted drivers

I hope that helps.
J. Annis answered on January 27, 2014

Last edited by mirror on Wed, Jul 02 2014, 9:25 pm; edited 1 time in total

Blue jay

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 6:55 pm

I need to get me a banana slicer too!

Something else to wash!

Blue jay

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 6:57 pm

I liked the review that complained that the slicer did not work because her bananas face a different direction.

Rolling Laughter

Dovi'smom

Wed, Jul 02 2014, 7:12 pm

Oh my goodness! It's been a while since I laughed so hard!