School-less in Monsey

amother

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 8:47 am

I really recommend looking into ateres more. I know you say they are more to the left than u like. But to be honest they are not much more modern than ysv. And they are much more accepting of people in situations like urs. They are not judgemental and are less likely to give u a hard time.

amother

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 8:48 am

What op is describing is not the same situation as what is going on in Lakewood. Op is in a school she just doesn't want to listen to their rules. In Lakewood you can promise a school that u will go above and beyond to follow school rules or you are a great fit for that school and still you won't get in because someone with a better last name gets your slot..

Scrabble123

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 9:01 am

amother wrote:

1st of all: no one is saying the situation is the same as that in Lakewood

2nd: Many people in Monsey cannot enroll their children in pre school either. Even people who would be considered an appropriate fit.

3rd: To make a comment like "OP is in a school she just doesn't want to listen to their rules" shows that you have absolutely no idea what type of a situation she is in. I don't know her, but I know people in similar situations and it was impossible. It was much more than "I don't want to listen to their rules."

amother

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 11:33 am

amother wrote:

Chabad claims the class is full, with only 18 kids in the class, so who knows. If even chabad turned me down just because I will truly lose all faith.

Ateres is at the very bottom of my list, since it's more too the left than I am comfortable with. I am sending them an application anyway. Typical Monsey, my son's yeshiva will butt their noses in and probably tell me that if I want to keep my son in their yeshiva, I have to put my daughter somewhere else. Excuse my French, but this is such a f**ked up situation. I cannot believe these people are supposed to be educating our children.

I understand you are very upset. I have been there and done that. Yet, I don't feel comfortable with your choice of words (curse words). My friends who send to ateres would never speak or write this way even anonymously. I hope this will work out very soon for you, try to keep up a positive attitude for your poor daughter.

Scrabble123

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 12:15 pm

While I'm not approving cursing, I think that OP was using it as a way to express how fed up she is with the situation. I think that she is in terrible pain, and I even believe that she was saying if she would have foreseen this, maybe she would not have even stayed frum? The cursing also bothered me when I saw it, but I wasn't about to bring it up when OP is clearly in a lot of pain.

proudmother1

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 2:44 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I am sorry to stick my my nose in here, without all the facts
But you can curse and yet look your nose down on Hebrew academy .

Why don't you and your toilet mouth go to public school

You obviously have no idea what kind of pain OP is in.
But my question to you is: Why is your comment "Why don't you and your toilet mouth go to public school" any better than cursing? This exact concept: people always judging others in a negative light, while exhibiting the exact same behavior, is what created this atmosphere of "better than thou" in the school systems. This is also known as Sinas Chinum. And that is why we don't have a Bais Hamikdosh.
Not because of a wig that was 2 inches longer, not because of a blue shirt instead of white shirt, and not even for lack of wearing a black hat. But for the typical Sinas Chinum that you have exhibited here.

Barbara

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 3:54 pm

Chloe wrote:

It's not hard to see that the OP is in terrible pain, no need to judge her and add insult to her already painful situation. No need to take anything personally.

I don't think that its the cursing that upset the poster (cursing certainly doesn't bother me), but the whole "woe is me, how dare anyone expect me to send my precious child to THAT school." Especially when its likely that there are posters who send their own precious children to THAT school.

proudmother1

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 4:01 pm

amother wrote:

Hello - Amother = Anonymous poster:
Let's take apart your self-riteous comment:

I have been there and done that. Yet, I don't feel comfortable with your choice of words (curse words). It's OK when I do it, but you? no. I'm not comfortable with yours.

My friends who send to ateres would never speak or write this way even anonymously. Not only am I better than thou, but even my friends are. That is how good I am.

I hope this will work out very soon for you, try to keep up a positive attitude for your poor daughter After you judge and insult, she doesn't care for your dishonest chizuk.

I heard something funny the other day, but oh so powerful.
"Don't judge me just because I sin differently than you"

OP is in terrible pain. She needs your hugs, encouragement, help, chizuk. Not your judgement and discussions about her slip up.

fmt4

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 4:35 pm

I think what amother is saying is that the OP implied that she is too good for ateres and it is her last resort. Meanwhile she is using the eff word, which is something most ateres mothers wouldn't do, even if they were very upset.

naturalmom5

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 5:04 pm

fmt4 wrote:

BINGO .......

If Hebrew Academy n city, is what used to be Ashar on high view , my husband has many friends from there and I was there many times .
They are all lovely sincere people . I don't know what cursing mother's problem is .

nylon

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 6:29 pm

OP didn't seem to be cursing at Ateres or Hebrew Academy. I read her post as cursing at a system that would then have her son's yeshiva kick HIM out because she had to move her daughter.

Now, maybe she has to accept that the world isn't exactly as she would like it and she may have to go to a school that is "too left". But I've seen far more condescending things said about schools on this site. I have no idea what "too out there" (Hebrew Academy) means in this context.

And, it's condescending in itself to say that if the RW schools have said no, that she has to accept a school as last resort, instead of encouraging her to think of a more left wing school as the best option in itself.

amother

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 6:59 pm

I don't understand. How could a child be a "drop out" in first grade? When you said Chofetz Chaim, did you mean the one in Pomona? Because I sent my daughter there and they seemed pretty open and accepting (as long as you were paying full tuition and not looking for assistance).

amother

Mon, Aug 25 2014, 9:36 pm

Hi op
Call ysv and ask them if they made the class list yet. that is how I got my DC in for 1st grade. His old school recommended the change, but ysv said they had no room. I called rabbi frankl almost daily.

Its so sad in Monsey.there are to many kids in PS from frum homes due to lack of funds or an appropriate school. For some Ashar or chabad in new city might be An option, but the tuition is way more than bais Dovid or bas mikra, but they don't fit in there.

amother

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:16 pm

amother wrote:

Why don't you toe the line the school wants for now? Any school will contact the prior school and no one wants another school's problems. I would tell them that you are conforming. Then switch when you are in good standing instead of bad standing.

Sorry, but it sounds like lots of you have no idea of what goes on in Monsey with the schools. Every one of them picks and chooses, and while I may be too chassidish for Bas Mikroh, I am still too modern for Bais Shifra Miriam and Bais Rochel.

Amother who keeps urging me to look into the New City school, you're very sweet, but it's a huge jump to send kids to a co-ed school. My son is settled and happy in his litvish yeshiva, I'm not taking him out.

I do appreciate all the suggestions, and I want to thank everyone for listening to my rant. Miracle of miracles, we got into a school. I'd rather not say which one, as I'd be outing myself to certain people on this board who know me but didn't know what I've been going through.

amother

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:18 pm

amother wrote:

Please, I followed all their rules to the letter. To the point where my daughter was complaining that 'everyone' does it but I didn't allow it. They accused us of a lot of things which weren't true, and just made our lives miserable in general.

amother

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:22 pm

naturalmom5 wrote:

I am sorry to stick my my nose in here, without all the facts
But you can curse and yet look your nose down on Hebrew academy .

Why don't you and your toilet mouth go to public school

Why don't you first be in my situation, and then we'll talk. It's always easier to be the holier than thou from a high horse than down on the ground.

Nowhere did I say I look down on Hebrew Academy - it's an excellent school, and I'm sure the parents and children are very nice, but I'm not changing my whole way of life to send to a co-ed school, as great as the school is. Sorry.

amother

Tue, Aug 26 2014, 9:27 pm

[quote="nylon"]OP didn't seem to be cursing at Ateres or Hebrew Academy. I read her post as cursing at a system that would then have her son's yeshiva kick HIM out because she had to move her daughter.

Now, maybe she has to accept that the world isn't exactly as she would like it and she may have to go to a school that is "too left". But I've seen far more condescending things said about schools on this site. I have no idea what "too out there" (Hebrew Academy) means in this context.

And, it's condescending in itself to say that if the RW schools have said no, that she has to accept a school as last resort, instead of encouraging her to think of a more left wing school as the best option in itself.[/quote]

THANK YOU!!!!!! Where can I learn to be as eloquent as this?? There are very many fine schools in Monsey. I know there are. But unless I want to have to look for a school for my son as well, yes, New City is way too out there for us. If I was considering Bas Mikroh, then New City is way too out there. And I don't mean that in a bad way. It's way way way too the left, and no, I shouldn't have to settle for a school that is less frum than we are as a last resort. THAT is my beef with Monsey.