boys elementary school in lakewood or surrounding area

mommyla

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 8:12 pm

amother wrote:

Well sadly that's the truth in lakewood noone gets in for their own worth and anyone who pretends to is lying

I wasn't bragging I was proving that I don't care for a new school.

That is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard. I got in on my own worth. No begging. No protekzia. No "last name." No bribing. And no waiting - we got in immediately. Great, established school, one of our first choices. I know I'm lucky. Now does that mean that I'm lying?

You don't need to "care for" a new school, but don't make people who send to these schools feel inferior. (Again, I don't send to Ohr Yehuda, but I did apply there and would've been thrilled to send there.)

Shame on you. You're perpetuating everything that's wrong with the Lakewood school admission system.

amother

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 9:57 pm

As a parent in Ohr Yehuda I find your comments ridiculous! I was actually extremely impressed with the English and Hebrew departments. Their English teachers come from the Cheder and have been teaching for a long time. They have an extremely well rounded English department. The Rebbeim and Morahs are constantly in touch with parents. And I constantly get comments of "How did you get in". It's good that you as a parent who doesn't send there knows that their education is not up to the level of your "top notch" schools.

amother

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 10:06 pm

In an old established school in Lakewood they get about 200 applications for maybe five slots. The demand is a lot higher than the slot. If someone doesn't call for an applicant the schools don't even look at applications and if you are telling me that from from the five openings they had they picked you I would find it very hard to believe. There are so many people with pull that by default the schools don't even look at applications so no an old established school does not just accept someone because they applied because they have not enough slots for te people that they need to take.

So if you are saying that you got into an old established school just by applying I don't believe you.

amother

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 10:11 pm

As a parent in Ohr yehudah if like to set the record straight. Brand names aside, this school is what a school should be, and more. It is built on the foundation of darchei, and holds values like derech eretz, mentchlichkeit, loving every Jew as a brother etc in the highest regard. In addition, the education, both in Judaic, extra curricular as well as secular studies is on a very high level, by any standard. The teachers and rebbeim are top of the line professionals with years of experience. Rabbi Yaakov Bender is extremely involved in the school and rabbi strickman from darchei is there on a regular basis to oversee the curriculum. My son has learn such an amazing amount of information in such a well structured way. The school also has bunnies, and birds (including a macaw!!) for the boys to care for. The have an enrichment program from second grade up for the brighter boys to keep them stimulated. Need I say more?

mommyla

Wed, Oct 01 2014, 10:36 pm

So you're accusing me of lying. Beautiful! In the aseres yimei teshuva, too. Why would I lie? What would that do for me? Feel free to PM me and I'll give you my details if you need proof. This is just getting crazier.

Oh, and Mrs. Top School - just by the way, I have a friend who has the name, who has the big bucks, who has the pull. Guess where she applied? Ohr Yehuda! And guess where she ended up sending? My school!

(Must resist urge to stick out my tongue and say "SO THERE!")

I have a funny feeling I know which schools you send to. I have an even funnier feeling that I may know you (unless there's more than one of you, which is just frightening). This is why the school system is screwed up, and why it gets an even worse rap than it really deserves - because of people like you.

amother

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 2:37 am

First of all you don't know me. Second of all if you know the inner workings of the established schools you will know that an application means nothing because they are overwhelmed with phone calls that they don't even look at applications because they don't have slots for them so it's not possible.

Unless you are talking about a newer school or a person called for you that you don't even know.

But it's not possible that you got into an old established school that has no slots available without even one person making a phone call for you.

It could be that someone who knows you called for you and pushed for you and you don't even know about it. I have seen that happen before and the person going around I just got in with no pull.

amother

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 2:42 am

Again I'm not bragging nor do I care to I was just bringing a point that I don't have an axe to grind that I have nothing against rabbi benders school it's just not for me.

No one believed me until I wrote that I was already in another top school.

And yes there are people who purposely will choose a school with a lower level of education because that is what their child can handle, so saying I know a wealthy person who wanted this school means nothing because maybe that person knows a lower level is good for their child and there is nothing wrong with that.

Not every school had to be on a high level and a school can be an amazing school without having high academics.

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 10:31 am

glutenless wrote:

You know "top" amother, what's a top school to you is not necessarily a top school to someone else. Neither is an old established school necessarily a top school.
Also, your name means nothing, it's who you are that really means something in this world. I'm so happy you married a guy with a name that impresses you, but that really doesn't say anything about who you really are.

This.

It amuses me (in a Exploding anger

sort of way, totally not nice of me - and before Y"K too!) when I meet someone who goes on and on about how fabulous their kids' school is.... of course with the underlying presumption of how fabulous they are having gotten in there.....they don't realize that the rest of us are NOT drooling.

Years ago I hosted my neighbor's simcha guests for Shabbos...this woman was going on and on about the school her kids were in, the people who know her who got her in there, and how superior she is for being there. It was just nauseous.

mommyla

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 12:14 pm

Darling.

I got into my school with no pull. I don't know anyone who has clout in the schools. Unless some random anonymous stranger WHO I DON'T EVEN KNOW decided they liked the way I looked, found out where I applied to school, and called the school to get me in, nobody called for me. I am not anyone well-known in Lakewood, nor do I know anyone well-known in Lakewood. I had no ties to the school. No relatives to vouch for me.

Seriously. I had (minor) pull in a different school and didn't get in.

Sorry if that gives you a complex because you know that you only got into school because of your "name." Some of us really do get in on our own merit. Does that make you feel inferior, because you know there's no way you would've gotten in on your own merit?

And keep in mind, before you put down all new schools, that your top schools were once new schools too (unless you send to the Cheder and Bais Faiga, which I am assuming you do not). Give the schools a chance.

What makes you so sure I don't know you? Are you lying about yourself?

21young

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 12:22 pm

'Top school amother', it seems that you have arranged the schools into a hierarchy, and that is the way it must be, because you said so. As others said, not every top school is really tops, so get off your high horse.
Case in point: my cousin is married into an old Lakewood family that is very chashuv. All the children in the family send to school A, considered an old, 'top' school that has no slots, so she also must send there. She hates the place. She says that they are outdated, there is no communication with the parents, they don't even have PTA! They can get away with not improving because they have a name as the old, 'top' school. Guess what, it's not so 'top'.

debsey

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 3:22 pm

It's not about "top schools" and not "top schools"

Picking a school should be about what's best for the CHILD. The fact that there's this social pressure to send to "designer schools" and that it is looked at as a reflection on the parents, which school they get into - like you're getting a grade - you are in this school, you are an "aleph-aleph" This school? Only a "Baiz +" or whatever.

It's sad that this amother is voicing what is the zeitgeist to a certain extent - that somehow, we're graded or competing about which school we get into. That's a LOT of pressure to put on a 5 or 14 year old's back!!!

R' Aisenstark said it best a while ago in Mishpacha - "used to be, schools prided themselves on the people they put OUT. Now, they pride themselves on who they take IN" How sad. How true.

"top school" amother, I am not criticizing you. I hope you mochel me if I've hurt you. I'm just pointing towards a pattern that we all need to search our hearts for and eradicate.

Debsey

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 3:50 pm

Debsey, if it were about the individual child, then it would follow that we wouldn't necessarily send all of our children to the same school.

But that's very difficult - and not just in Lakewood. I didn't grow up in Lakewood, and it was "all of them or none of them" where I grew up. Chanoch L'naar Al Pi Darko goes out the window.

So what happens is that parents choose a school that fits their families' Hashkafa. Because their children will all go there, and they cannot focus on the individual.

I remember looking into a certain school for my oldest DD, and it was a school with very high academics. My friend said to me - what if not all your children can handle that standard? And you might have to send them all. I saw her point and decided to send to a school that can cater to different types. I'm glad to have had her advice, as I've heard some kids going thru that system get really burnt out.

But anyway....that's where you start getting into this mindset - my whole family will be judged as good enough or not, based on the school we get into.

debsey

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 4:14 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I absolutely WISH the system wouldn't work that way - that you basically pick a school for all your kids (even the as-yet unborn ones) I actually made the exact opposite decision from you - for the same reason. I sent to a school with a high academic standard, because I know that I'm intellectual, and if I'm bored in school, I don't do well. It's like I can be interested and get straight As, or be bored and get straight Fs. So I thought my kids might have the same experience, and it worked out well. But I'll tell you - now that I'm older, if I had a younger kid who wouldn't fit - I'd switch that child.

But exactly - you pick a school that works with your family's hashkafah, that the stance towards academics and individual attention best matches with your own, and that has a crowd you are comfortable with.

I personally did that - I was accepted to one of the "top" schools and was also accepted into another school that I liked better. I sent to the school I liked better. People told me I was CRAZY for doing that. My MIL was angry with me (not very, she got over it!) but I can't raise my children based on focus group research, if you know what I mean. Just cuz all the mommies on the street corner don't get why I made a certain decision doesn't matter.

Many years later, I am very happy with the decision I made. I'm not saying the other school isn't good - I think they deserve their reputation - but for my kids, the other school was a perfect fit. But if I was only thinking of what people will say - I would have gone to the school I was accepted to first, the so-called "top" one.

Notsobusy

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 4:19 pm

Chayalle wrote:

Your whole post was very true. I sent my daughter to the only high school that worked for her, even though I know for my next daughter it's not the best option. But my second dd will do fine in that school, although she's not happy to go there. For the first dd, there was no choice.
As far as this "my whole family will be judged as good enough or not, based on the school we get into" b"h most people are not judging you based on what school your kids are in. The schools are really not that different from each other. There is a small minority who really cares what school someone else's kids are in and which school is the "top". Most of us just want what we think is best for our family and we understand that other people are like that too.

Chayalle

Thu, Oct 02 2014, 4:25 pm

glutenless wrote:

More than one person came over to my DH and said they were "surprised" by our choice of hs for DD. What was that, if not judging?

And like you, I sent her to a high school that works for her, and it might not be the choice we would've chosen for our next DD, but she's easygoing and will do fine too. I've come to really appreciate the school, too, so I'm at peace with this. They are really master mechanchim.

What's hard for my girls is the whole social breakup, too. But B"H they do move on and adjust.