What nice things do you do for your kids?

myself

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:20 am

Obviously I'm not talking about the usuals. I'm talking about the extras that you do just because.

If you spend time alone with them everyday - what special things have you done in that time?
If you take them out for trips just with Mummy - where do you go?

What other extra things do you do for/with your kids?

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:33 am

Well I don't know if this helps you since my kids are 2 yrs and 2 months so I'm speaking of a toddler and obviously I do everything for him. One thing we do together is sit on the floor and coot and put stickers on papers. We also go to the park etc. I doubt that helps you since its so obvious.

yo'ma

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:37 am

Anything I do for my children, whether it's reading to or with them or singing to or with them or taking a walk with them or shopping just with them or taking them to the park, etc.., I consider them the usuals. That's all part of being a mom, nothing special, IMO.

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:41 am

I don't yet have my own children, but I was very involved in the lives of my friend's children. I did very much for them, but would consider the special things not really spending time with each individually or waking up an hour earlier to make them a yummy breakfast, but going out of my way to touch them: give them a pat on the back or a pinch on the cheek. That's really not my nature, so every time I did it I was doing it just for the child.

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:51 am

I have a 4.5 year old dd who is awake for an hour after her younger siblings.

we color together (she tells me which sections should be which colors)
string necklaces
bake
role play (to teach and work on social skills and behaviors.) she LOVES this

heidi

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 10:55 am

One of my children can be described as more "challenging" than the rest. Nothing major B"H but a combination of ADD and a personality that is very "high maintenance". One thing I do for him is make sure to give him a huge smile, hug and greeting when he comes home from school. To show him that I'm really happy to see him. Even when I'm really not looking forward to the homework or other challenges that lie ahead.

yo'ma

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 11:11 am

amother wrote:

That's really not my nature, so every time I did it I was doing it just for the child.

heidi wrote:

Even when I'm really not looking forward to the homework or other challenges that lie ahead.

That's what make it not usual, what's difficult for you and not the norm for you. Being a mother is doing things for your child, but the extra stuff is when it's not you. For example, I have no problem doing projects with my children. I enjoy doing them. My sister, on the other hand, it's not her thing. If she did, her kids would be in awe Very Happy

tulip4u

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 11:13 am

I love giving them individual time. We call it "special time". Either for an ice cream, just one at a time to grocery shop, a spin in the car to talk. At times, its even just sitting on the couch and talking.

When getting a treat out of the blue, I say I got this just cuz I love you.

For me, at busy times, its not the amount of time spent, but the love that comes thru: a spontaneous hug, smile etc.

Keep the tips coming. I love this!!

myself

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 11:31 am

yo'ma wrote:

I agree. I do things like reading, baking, singing etc. too. It's just interesting to hear what others do. It's always nice to get new ideas. Very Happy

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 11:35 am

not proud of this. my 23 year old son still lives at home
he makes a long grocery list and I buy him all the food he likes .

he is treated like a king and does nothing around the house
he cause trouble between me and my dh

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 11:39 am

when my daughter comes home for a visit I make a huge -sign welcome home=

and I buy her a welcome home balloon .
we bring it to the airport .

Blue jay

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 12:00 pm

Read to them before bedtime. Relaxing for all of us! Smile

Even after a crazy and hectic day, I try to read to my kids. Lots of good snuggling on the couch, while we read together!

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 12:14 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you for this, I needed to see this as a reminder for myself. I too do not have this nature and while my toddler gets the extra touch and bonding time with me because she is still nursing, my older one does not, an do need to consciously reach out to her more in this way.
Thank you again for your wonderful insight and reminded.

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 1:22 pm

My mother was not very affectionate growing up. She was and is a good mother but was lacking in the "making her kids feel special thing".

It really hurt me when I saw mothers and daughters with such close bonds. When I read about the poster who buys her daughter a balloon at the airport, it hurt me, cos those are the types of things I missed.

I am therefore the opposite, I am extremely affectionate and demonstrative and heap on the compliments(another thing my mother couldn't do) My children are not spoiled physically, but are most definitely spoiled emotionally. There are certain things I take extra effort with, like birthdays. I just want my kids to feel special.

I sometimes get jealous of my kids(k, not really, but you know...) because they have something I never had.

(I still shout and scream and lose my cool sometimes.)

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 1:28 pm

amother wrote:

It really hurt me when I saw mothers and daughters with such close bonds. When I read about the poster who buys her daughter a balloon at the airport, it hurt me, cos those are the types of things I missed.

I'm sorry that this hurt you, but buying a balloon is really not the norm. I guess it just bothers you because you were missing that affection and attention in other ways, but in general, parents who do not buy balloons for their children can still be great parents! Hug

My parents didn't buy me balloons either, and I probably would not do it for my children, unless there was a specific reason such as the child needs to have love expressed more than another or asked for a balloon.

Dev80

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 1:41 pm

I have young kids but I try to buy small things just b/c, not in a spoiled way that they should have whatever they want, more that they know when I went to this and this place I thought of them, or b/c they've been acting so nicely (or keeping underwear nice and dry!) then I wanted to get them something to say I'm so proud.

I also find that they really treasure when I sit on the floor and play with them (which I don't do often enough...)

But....I have a LOT to work on b/c I also totally lose my cool and want to give my kids away sometimes so I want tips from this thread (although maybe I need the thread about people's secrets to staying calm Smile

)

citimom

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 1:42 pm

Nice things for them? Other than smile and hug them in the morning, make them something they like for breakfast, lunch and supper, help with HW, listen about their day, tuck them into bed and on and on....???
If you're giving lovingly throughout the day, the 20% that you yell or lose it won't break them. Obviously you mean additional things. I let each child take a day or two (depends on kid) off from school a year and do something fun with them. Also take a child to grocery with me in the Evenings if I need to go.

MamaBear

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 1:45 pm

heidi wrote:

Oh this is so me. If I catch him before his mood changes, and really put in 1000% effort, sometimes I can "save" the afternoon.

Parenting can be so hard. On bad days, it can feel like total failure.

amother

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 1:46 pm

[quote="amother"]I'm sorry that this hurt you, but buying a balloon is really not the norm. I guess it just bothers you because you were missing that affection and attention in other ways, but in general, parents who do not buy balloons for their children can still be great parents! Hug

I am the above poster. Its not specifically the balloon but an action that involves thought and love for your child. I know my mother loves me, but it was hardly shown.

You sound like a wonderful, in-tune mother!

greenfire

Tue, Nov 04 2014, 2:40 pm

the balloon story struck a chord

I recall being on a camp trip & one of my friends bought me a balloon [hiya jill Wave

]

I cried because it made me feel 'special', something we all long for especially from our mothers