French Kids Eat Everything

amother

Mon, Feb 16 2015, 3:48 pm

Yes, well, my mom did everything right food-wise. Served balanced meals to the best of her ability, didn't force-feed, gave sweet treats reasonably often, sent us to school with an apple or an orange for snack, no foods forbidden unless they were tref, and guess what? I was born with a sweet tooth and a weight problem and I remained with both, perfectly capable at age three or four of polishing off a whole box of Barton's bonbonniere in one day if given a chance. My sister was born with neither and remained with neither. Same home, parents, school lunches and family dinner table. It's a craps shoot any way you play the game. Do what makes sense to you but don't go crazy and don't take credit for your kids' good or blame for your kids' bad eating habits. Try though you might to modify them, they will be what they will be.

amother

Mon, Feb 16 2015, 6:58 pm

these threads (especially about how French kids are the best) makes me feel like the worst mother. ( I read all those books)

My kids literally eat noodles and cheese every night. (and no, its not whole wheat) and sometimes they eat chicken nuggets.
I stopped bothering offering our supper (bad parent) I stopped asking what they like (horrible parent) I stopped going shopping with them (worst parent) because I was going crazy at the fighting and forcing. It was getting pointless.

Like everyone said, they used to be much better. I used to be able to say the rule was you need to "try" something be4 saying no, that wen't out the window. They used to eat whatever I made for everyone...
uch.
I'm just hoping they will all grow out of it. and be normal adults who don't only eat noodles and cheese.

saw50st8

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 8:22 am

Barbara wrote:

Wait a few years, and it will change again.

There are foods I simply won't eat (lamb of any kind, chicken wings, chicken breasts with bones). On the rare occasion I cook them, I make sure that there is another alternative for me, usually leftovers.

I really don't understand why our children are not entitled to the same respect with regards to food choices. That doesn't mean that they get mac and cheese from a box every night. It means that when DS said that the smell of tuna made him sick, and he couldn't be in the same room with it, I respected that the smell of tuna made him sick, and didn't shove it on his plate and say "eat it or eat around it." And that if I make a meal that I know he dislikes, I ensure there is an alternative for him.

There's a big difference between there are 1-2 things I really don't like vs get everything healthy away from me.

I realize my kids are much younger than yours, but I have found that constant exposure to different things help them acclimate. My kids don't have big sensory issues (I wouldn't force a sensory child to eat something because it's a medical condition), but I do require my kids to try everything I serve, even if they didn't like it last time. There are plenty of things they will eat now that they didn't like when they started.

I neither have the time nor the inclination to prepare multiple meals, even allow them to make a sandwich. That still requires me to go get the bread from the downstairs freezer, help them spread whatever it is (my oldest is 7 and doesn't spread effectively) and then have a cleanup to do. It's not a lot of work, but I'm busy enough. Also, allowing one to eat something different cascades into the others wanted the different food as it's usually more child friendly. I also try to make different dishes (such as a protein, a totally separate carb and a totally separate vegetable) so that if they don't like one, it's not a problem; there are other dishes they can eat.

My kids are on school lunch, which is very child friendly. They eat a lot at school lunch, which I consider their big meal of the day. Rarely, one of my kids will choose not to eat dinner.

What will I do when they are teenagers? If they want to cook dinner, they can make dinner for the whole family as long as it's well balanced.

imaima

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 8:44 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

Why is it a fight? And where does bad mother come into the picture. It's just two different styles of individuals.

"Tonight we are eating stir fried soup. You must sit at the table during supper time. You don't have to eat it, but I cannot serve you anything else because this is what I cooked. I hope you'll like tomorrow's supper more. I also have desert (which can even be orange juice or something better like ice cream), but I cannot serve you desert unless you eat a decent amount of supper (and I'm still not forcing you to eat it)." I don't believe in forcing children to eat things that they do not like. Usually a full meal will have something a kid will eat, and if it doesn't, well then he'll be just fine until breakfast time. As I said, if it is something extreme that is constant, then it needs to be addressed differently and possibly with a professional.

Well, real life children don't work like that.
They go hungry, start snacking at bedtime, or wake up at 3 am because they are hungry and stay awake for 2 hours, and you as a mother ask yourself, why exactly am I so strict with this supper thing? Scratching Head

Scrabble123

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 9:40 am

imaima wrote:

I know people who use this method and I definitely did when I was involved with my friend's children. There was the occasional exception, but other than that it worked perfectly well. I never experienced a kid waking up at 3 am because they are hungry, but at that point, I think it's pretty easy to explain that we don't eat or come out of rooms in the middle of night and that the child should return to sleep and that she will have breakfast in the morning. I'm sure that the kid is tired enough and will fall asleep. My friend's children definitely woke up a lot during the night. So real life children do work like that, just maybe not in the real life you have created. And that is fine.

Scrabble123

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 9:55 am

gp2.0 wrote:

What is the big deal about making a kid a grilled cheese sandwich if she doesn't like dinner? It takes 5 minutes. 5 minutes and she's happy and well fed. I don't get it. Why the resistance?

There's no resistance. Not everything has resistance. It's just very calm, very relaxed. Oh, you didn't eat any supper. Alright, I hope that you'll eat tomorrow's. I said before that if a big kid goes and makes food themselves there is no reason to fight over it, but you don't have to be involved with it. They are old enough to make that decision.

Last edited by Scrabble123 on Tue, Feb 17 2015, 9:55 am; edited 1 time in total

gp2.0

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 10:09 am

I prefer my DD to eat rather than go to bed hungry. Which she will, if she doesn't like the food for whatever reason. Little Kids can't make the connection like we can. She will get high-strung from hunger. Her head and stomach will hurt and she won't know why. She'll throw tantrums and cry over little things. Like another mother said, she won't sleep well. Not because she's aware of it, but because her mother is making her fast for no good reason. Um, no thank you.

Maybe it's obvious to me because I have very clear memories of being so disgusted by chicken, it made me gag. I spent years living off grilled cheese and tuna sandwiches, and I was at my thinnest and healthiest then because I got more exercise than I do now.

It is an outdated idea that people have to eat a specific amount of nutrition at each meal. It's ok to ballpark it. For example if she chooses to do so, she can have just pickles for dinner if she had sufficient protein and fat at a different meal throughout the day.

Scrabble123

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 10:12 am

gp2.0 wrote:

That's perfectly ok too.
Listen, if a parent knows that their child doesn't like chicken, they should prepare a side that their child will eat. But it doesn't mean that I won't put the chicken in the plate anyways, but they won't be forced or coerced into eating it. I wouldn't however serve chicken only to be told that the kid wants a grilled cheese instead and go along with that. No way. And if the kid is stuck on that grilled cheese and didn't get to eat the perfectly acceptable side, then yes, I'm ok with putting the child to sleep. It's a natural consequence. It's fair. And it really should not be happening that often, if ever.

southernbubby

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 10:18 am

gp2.0 wrote:

A person may get sufficient nutrition over the course of days or weeks but my kids gained lots of weight on grilled cheese so I guess that I regard it as weight gaining food. It is also true that although each specific meal does not have to have the entire spectrum of nutrients, however, if a person's total diet is lacking in nutrients, it will show up in the person's health over time. When I was growing up, convenience foods were the rage and Fritos were advertised as a side dish for lunch. Sugar Pops was a cereal that was low in protein and fiber and sprayed with vitamins so that it would sell as an alternative to a breakfast that needed to be cooked, such as oatmeal. Mothers stopped cooking and bought supper at MacDonalds and served Campbells soup with salami sandwiches on white bread for supper. While no one died of starvation, rickets, scurvy, or any other nutritional deficiency, our overall health might have been better had we been given home cooked meals. Of course to some, home cooked meals meant fried chicken with mashed potatoes smothered in gravy. Some of the most unhealthy people came from homes where the mom was a good cook! Few people then understood what good nutrition really was.

saw50st8

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 10:42 am

gp2.0 wrote:

What is the big deal about making a kid a grilled cheese sandwich if she doesn't like dinner? It takes 5 minutes. 5 minutes and she's happy and well fed. I don't get it. Why the resistance?

I wake up at 4:30 in the morning. I come home with the kids at 5:30. I've already had a long day, so making an extra dinner on top of the one I already prepared is a big deal. Especially because I have 4 who will want the "other" meal. When my kids are hungry, they will eat what is available. Not every meal is going to be something they love; sometimes a meal is just about nutrition.

Do you have sensory issues? Most people can eat a meal they don't like without any major gagging.

I have one child who throws a tantrum 80% of the nights because I didn't serve mac and cheese. I serve it about once a week and he gets it at lunch at least once a week. It's not particularly healthy and it's ok to have other meals. When he tries what I make, he often likes it. I know he is sensitive to spice, so I make things more bland to accommodate him and serve pepper to my other son who likes spice.

If my kids had their way, their diet would be filled with chicken nuggets, noodles and pizza. That's not good parenting. That's neglectful parenting if you are only doing it to avoid fights all the time.

imaima

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 11:19 am

Scrabble123 wrote:

The kid are not that tired any more at 3 am. Well when I am pregnant and hungry in the middle of the night, nothing will help me until I eat.

This system might work for someone with one child, but if you take multiple children, waking up for several reasons (bed-wetting anyone?), cramped living conditions where everyone wakes up when one persona wakes up, then you have to really pick your battles

Scrabble123

Tue, Feb 17 2015, 11:32 am

imaima wrote:

I'm not referring to one child, and I don't think it's a battle at all. There is no fighting, it's just schedule. It's routine. It is the way it is. Just like your kids are not going to ask you to go swimming in the middle of the night.......