What to wear to a Wedding

mommygmer

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 1:42 pm

Or just not go and then I wont feel stupid.

why would I invest in a dress. I'm past friends getting married and to early for there kids to get married (this one is an older friend of mine).

How many 30 years olds go to weddings every night.

greenfire

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 1:45 pm

mommygmer wrote:

that's a ridiculous statement ... especially of an older friend [imagine if everyone makes the same statement and then nobody goes to משמח הקלה ]

there is no need to feel stupid at all - just wear what you have - no monies spent

youngishbear

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 1:47 pm

rainbow dash wrote:

I went to a second hand store and found a nice dress. It is black on the top and gold on the bottom. I went and brought fancy costume jewelry that doesnt look cheap.
This is my dress

Please let's not break the internet again over a dress but I do not see gold anywhere on this dress.

Wink

But at least this is a pretty dress.

youngishbear

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 1:49 pm

mommygmer wrote:

I've been to weddings where people wore black knit sweaters with shabbos jewelry and heels.

What do you wear shabbos? Why won't that work?

Barbara

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 2:20 pm

mommygmer wrote:

Look, do what you want.

You asked what people wear to weddings, I gave you a few examples. You want to wear something else, wear it. You want to wear a plain black skirt and a tee shirt, no one is going to stop you at the door.

You want to sit at home from now until your friends' kids start getting married, declining every invitation to a wedding or a fancy bar mitzvah, or other event, that's certainly your choice. But its a silly one. Go. Enjoy. No one cares what you wear.

mille

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 2:26 pm

mommygmer wrote:

So that is what people are wearing. Gosh I am so not going. I have no money to go shopping and don't own anything like that. And to fat to look good in those right now. (oh I used to be so think could have so pulled it off)

I got skirts and tops with shells.

I am guessing that your friend would rather you come in a less formal outfit than not come at all because you don't have anything "nice enough" to wear! Wear your nicest skirt and top that isn't too loud (or all white Tongue Out

), wear a nice necklace and heels, and it'll be just fine.

To be honest, I have zero recollection what any of our parents' friends wore to my wedding. It wasn't even all that long ago, but honestly, none. Don't worry about it too much!

Lady Godiva

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 2:29 pm

mommygmer wrote:

First of all, I agree with what others have said; wear what you have. Secondly, you sound really silly threatening that you won't go.
You don't HAVE to wear what others would wear. You got some suggestions. You don't want to invest in a new dress/outfit, so wear something that you find in your closet.
I'm getting a vibe that you're unhappy with your size. Find something flattering to wear to this wedding and then work on trying to get to a place where you feel happier with yourself and not fearful that you won't look good enough.

Dolly Welsh

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 2:49 pm

greenfire wrote:

the best thing we did by my daughter's wedding is not care what anybody wore - even close family ... so everybody was happy [almost]

wear what you want ...

Totally. Absolutely. Yes. As Ruchel says, wear what you want. Everybody has a different notion of looking respectful for an important life-event occasion.

What each person comes up with can be the most touching thing in your memories. You see the individual love.

Raisin

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 3:59 pm

anything shabbosdik is fine. You will look odd in a denim skirt but really, whatever you will wear for shabbos will work. See if you can find a pretty lace or chiffony skirt, long or short is fine. You can match with a shell and nice top.

mommygmer

Tue, Mar 03 2015, 4:34 pm

Thanks all of you for you idea. Your right I am feeling unhappy with my weight and I really don't know style. I will send the return card back that I am coming and go with a top and a skirt, and hope I will fit in. (its really Hungarian). I can always leave if I feel out of place.

I think a friend is going so that will help.

Sorry for wining.

seeker

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 12:41 am

The good news is that at all the weddings I've been to lately, in various circles, including some of the most monotonous in NY, it seems like in the last couple of years there has been a shift towards "anything goes." It's awesome. No one style, everyone looks different and beautiful. Need not be black but black is acceptable. Suits are not the most in style but also still acceptable. Outfits can be more or less dressy and still blend in just fine. Any pretty top with any bottom that coordinates seems to be the norm. You no longer need an extra-dressy skirt or ballgown skirt or whatever you seemed to need a few years farther back. It's so refreshing and liberating. Pick out your favorite Shabbos outfit, go, and don't feel self conscious at all. I like that you no longer need an outfit just for weddings.

seeker

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 12:44 am

Regarding weight, just make sure that whatever you wear fits well. I think everyone looks great in something that fits well. If you need to, visit a store that helps with fitting or take your outfit to a good tailor/seamstress to make it right. Fat only looks bad if it's sticking out of something too small, or you're wearing something way too loose trying to hide it. It will look better in something fitted properly than loose.

seeker

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 1:05 am

zaq wrote:

Monotonous?

Would you prefer homogeneous? I meant in the kinds of places where people tend to or in the past had tended to going for a "look" where you might have wanted to ask "What is everyone wearing" so you could fit in. In those kinds of circles, I am now seeing much more variety at weddings. It's wonderful.

youngishbear

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 1:06 am

mommygmer wrote:

You were asking for ideas. That's not really whining.

So happy to hear you might have a friend to go with you. That's the best way to enjoy a simcha and the easiest way to feel confident. I'm sure you'll find something to wear that makes you look good, especially when you feel confident that you do.

Last edited by youngishbear on Wed, Mar 04 2015, 1:23 am; edited 1 time in total

Dolly Welsh

Wed, Mar 04 2015, 1:20 am

seeker wrote:

Oh yes, this.

OP, what you propose to wear is fine.

But if you have a few weeks, you might order a "dinner suit" from Roaman's. Wear a top that goes out, over the skirt, not tucked in, and leave the jacket open, not buttoned, if that looks right.

Just if you feel like it.

This dressing all the same is only for the immediate family, if even them. Maybe, for them, it cuts down jealousy among the sisters, about who has the nicer outfit on, if they are all the same.