Did any of you have a Rabbi ruin your shidduch?

smilingmom

Wed, Apr 08 2015, 10:25 am

Just want to thrown my two cents on couples getting to know each other before finding out about family issues.
When a person is single and has Little responsibility because they are in Yeshiva or living at home without a stress in the world other than choosing a tie or nail polish color, it is difficult to see how they will handle the stresses of married life.
It is easy to be a mensch, empathetic, courteous, always smiling, masmid, balabuste, great dresser, chesed doing, giving person when you do not have to worry about paying rent, when you do not vomit due to morning sickness or have to be awakened because your wife is retching all nite, when you do not have to clean for Pesach, when you don't have to take care of a kid or two with ear infections, when the only chesed you are doing is letting your wife sleep while youpace with a colicky baby at 3:00 am

It is at this point of stress that we may resort to being our parents... Which is why it is important to know the household the kid grew up in.
It is possible but extremely difficult to overcome our natural inclination to be our parents.

DrMom

Sun, Apr 12 2015, 3:18 am

amother wrote:

How could a Rabbi turn 2 people in love against eachother?

Maybe they are not solidly "in love" yet, but are just getting to know one another and starting to warm up to one another. I can certainly see how a third party could derail a relationship at that stage.