Moving to Lakewood

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:46 pm

I dont know why anyone is taking offense if your husband is only working to support their family and their expenses then you fit right into the lifestyle I was talking about. Why do you feel like I excluded you? I feel like to have a chip on your shoulder for some
Other reason and you are taking it it on me?

There are different types of pple and I was explains it I never said that one was better than the other please don't put words into my mouth.

But kol Torah every parent that I know that sends there and this is only the parents that I know work because they are proud of it and they don't want to associate themselves with yeshivish people. And again I don't know every parent there.

And most parents that I know her send to shragas aryeh are still learning and the few that I know that are working were embarrassed of it and tried to hide it.

I'm not saying one is better than the other I'm trying to help op decide which type of crowd will fit her lifestyle so that she can make the correct decision what is better for her children.

If we don't give her honest answers we can hurt her.

amother

Denim

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:50 pm

amother wrote:

New amother, does anyone know why so many people switched out of Kol Torah recently?

My son is an older grade in Kol Torah. There has been no major exodus of boys in his class. If it was easy for me to do so I would take my son out of YKT but what bothers me may not be an issue for the OP. I do strongly recommend that she speaks to parents in the school prior to sending there .(I would say that about most schools)

amother

Green

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:53 pm

amother wrote:

Do you realize you make parents of both schools sound crazy.

One school we have people who don't want their children to associate with some type of frum people. The next school we have fathers who are embarrassed that they are doing the Ritzon of Hashem of taking their families since that is what Hashem decided how they should get their money.

I think the parents need to go back to Yeshiva and learn some proper emunah and middos.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:59 pm

amother wrote:

I also send to kol torah, older grade. I have to say they have fabulous rabbeim.

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:14 pm

I feel terrible I asked one question and everybody started to sidetrack. I do nott think a person who works is less frum then the one learning in kollel there are so mean reasons why some men can't learn and I do not think anyone has the right to judge them for that. We had so many Gadolim who work. I personally dont like to judge others since I myself am not perfect. I just want my children to be in a school that is some what like us since if I put them some where else not like them they well be the odd one out. I personally love and respect every single yid no matter frum or not or no mattter how they look it is not my job to judge that is the ReBono Shalolamim. And I think anyone who looks down at someone who works REALLY NEEDS TO GO LEARN as one of the questions ask in the next world is Were you truthful in your business affairs and all the halachs that pertains to work. HaShem dislikes people who are machmer on others. A lot of men would love to learn and they can not since they need to support a family and there is nothing wrong if yes they do have a nice big house etc as we see in history. As this might every well be the way of Hashem wants them to be just like Yissacher and Zevulin you need both

Last edited by Emaplus4 on Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:27 pm; edited 5 times in total

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:14 pm

Okay I definitely hit a raw nerve because you are nit picking everything I write.

When I mean that fathers are embarrassed to work it's usually the first year when they transition out. Many Lakewood parents are like that and many times they become more open about themselves working after their kids are in school. The people you know working are working for years but usually and this is a certain type I'm talking about when they transition to work it's not publicized and it's more done quietly. I'm not saying every parents do this but there is a nice amount. I see my neighbor who no one knew he left yeshiva for the first two years after he left but now it's seven years later and he's proud and drive a nice car. Sometimes you ease into your position.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:17 pm

Op again my words are being misread I never said that there is something wrong with a father working I was explaining what makes up the majority of the school parent body.

I never said one is worse than the other I was explaining the type. Obviously the another's who are jumping down my throat have an inferiority complex for whatever reason.

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:30 pm

I think we are getting a little side tract over here, I?m just looking for good info about Yeshivas for my boys and a school for my daughter.
But I will say that the ones that are embarrassed and hiding the fact that they have to go out and work, need to catch up on some Emuna. (Even in the transition they should not hide or be embarrassed) If someone can sit and learn the good for him! And the one that go out to work for whatever reason good for them as well, the Zhedaka has to come from someone. I know more then a few people that go work out to work, learn in the morning and night, and yet they are more makpid on a lot of things that kollel husbands and wife?s don?t.

Anyways it looks like I?m more for Tashbar now, what girl?s school is equivalent to Tashbar?

This forum did help me a lot, thank you all.
AHAVAT CHINAM!!!!!

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 2:47 pm

amother wrote:

I was not pointing a finger at anyone I was just metaphorically speak. Sorry did not mean to offend you

amother

Plum

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 5:03 pm

BTW "mass exodus" from Kol Torah is 4 families one of whom is spreading mass exodus to cover for the fact that her children had to go to a different school for academic reasons.

That is generally the reason people leave Kol Torah. They do not have a special ed track.

OP if this may be an issue for you, send somewhere else.

If you want to know about a school you have to speak to a minimum of 3 people with children in the older grades of that school.

Talk by people online is not a good source. Well acquainted with all three schools personally and a lot of totally UNTRUE things have been written here. Impressions do not usually reflect the reality.

Happydance

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 5:16 pm

My initial reaction to your post title was

"nooo, dont do it!!!! dont jump!"

and then I read some of the responses here and I thought, wow, It seems like the posters did a good job convincing OP to stay far away from all these politics and people being judgmental

Hatzlocha finding a nice warm community and good school for your sons

L K

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 5:51 pm

Op, I'll say it again in case my post was not noticed: you may want to find out which schools don't ban the children from class in case parents temporarily can't pay tuition.

Eta: not that most do but one school I know of does.

Last edited by L K on Thu, Dec 10 2015, 5:52 pm; edited 1 time in total

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 5:51 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you for the advice I figured that at much. I know every single place has it's thing and some people can make it even more then it is. I heared all three yeshivas are all good in there own way

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 6:00 pm

Lk even if I wanted to I dont know how to find out Iy"H I hope HaShem puts us in the right place where ever that might be . I did not think I would get all this post...And my husband was nagging me to post and find out as I told him this post might make us more confused than anything else but I do appreciate all the good and positive advice that poster's did give. As I tried to do this for toalat and not chas v Shalom for lashon hara or lotz Sham ra

alwayscooking

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 8:01 pm

Being that I'm in the special Ed field I get to work in many diff schools throughout the year and on a daily basis in three different schools. I definitely agree before finalizing sending to Kol Torah u should speak to parents that send there and find out the inside info parents aren't writing on this forum.
Regarding girls schools I never worked on Bnos Melech but I heard it is the most extreme yeshivish school you will find. When someone called to offer me a job there they told me not to wear anything worn in the past two years so don't think ur looking for that. I would definitely recommend Ateres Tzipora extremely nice and warm staff and seems like a nice mixed crowd. But u should ask around and the best is to speak to ppl who send kids to the schools u r looking into to get best answer.
Hatzlacha and wish u most of luck it's extremely difficult to get into schools these days even for Lakewood families.

amother

Rose

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 9:56 pm

Emaplus4 wrote:

The thing is that I am not able to since A. We're not from Lakewood and not living here yet and B. I do not know anyone in Lakewood ex for much older ppl

that's really hard then since there are probably 40 schools to choose from. I don't know where you should start... I'm sure the older people you know could help you since they must know about lakewood - or maybe their kids do. Do you know which shul you would join? Maybe the rav of that should could help you?