Moving to Lakewood

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 11:54 am

Well I guess tashbar isn't strict about their dress code because I have two neighbors who send there and their boys definitely don't wear collars on their shirts and they wear tan pants.

Op you never described yourself so we really can say what would be good for you.

But I would tell you that if you get into shragas aryeh run for it it's a great school.

If it we me lol Torah would be my last choice. Also before I send to tashbar I would look into other options..

How about rabbi benders new yeshiva I know three years ago when I was applying they were begging parents to come and it's supposed to be a good school I wonder if it's still easy to get in there now.

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 11:56 am

amother wrote:

It's not.

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 12:15 pm

amother wrote:

Kol Torah is definitely the easiest of those three to get intoits probably the easiest boys school in Lakewood to get into, Then tashbar and then shragas aryeh.

Shragas aryeh most parents are learning and the fathers that aren't would go back to learning if someone would support them.

Tashbar parent body the parents are working because that's the lifestyle that they want to follow.

Shragas aryeh has a lot more rules, ie, only black shoes no other colors in it, not even a white stripe, collared shirts, no tan pants in the summer. In tashbar there are no rules.

I think there are many post on here explaining the difference I don't get why you still say it's the same type of school. Most people that want tashbar doesn't want shragas aryeh and vice versa.

I hope this helps.

Also, what???

Do you know anybody who works because "that's the lifestyle they want to follow"?

I work to pay the bills.

amother

Rose

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 12:32 pm

amother wrote:

We actually applied to both Shaagas Aryeh and Tashbar. My son is in Tashbar but we are definitely from the more yeshivish ones in the school.

Tashbar does have a very strict dress code. Everything you wrote about Shaagas Aryeh's dress code applies to Tashbar, plus more.

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well the question is if they adhere to their dress code rules. What do they do if a boy is not dressed according to the rules?

I'm not sure that kol torah is strict about it although they have the same dress code guidelines as the ones above.

It sounds like op is not super yeshivish but appreciates being with a yeshivish crowd. Being that her family is yeminite and might not feel 100% comfortable with the American, ashkenazi, yeshivish crowd then probably kol toarh is okay for them. Anything really goes there ...there is a mix of families and the rabbeim are good. If OP wants a much more yeshivish student body then look in to other options. But then again, it is very hard to get in to a schools here. I think OP should speak to a rav or maybe a lakewood family member who know them well and would know which type of yeshiva their boys would fit in to. They say chumash in yiddish in most yeshivas here so maybe you want to only look in to the ones that translate only in to English.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 12:35 pm

Why is that offensive in shidduchim some boys are learning because they want to and some boys are working because they don't want to sit and learn what's wrong with that?

There are some people that only work because they have to pay bills ( men not woman a woman can stay home a whole day) and there are some men that work because they have no desire to sit and learn a whole day. What is offensive about that? This world has all types of people in it and hashem made us all different. I never said its bad to work and I never said it in a negative light I was just explaining what type of parents there are.

You can honestly say that you don't know men who only work because they have to pay bills and if given an opportunity they would jump to go back to yeshiva a whole day. And there are men who have no desire to go back to their yeshiva days.

amother

Rose

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 12:41 pm

amother wrote:

don't worry about it ... they will not admit that their dh can no longer sit and learn and that they don't want to live in a basement apartment anymore. Of course they need to work so they can pay for their home, cars, nice things etc. Those who are living in yeshiva apartments or basements and manage with one car are living a different lifestyle and they probably would not send to certain yeshivos.

Yes, everyone has bills to pay and that's why we work. The question is how high the bills are and how much income and hours of work is needed for that lifesytle.

amother

Green

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 12:59 pm

amother wrote:

This is ridiculous, my brother who is learning lives a better lifestyle then I do because their net income is greater then mine.

I know quite a few men who would love to learn but when you have between 8 to 10 kids it is pretty hard to fit then in a basement, feed them, medical bills and tuition all on your wife's salary of $50,000.

I see these working men taking their free time and going to learn, you know what their priorities are.

When a young adult is in shidduchim, they have idealism and goals. When you have children your idealism and goals are to take care of them everything else comes second place.

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:00 pm

Some men even if lets say their fathers offered them $5,000 a month would still want to work and make more money and would not choose to go back to yeshiva and live on less and there are some men of a father would offer them $5,000 a month they would jump at the opportunity to go back to yeshiva. Why is this such a difficult concept to understand? One is not better than The other I was just explaining a type?

Why are you taking offense?

amother

Crimson

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:02 pm

Green so the men you are talking about that learn in their free time is the type that im saying if given the opportunity would go back to learn. Why are you disagreeing with me?

Are you saying that if every man out there in the world was offered 5,000 a month would run to go back to yeshiva to sit and learn a whole day? If that was the case Mashiach would be here already.

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:04 pm

amother wrote:

My husband wear mostly only white and black wears a black hat. I wear only a tichol mostly only black (only dark color skirts) skirts a couple of good incs below my knees and one size up on all my clothes. We are makped with our daughter with only tights and skirts and shells. My boys do not wear tan pants only dark colors nothing flamboyant. We are every sample not running after fashion or latest trend but well put together.

Last edited by Emaplus4 on Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:20 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Rose

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:11 pm

amother wrote:

New amother, does anyone know why so many people switched out of Kol Torah recently?

Some because they are tired of being told that their kid with long bangs should get a haircut.

some because they are tired of having their kids in school with boys who have long bangs and need haircuts.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

OK that's ridiculous

amother

Blue

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:14 pm

amother wrote:

Tashbar parent body the parents are working because that's the lifestyle that they want to follow.

WOW! I"m not a Tashbar parent but what a statement!

What does it mean the lifestyle they want to lead?

so many people aren't learning full time for multiple reasons (can't sit, can't afford, etc) but still live very torahdik lifestyles.

my DH has been working since before we are married. But is that a lifestyle? Its simple what he does. We live in a very small home with a few kids (5 kids in one bedroom), consult a rav on every part of our life, tzinius is important, My DH has learning seders before and after work and davens 3 times a day with a minyan. There are no big houses, fancy clothing (unless new TCP is fancy), no new cars. (besides even if it was important to us I'm not sure its even practical after all of life's expenses). I'm not sure what you mean by lifestyle.

Emaplus4

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:18 pm

amother wrote:

On the contrary we are yeshivish. My husband and I feel 100% comfortable with yeshivish American (I was born in israel and grow up in American since 5 so practical American and my husband is American) Ashkenazi crowd. That is the crowd we are now in. And that is the crowd we want our children to be in. Right now all my children are in Ashkenazi yeshivas.

amother

Azure

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:25 pm

amother wrote:

Because the way you made your statement you implied that learning is the ideal and anyone who works does so because they don't want to be learning = not the ideal. And you just applied that to 500 families.

My DH would love to be learning if he could. Nobody is supporting us except ourselves. And that's why we work. And it's not to support an outrageous lifestyle. We are living in a basement, have two simple cars because we need them, and hardly ever go out to eat.

Your statement was offensive.

amother

Red

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:27 pm

It used to be much more looked down upon to leave yeshiva and go out to work in lakewood, however these days, there are probably more pple in lakewood working than in yeshiva. As the community gets older, the people get older and pple need to earn a living.
My son is in YTT (no, we arent modern) and I did hear that someone switched from kol torah, I also know a couple of tashbar kids that switched to YTT. Its not always a problem with the school it can be that one environment is better for a kid than another.

amother

Green

Thu, Dec 10 2015, 1:38 pm

amother wrote:

When we end Sinas Chinam that is when Mashiach will come. A good way to stop sinas chinam is saying my kids can only go to school with ___________ fill in the blank.