Would you/have you used a non Jewish nanny or daycare

amother

Maroon

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 9:14 am

I never actually did, but was looking into a non Jewish day care at one point. I was working in Manhattan at that time, next door to the day care. I had a 3 month old, so food would not have been an issue. The place was spotless, well staffed, and very well run. I was dying to send there, but unfortunately , could not afford it as the price was outrageously more than what I would pay for regular babysitting. Crying

saw50st8

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 9:32 am

We used a wonderful non-Jewish daycare until our kids were 2-3 years old. They have mostly Jewish kids and are very well versed on kosher. They serve what we send and know that during birthday parties they have to make sure it has a kosher symbol on it or not give if that's what you want.

We chose them because they were:

1) Really warm and loving
2) Much cheaper
3) Open much more often
4) Much more flexible regarding hours

Around 2-3, we move them to a Jewish daycare because at that point, I find the "academics" a little lacking (the Jewish daycare we use starts at 2.5 and has a really great program with lots of art and great outdoor facilities and music etc).

Ruchel

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 11:31 am

Many frum people have one because no choice, or less expensive. As long as you can bring the food or there is a way or another for kosher, it's not a probme until they start understanding Nittel etc.

tigerwife

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 11:39 am

I wouldn't, but that's also because there are so many Frum options available here. If there would only be non-Jewish options... Not sure I would use them. I did have a non-Jewish nurse for my newborn and she was very caring and sweet, but for older and impressionable kids I don't think I would do it.

STMommy

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 11:45 am

I have only used non-Jewish babysitters/nannies. No choice, because I walk in the door 40 minutes before Shabbos in the winter, and don't have off erev yom tov nor chol hamoed, so no frum person was ever willing to take the job. if you have specific questions I'm happy to answer.

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 11:58 am

I have not but many in my community do, for babies until they start school around age 2. Food is not routinely provided at day care, so all families send the food for their own children. Providers with a religious Jewish clientele learn what they need to know about kashrut (no sharing, birthday party food must be approved by the parent).

Also many people have live-in nannies, almost exclusively not Jewish. The parents teach the nanny what she needs to know to prepare simple lunches and snacks at home.

Most send to school at age 2-3.

amother

Honeydew

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 12:07 pm

I would not because I have no way to check them out reliably.

The Jewish daycares in my community have hundreds of references that I know personally and I am part of many mommy groups so I would hear if anything fishy was going on instantaneously. When I was looking into daycare I called many friends and asked around in the groups and was able to make my decision based on tons of information from people I know and trust.

I would not have the same ability with a non Jewish daycare. Even if I called 10 references, they would not be people I know and I would not have the same network of information as I would with a Jewish place.

There is only one non Jewish daycare that I would consider because it is run by my employer and lots of my coworkers use it so I would feel comfortable that I got enough REAL references that its a good place.

amother

Amethyst

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 12:08 pm

I have a, well I suppose you would call her a nanny- someone who babysits for me in my house. I pay her only a little more than I would pay to have my child in a group of 5-6, and the extra is worth it for me. I do it because I feel that (at LEAST) up until age 2, a child most needs the attention of a caring and nurturing adult. They do not need peers and in fact I believe being around peers too much at that age is only harmful.

amother

Ruby

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 1:32 pm

Nope. I would never leave my child with someone who is not 100% frum. I've heard way too many stories... and have had negative experience myself with my children being fed questionable foods etc.

HonesttoGod

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 1:39 pm

I have used a few non Jewish nannies.
I would again if I could.

I also considered a non jewish daycare several times but never came to fruition.

Re nannies: I had no issues with food, I told them we have specific rules, she can eat anything that she finds in my house and I prefer she doesn't eat any of her own food in front of my kids and def. not feed it to them. Other than that she was amazing.

Re: Daycare, I didn't end up doing it because I have so many Jewish options here it just wasn't 'worth' it for me to deal with the backlash (think in laws, family, friends etc). That said they have WAY better hours, are open most of the times I need to work (think Fridays, erev yom tov, chol hamoed etc.) and are trained and professional.

perquacky

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 1:54 pm

We've only used non-Jewish nannies. The best, who lived with us for ten years, was a Seventh-Day Adventist, who was very respectful of our traditions. She had to leave early on Fridays to be home in time for her own Sabbath, but we were respectful of her traditions, as well.

nyer1

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 2:11 pm

we had a non jewish nanny. never ideal. but we found someone that had worked for other kosher families and she was familiar with our customs and expectations. she never brought her own food. she knew where she could take my son and where she couldn't. I always made sure my house was stocked with whatever she could have wanted, so that she never would have been tempted to bring in something from the outside. she even helped PREPARE (not cook) our meals for during the week and shabbos... (cleaning chicken, chopping veggies etc)... she even knew how to make potato kugel from her previous job.

many times I just left the oven on so she could reheat stuff for us or my son... although there is a leniency we learned that she could have REHEATED something for my son in the microwave, but not cook something from scratch. AYLOR.

amother

Teal

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 2:47 pm

I would not use a non-Jewish daycare but I have a non-Jewish nanny. She is in my house, and I have control over what's going on, as opposed to a non-Jewish institution. I tell her to help herself to food in my house but not to bring in her own food. My Jewish books, cds, etc for my kids. There aren't options for Jewish childcare here.

I work from home so I hear what is going on, come downstairs and check up, etc.

pesek zman

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 3:02 pm

amother wrote:

m

I guess because you work at home you feel (and you do) have oversight and control. I send my babe to a non Jewish daycare and do so (rather than a non Jewish nanny) because there's accountability! First off, really not comfortable with the thought of a non Jew in my kitchen at all, but in daycare, there is an open door policy and parents coming and going all day. And they at meticulous about dietary restrictions because for me it's kosher but for someone else it's w gluten intolerance or a milk allergy. They can get in huge trouble giving a kid something to eat that they're not allowed to

As parents we all make choices that's best for our families; just offering another perspective

mille

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 7:11 pm

I'll be sending to a non-jewish daycare. I see the value in Jewish daycare when the kid is old enough to actually learn some Jewish stuff, but no value in it at infancy. I also see no value in specifically hiring a frum babysitter or nanny.

MagentaYenta

Mon, Jan 11 2016, 7:14 pm

perquacky wrote:

My DD went to home care at with a Mormon family, who were just wonderful respectful people. She was 3 at the time. I had no worries when it came to them respecting our religious beliefs.