Just bc im on welfare doesnt mean I have to look poor

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jan 24 2016, 8:52 pm

Maya wrote:

I'm not going to justify my luxury purchases, just because I didn't take the money from anyone, and also I don't give a d*mn if someone else can't wrap their heads around my expensive car or whatever else I decide to splurge on.

I will judge you if your standard of living is similar to mine and I know that you're receiving government benefits. A one time gift of a stroller or a rare splurge on a luxury item is not a standard of living and I don't begrudge anyone that, but if you're consistently buying expensive outfits and accessories for your kids, spending summers in the country, going to Israel for Lag B'omer and making fancy parties and simchas, I will judge you very harshly. And yes, I do know many, many such people.

I dont know many such people although they do exist. As I said before, they are either really low income with wealthy parents who give them fancy gifts, or make a lot of money off the books. Neither are the type of people I admire, so im not about to be jealous of them.

youngishbear

Sun, Jan 24 2016, 8:56 pm

amother wrote:

Your kids must be very close in age because I really liked the bugaboo donkey in terms of looks and push, but my older dd was already too outgrowing the seat at 19 months (she is tall). The sales lady said they are some of the shortest seats of the doubles. Also it was too heavy and bulky I felt to be really practical though if you never lift it in and out of a car or up stairs it won't matter.

What's wrong with baby wearing?

I tried baby wearing but I couldn't handle it. How do people do it? My back was protesting and I felt straight-jacketed (that's besides the fact that It Isn't Done where I live.)

Amarante

Sun, Jan 24 2016, 9:20 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

I don't think anyone is jealous of people who cheat the system.

I think people have negative feelings towards such people which is far different than jealousy or envy.

Maya

Sun, Jan 24 2016, 9:31 pm

mommy2b2c wrote:

You posted this in response to my post. Did I seem jealous to you? LOL

mommy3b2c

Sun, Jan 24 2016, 9:36 pm

Amarante wrote:

I don't think anyone is jealous of people who cheat the system.

I think people have negative feelings towards such people which is far different than jealousy or envy.

Well I also have negative feelings towards them. I have negative feelings towards all cheaters and thieves. Maybe people are expressing themselves unclearly. People were saying "I will definitely judge those on welfare who have bugaboos, and uggs, and designer clothing, fancy vacations, etc..."

I said, don't judge because you don't know how they got it. If you know for a fact that they are cheating the system, I guess I can hear why you judge...

amother

Oak

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 2:07 am

Just to make it clear: Bugaboos are quality strollers that can be used for several kids even if bought used on craigslist. You can definitely use it for multiple kids if you do big enough gaps. They are light, maneuvrable, wheel single handedly, have a spacious detachable carrycot and seats witha footrest that face both mother or street. That is why they ARE better for kids than a 80 bucks umbrella stroller.
A 100 dollar outfit is a splurge that I have no way of justifying.

cnc

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 2:45 am

youngishbear wrote:

I tried baby wearing but I couldn't handle it. How do people do it? My back was protesting and I felt straight-jacketed (that's besides the fact that It Isn't Done where I live.)

I think you need to experiment with different kind of carriers and wraps and see which one is most comfortable for you. Also I was told the trick is to start wearing your baby from birth. By my last child, I tried to start baby wearing when she was 10 months on and my back protested. I was told not to pursue it and to start from birth by my next one. It's easier on the back. Don't know if this is true or not.

Heyaaa

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 2:52 am

amother wrote:

I don't get why it's better than an uppababy. Uppababy vista is still very expensive but it should last as many years as bugaboo and it has all the features you mentioned and it's about $400 cheaper and it has more benefits, like a bigger basket, it's much easier to fold and it doesn't take up any more space when it is used as a a double. I'm honestly asking because I'm trying to understand what makes bugaboos so appealing because I don't get it.

amother

Cyan

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 3:03 am

Oak amother... But there are cheaper alternatives that are just as good. Compare apples to apples. NOT a cheap umbrella vs a luxury stroller. That's like saying "a Maserati is a must when you compare it to the Pinto".
If you want a double, look at the contours options elite- giant basket, lots of different configurations, on the lighter side (NONE are light. Just some strollers are lighter), maneuverable, adjustable footrest. Upf 50+ retractable canopy for each seat. You can use it as a single or a double. Peekaboo windows. Reclining seats.
Plus it comes with the extras other companies make you pay for. Like a universal car seat adaptor that fits tons of brands. 2 belly bars. Parent cup holder. And the basket has a side zipper to get to stuff easily.
And it comes in many colors.
AND it folds with both stroller seats on. Or you take them off for smaller cars.

Half the price of the cheapest bugaboo I saw, and less than a third of some!!!
Contours: Less than 300 on amazon at the time of this posting. Should last just as long. Wish I saw this stroller before my first was born... Would have bought it then and just put second seat in storage until needed.

No reason for bugaboo except name. Look around and don't be blinded by what others convince you that you need.

Heyaaa

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 3:18 am

amother wrote:

Heck you sold me. Never heard of that brand but I will definitely look into them next time I buy a stroller.

amother

Olive

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 6:27 am

amother wrote:

It is easy to justify treating a friend to the $100 outfit unlike community pressure to buy bugaboos. No pressure to purchase the $100 outfit. I am buying it, and no one asked me for it. No one is collecting tzedukah for it (yet). OTOH tzedukah is being collected for buguboos which means pressure from the community. My money is being controlled. I have to answer when asked.

I don't give money when it is being collected for a specific chasunah either. Too many times I was I was shown my money went to sibling gifts or other such nonsense. I was also asked to buy furniture for the couple. One time I found out several people were buying the same furniture. The mother showed me her new sheital and her own jewelry proudly telling me how she had money left over, but forgetting how she came to me days before to pay for the furniture. Now, I give nothing to the mother and father. I only give a gift directly to the couple. The gift is often a luxury item because I figure they got all the necessities.

Heyaaa

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 7:20 am

Heyaaa wrote:

Heck you sold me. Never heard of that brand but I will definitely look into them next time I buy a stroller.

Actually I just looked it up. It weighs almost 50lbs!!! As in the stroller weighs that much!! I will still look into them but that's more than double my citimini.

amother

Green

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 8:13 am

Olive, I don't have a lot of money. I'm not on welfare because we earn too much but we have a lot of kids and large tuition bills. I really don't have money to spend on clothes. If you want to spend $100 on a baby outfit, please don't give it to me. Its too painful putting on a $100 outfit when I can't afford socks for my baby. Give me a $100 gap or childrens place giftcard, or buy me several outfits. You can buy cute shabbosdik outfits for $20, no need to spend $100.

If you did give me a $100 outfit I would possibly try and change it for something more suitable, but I'm guessing it comes from a store that sells only $100 outfits.

mommy3b2c

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 8:46 am

amother wrote:

If you need clothes for kids, please pm me. I may be able to help you out.

amother

Peach

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 9:42 am

youngishbear wrote:

I tried baby wearing but I couldn't handle it. How do people do it? My back was protesting and I felt straight-jacketed (that's besides the fact that It Isn't Done where I live.)

It's important to get a good carrier. You get what you pay for. The cheaper ones are uncomfortable and can really harm your back.

sky

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 9:43 am

amother wrote:

http://www.imamother.com/forum.....08458

do you plan the gaps so that you can use the bugaboo for each?

there is something between $80 and $1000+.

Volunteer

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 2:15 pm

This thread reminds me of my father, as he rests in gan Eden. He was the opposite of the "be poor, look rich " trend. You could say he looked "poor" even though he was not.
He had zero desire for trendy, designer clothes, the latest electronics and gadgets, vacations, cars, and so on. He was thrifty to a fault. He never wasted a thing.

Our family was never deprived. If there was something we needed, the money was there to buy it, and he always taught us to look for value rather than glossy packaging or a bargain price. Most importantly, I learned from his example to be satisfied with what I have, to make the most out of little, never to care for fads, and that it's okay not to have your every desire.

I think this debate about whether bugaboo strollers are overpriced is missing the forest for the trees. (FTR I'm very satisfied with my graco travel system which I purchased new myself and my used gifted baby Bjorn, and I'd take them anywhere.)

What is this about feeling bad about yourself if you don't have the latest and greatest thing that "everyone" else has? That is the issue worth debating here.

sourstix

Mon, Jan 25 2016, 8:57 pm

jawscience - you mentioned the graco, so I will chime in with my two sence here.

I lived in brooklyn not long ago. I didnt drive as its very hard to even get around with a car. so I did a lot of walking and mostly that. sometimes a car service and rarely did my husb take me.

when my ds was born I went with dh to babies r us and we picked out a graco carriage. cost us 145$ at the time. ok its quite a while. but you know what? iwas the only chasidish woman in the streeet with it. all others were walking aruound with more expensive carriages.

then my dd was born and I was still using it, but my teenage daughter said "ma, your the only woman I know with this carriage and I wont weal my sister in this graco I am embarrassed"

why on earht was I made to feel bad for something I didnt do wrong? was has happened to our society?

I was so proud that I was able to buy my own without having to get handouts from my parents and inlaws and what not.

how come society has gone upside down? what has happened to us? I cant answer it. but I feel sorry for this daughter that she is living with this. she sees the craziness now. she hates it.

she knows I dont monkey around when it comes to money. I think shes getting it. slowly...