How often do you go to your parents for shabbos?

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Forum -> Yom Tov / Holidays -> Shabbos, Rosh Chodesh, Fast Days, and other Days of Note

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How often do you go to your parents house for shabbos?

once a month

30%

[ 18 ]

every 4 months

22%

[ 13 ]

only for yomim tovim

47%

[ 28 ]

Total Votes : 59

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 4:20 am

How often do you spend shabbos at your parents house. My mother feels that we do not come to spend shabbos at her house often enough. We used to live much farther from each other, now that it is only an hours drive she expects to come once a month. To me that sounds a little much. We have our own home and our own community and it's an upheaval for our kids. We can't invite them to us because we live on a high floor with no shabbos elevator and my father can't do steps.
Just wondering what other people actually do

pesek zman

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 4:33 am

About 2x a year

shevi82

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 4:44 am

We go around 4-5 times a year, usally it will be chagim, Chanuka, and summer vacation.
I started going to visit by myself or with 2-3 kids during the week or on Motzai Shabbos, I try to go about once in three weeks. That way they see us (or some of us) even if it is not for a whole Shabbos.

Raisin

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 4:44 am

why don't you go over and visit motzei shabbos in the winter or sunday in the summer?

mommy3b2c

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 5:18 am

Never. We do eat by them for a few meals on pesach and succos. We don't live far, so we still see each other.

amother

Gold

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 5:31 am

We used to go very often because we lived very close to them so we walked over for a meal but we moved away to another country so we never go any more. It's very hard getting used to especially on yomtov.😢

amother

Gray

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 5:38 am

I'm aiming for every 6 weeks now that my father has dementia and is in a facility.

amother

Blue

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 5:59 am

We don't go overnight anymore since we moved to the same city. We'll walk over for lunch and either take a bus back after Shabbos in the winter or walk home before Seudah Shlishit in the summer. We went maybe 4-5 times a year before moving.

Eta- walking over isn't every week. I'd say it averages out to every 3-4 weeks, though the last few weeks have been a little crazy since OOT family was visiting so we went more often.

amother

Cerise

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 6:15 am

We go to my in-laws once a week for dinner and stay there for Shabbos about every other week. They live about an hour away.
My parents who live in walking distance we go to for a meal the Shabbosim we are home and sometimes during the week as well. It's awesome Smile

My siblings and siblings-in-law who live here all do the same which is really nice for us and all the children.

momx6

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 6:40 am

Once a year, maybe...

greenfire

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 6:49 am

don't think those are the only three choices for a poll ...

but to answer your dilemma ~ as your own unit, you must do what is best for your own family

gold21

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:07 am

Very infrequently

In recent years we've been going just succos, pesach, and one shabbos in the summer

But I kind of want to start making my own succos this coming year IYH

busydev

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:26 am

My parents live a mile away. We go for 2-3 shabbosim (sleepover cause we don't hold of the eruv), part of pesach and second days succis, plus a meal or two on rh and shavuos.

My in-laws live a few hours away. We do the same basically other then the meals on rh and shavuos tho we have went to them for shavuos a couple times. We also usually stay there for most of ch on pesach and succos.

Last edited by busydev on Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:52 am; edited 1 time in total

boysrus

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:31 am

maybe once every four years....

there was no option on the poll for me.

we live a few thousand miles away from both sets of parents and cant afford to visit more often than once every three or four years unfortunately.

Iymnok

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:41 am

Never since I got married. They do stay with me for at least one Shabbos when they come to visit.
17+ hours of flight time and the price just isn't worth it.
Why was this not an option?

twogees

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:44 am

my parents every few shabosim for shabbos lunch and once every 2 months for a full shabbos -they live a 20 min walk.
my inlaws live in another state and we go for y"t and they go to the mountains for part of the summer so we try to go for 1 or 2 shabbosim

Amarante

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 7:49 am

I don't understand why it's limited to Shabbbos specifically.

With parents only an hour away, I think once a month to see them is not unreasonable. Why not on a Sunday as another poster suggested if staying overnight often is difficult. Your parents can visit you alternating since no elevator issue on Sunday.

amother

Jetblack

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 8:07 am

We live in the same city but far so not really practical for walking back and forth for meals.
When we were first married we were there probably about every 2-3 weeks. Then it was more like every 2-3 months. Now it's maybe 2-3 times a year and we don't go for Yom Tov. I have teenagers and they like to be near their friends. DH and I like our own bed, (I know, we sound like a bunch of old folks Rolling Eyes

) our own shul and we host others a lot.

My parents still have kids at home (they had kids after I was married already!) so they have the same problem with the teenagers we have, plus they are 20 years OLDER than us so like to stay with their own beds/shul/home even more than we do. So they come to us Maybe once a year.

We're lucky to live in the same city so we do see each other during the week so it's not like I go months without seeing them. Usually one of us stops by the other for some reason about once a week.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 8:12 am

As little as possible.

busydev

Sun, Mar 13 2016, 8:19 am

Amarante wrote:

the question was just about shabbos.

I see my mother and some siblings almost every weekday since she watches my kids while I work. Some weeks I see my father a couple times some weeks not at all.

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