Not one thank you | Imamother

amother

Orchid

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 10:17 pm

momtra wrote:

OP, what grade do you teach?
I teach middle school where each child has 5 or 6 different teachers. All teachers get a group gift( which I most certainly appreciate) but I didn't get thank you from individual parents, and I understand it's difficult and time consuming to reach out to 5 or 6 teachers. My students say thank you and I appreciate that.
At the same time, as a mom, I write a thank you to all of my kids teachers, participate in group gift, and have my kids write a thank you note to each of tgeir teachers

I teach middle school, teach all english subjects. Only english teacher.

MiracleMama

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 10:24 pm

amother wrote:

I am so upset with the parent body from my class. I didn't get one thank you from a parent this year out of 22 students, not one. This is the first year that I have this. I don't need money. I don't need a gift certificate. I don't need a gift. But, you can't say thank you? After I poured my heart and soul into my students. After the countless hours I spent speaking with you on the phone. The many many hours I spent making my subjects more creative and enjoyable for your children to learn. For all the homework emails and reminder emails I sent out every single night. For the trips I didn't have to take your children on, but I did. For all the pictures I emailed throughout the year of your children. You couldn't take 2 minutes of your day to respond to one of those emails to thank me for my hard work? A note? A text? Nothing? You had my number when you had an issue to discuss.You thank your doctor after you get a checkup. You thank your accountant after he files your taxes. You thank your mailman for dropping off the mail. But, you can't thank the person that spent the last 10 months educating your child?

Is it just me, or is this just plain wrong?

I'm curious... are you wanting thank you notes from the students or from the parents?

I had my children write notes to thank their teachers. I thought it would mean more from them then from me. Do teachers expect also from the parents?

ETA: I'm sorry nobody thanked you for a job well done. I'd be hurt too.

seeker

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 10:26 pm

amother wrote:

Hey, not every profession gets thanked. All jobs are hard but think about every person who you encounter. Do you thank the secretary every time she made copies for you? Or the receptionist at your doctors office when she schedules you? Or a social worker, therapist or whoever else you bump into?
It's your job and while it's nice to be thanked it isn't a "must".

I don't expect it (not a teacher but a professional who works with kids) and therefore feel amazing if I get anything. Lower your expectations and life will be less complicated. And I rarely get a thank you.

I usually try not to be this offensive on imamother, but you must be a pretty unpleasant person to be around if you think all these people don't deserve to get thanked because it's their job. I was raised to (and continue to, and teach my children to) thank the crossing guard, the bus driver, the mail carrier, the security staff, the building maintenance team, the cashier, the receptionist, etc. I have seen people ignore those that they aren't directly addressing anyway, such as the person cleaning the floors - it would be nice to thank him but if you're just passing by and don't happen to say anything, at least it makes sense. But any time you're actually making contact with someone who is doing something for you, the conversation should include a thank you.

amother

Orchid

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 10:26 pm

MiracleMama wrote:

I'm specifically talking about the parents but generally if a child writes a thank you note to a teacher, I would assume the parent prompted their child to do so. If the parent didn't prompt the child, I'd be very impressed with what this child is learning at home that they'd think to write a note on their own.

gilamom

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 10:35 pm

I'm so sorry OP, you deserve more than to just be thanked, your hard work and dedication both in the classroom and behind the scenes have taught our children so much. Some of these projects that come home have me shaking my head in jealousy at your creativity.

I can speak for myself and say I normally sent a nice thank you card and small gift every year but unfortunately these past couple of years have been difficult financially for us and it hurts me at the end of every year, I war with myself to just send a thank you card or note at least but a lot of the teachers we have are repeats or close to teachers we've had in the past and I'm embarrassed they'll think maybe the gift card or check fell out in my child's backpack

. If I had email addresses I'd probably have liked to go that route.

Not every profession gets thanked like PP have stated however not every profession has so much that goes on behind the scenes like teachers have, with most other jobs you get to go home at the end of the day and recuperate for the next-a teacher still has to contact parents, go over worksheets, mark or make tests and quizzes, prepare lesson plans and projects, etc. not to mention maintaining their own household and I'm in awe that you're able to juggle it all.

2cents

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 11:06 pm

Just skimmed through the first and last page of the thread, and I see a lot of posters saying it's strange. I've been teaching for several years, am well like and often requested by parents, and I put a lot into my job, and rarely do I get a thank you note. If I happen to see a parent, they are profuse in verbally thanking me, but gifts? Notes? Not by chanukah, purim, or end of year. So it's not so strange, I don't think.

I will say that it always feels so abrupt and awkward to me...I spend 10 months thinking about these kids, discussing them with their parents, spending hours interacting with them daily, then...nothing. I feel like telling the parents, I worked with your child, I took care of him for you as if he were my own for those hours...

One child this year went through a psychiatric episode. The mother called me at least once a day, and if I wasn't immediately available, she would just keep calling and letting it ring endlessly....nu, I understand and was sympathetic. But if she had me on speed dial all year, why can't she call tonight to thank me?? Won't she be ashamed if I bump into her next year, or if if teach her next child? I know I would be!

/end rant, steps off soapbox

naturalmom5

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 11:18 pm

amother wrote:

Look on the positive side.At leazst they don't eat OU D

amother

Sapphire

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 11:27 pm

Thank you for writing this, OP.

I'm a very disorganized procrastinator. On top of that, when something feels mentally overwhelming to me, I push it off even more. This year my kids had 9 teachers (excluding preschool) and 4 therapists. Some were great, some not so much.

But they all deserve a thank you card. It's common courtesy.

It's not too late, so thank you for giving me the kick in the pants I needed.

Also, OP, please don't let this discourage you!

flowerpower

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 11:29 pm

Gilasmom, you don't have to send a check or gift card at the end of the year. A simple personalized thank you card is just what they need. They spend a few hours a day with your kid four/ five days a week. For ten months! That is a lot. It's not mandatory but it's a nice gesture

amother

Olive

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 11:31 pm

amother wrote:

Look at the bright side of things. You got paid. This is not an identical sitch, but some people put in months of effort on others Shidduchim and if the Shidduch doesnt materialize, (sometimes even if the Shidduch does materialize) most dont thank the Shadchan, and the Shadchan doesnt get a paycheck.

We always thanked the shadchan for their efforts and sent them a small gift.

rachelbg

Thu, Jun 23 2016, 11:45 pm

I think parents today are either so busy that they unfortunately let this fall to the wayside, or they are so entitled that they don't even think about going the extra mile to thank an educator.

I'm a bH very well-liked and respected Morah, and out of the 80 or so kids I taught this year, one student brought me a card with a note and gift card. Last year I think it was similar. I have a very good repor with the parent and student body... I think that unless it's davka the trend to acknowledge teachers, it goes forgotten.

It is frustrating and potentially hurtful to think about it, but remember that it's nothing personal. These parents are doing the same for all the teachers.

I make sure to always acknowledge my kids' educators.

amother

Ivory

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 12:19 am

I feel so sad for you op! So not acceptable!! Sad

Thank you op for pointing this out because my ds has yeshivah for one more week and hubby mentioned today we should send another tip. I didn't think it was so important because we just gave Purim time but you are 1000% right and if I can't change what your students parents did I can at least change my own behavior. It my first child in his first year of school so forgive me for not realizing how important this is!!! Thank you!!!

And may I also thank you for all your hard work you put into your students you sound like an amazing teacher!!! So Thank you!!!

joyful mom

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 12:37 am

I did not give anything to the teachers now at the end of the year. However, I did include a nice thank you card along with a tip in the Mishlach Manos on Purim and for some teachers I also gave a nice card with money for Chanukah. Is it so necessary to give a 2nd or (a 3rd time for some) a thank you note again at the end of the year to the same teacher? I know it's always nice but to be honest it's hectic B"h trying to juggle work and family... and I thought I already let the teachers know during the year how much I appreciate their work. How many times do I need to send them cards? I was never a teacher so just trying to understand.

amother

Salmon

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 1:45 am

Op if a parent gives you $100 do you make sure to personally thank the teacher or is it so expected that you don't thank them.

I used to give $100 to each teacher on chanuka and again on Purim and I got so few thank you's along with end of the year gift card. I stopped this practice and only give the few exceptional teachers now because it was a lot of money for me and I did it out of appreciation but if teachers couldn't even thank me then I don't need to waste my money.

Also now I give chanuka and if I don't get a thank you then I don't give that teacher for Purim and for sure no end of the year gift card either.

amother

Cerulean

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 2:53 am

I only have 1 child in school. When she was younger I used to make a card for each teacher and have her color it. Now I have her write the cards herself.

I participate in the class gifts at Chanukah and m"m and usually there is a class gift at the end of the year as well. This year the class mother didn't organize a group gift and I didn't even realize until it was too late to go out and buy my own gifts. I also don't like to spend good money on things that will go to waste since I see relatives who are teachers giving away the things they receive as presents that are not to their taste or they have no use for. So the notes will have to suffice this year.

heidi

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 5:34 am

OP, I'm so sorry you weren't recognized for all your efforts this year.
I do have to tell you that I saw your OP and opened my email and sent a heartfelt thank you to DS's rav. Here in Israel monetary gifts are considered an insult by the teacher (as I learned the hard way when I sent a chanuka check to my son's rav the first year we moved here-- in NY it was a must, here it was seen as an insult). But I sent a huge mishloach manot and now this thank you. Thank YOU OP for reminding me of my manners.

Raisin

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 5:43 am

amother wrote:

$100 is a lot. I don't expect thankyous for the thank you gifts I give. (I never spend more then about $20-30) I am thanking the teacher for his or her hard work over the year. If I happen to see the teacher they will probably thank me but I honestly don't expect it. What are you waiting for? hand written notes??? I'd rather my kids teacher spent time on preparing classes then sending thank you notes for the thank yous from the parents.

Iymnok

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 6:21 am

Thank you for your op, I was just about to write my thank you cards and your op gives me specific things to include.
I am not joining in the group gift since I feel that it is impersonal and more money than I can afford right now.
I estimated how much we will be asked for all our kids teachers and used that as a top dollar to spend on our gifts.
I asked my kids what they like about their teachers and wrote it down. I got small picture frame magnets that will have my kids picture inside. We'll attach them with a ribbon. This comes to about $2 each, but conveys hakaras hatov.

amother

Orchid

Fri, Jun 24 2016, 8:38 am

joyful mom wrote:

I think what you did is more than enough. If you wrote thank you notes throughout the year, that's really thoughtful. This particular parent body that I'm referring to didn't give anything for chanukah and only a handful of mishloach manos, no notes included. It's really nice to give a note for chanukah or purim, but especially if the parents didn't give throughout the year, I thought they'd at least say thank you at the end.