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Does anyone actually like Chanukah parties?
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amother




Bisque


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:16 pm
All I hear is how hard they are... for people going through a variety of hardships... you name it - infertility, pregnancy loss, shidduchim, divorce... it causes them pain and discomfort.

So, maybe the other ppl, as in ppl without a major hardship, like them, right? But we all have some pekala... does anyone enjoy them? I am honestly wondering.

Thank you!
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mommy3b2c









  


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:17 pm
I have plenty of pekelach. I love chanuka parties. What does one have to do with the other?
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justforfun87









  


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:27 pm
Who doesn't enjoy going to a party? I noticed a theme that people who live in Brooklyn tend to have way more parties, wedding, vorts, etc to go to so it seems like a chore. Where I live if I get invited to a wedding I jump for joy, get a babysitter, and make sure not to miss the shmorg.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:37 pm
People who want kids are pained by comments others say to them... or by all the kids/babies there... similar with those who have lost pregnancies at various points...or are not yet married... etc. Some people have a hard time being surrounded by people who don't understand their pain and can also make it much worse. The bubby who says how cute every kid there is and then tries to say something to her about how she would be such a good mother... ouch!

All I hear last week is how painful chanukah parties are. I didn't have any to go to, but I wonder if anyone actually likes them bc that isn't what I hear.

Does that clarify my OP?
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amother




Burlywood


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:42 pm
Yes I actually like parties! I feel like the kids have it hard because they r completely off schedule but still have school so it is gard but I love hosting parties. I think its fun to prepare for them.
I think ppl going thru hardships find them hard but that's not just a. Chanukah party that is any gathering with ppl.
I feel like we r so stressed and busy I love having time just for fun!
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amother




Yellow


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:43 pm
Whether I like them or not depends on who's in attendance. I love Chanukah (and any other) parties with the side of the family I like. I hate Chanukah (and any other) parties with the side of the family I don't like. So I'll either be excited or full of dread, depending on which one is coming up.
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amother




Gray


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:48 pm
I get it, OP.

They're exhausting and end way too late.

My kids do not have enough party-worthy clothes for so many nights of dressing up, especially because for the little ones it means changing into a second set of clothing each day. The laundry is ridiculous.

I work all week. Single mom. Divorce did not make me more sensitive, just more tired.

Why do they start so very darn late??? Our family parties didn't start before 8 or 9, and don't end before 11 or 12. I get that some people come home from work late, and can't get their act together earlier. But are they really the majority? Why don't we early-birds get accommodated?

I know, I can leave the party early. But how much earlier, if the fun and the nosh comes later? It's not much of a party for the kids before that.

By Thursday I was thinking "seriously? The miracle couldn't have been that the oil was ready by the third day? It had to take the Maccabees 8 days to get the new ones ready?"

But I probably wouldn't be very happy to sit at home staring at the candles by my lonesome every night. I did plan fun parties for the two nights (out of 8!!) that we spent at home, and it was beautiful.

Too much of a good thing, maybe?
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allthingsblue









  


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:49 pm
Yes, I do!
Only time I get to see extended family in a non-simcha setting, without music blasting in my ear so we can't hear each other.
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amother




Bisque


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:51 pm
allthingsblue wrote:
Yes, I do!
Only time I get to see extended family in a non-simcha setting, without music blasting in my ear so we can't hear each other.


LOL Laughing
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ra_mom









  


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 9:51 pm
I like them as long as we only have two, one for each side of the family, and they're in venues that are big enough for everybody to feel comfortable.
I'm not saying there aren't times I kvetch, or that certain family members get too close for comfort, but a good party is a good party, and being around family when everybody is in a good mood is always awesome.
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amother




Coffee


Post  Sun, Jan 01 2017, 11:34 pm
I enjoy them!

I think I have smaller families than some of you, so I have fewer parties to go to and they are not such a balagan.

We actually had no parties until today and then we had two. The first was at my parents with just immediate family. It was nice to see my siblings and siblings in law and my nieces and nephews in a casual setting. My mother made brunch and we sat around the table shmoozing while the kids played with their Chanukah presents in the living room. Some years we have a party with more extended family but it didn't happen this year.

This afternoon we had a party for DH's side of the family. It was mid afternoon and very casual and again the adults sat around shmoozing while the kids went off to play. It was nice to see people, especially the newlyweds. Not everyone could make it, which was a pity, but we were a lot less crowded than normal. We were home by 5 PM and able to give the kids a quick snack a get them into bed at a normal hour.
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glutenless









  


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 12:01 am
I love our family chanukah parties. We only go to two parties, the ones my parents and my inlaws make. Like someone else posted, it's the only time we get to spend with only immediate family. By a simcha there are always other people around. Purim we only get to spend with my husband's family, mine lives too far to travel just for the purim seuda. Besides, purim is a long, tiring day, I just don't enjoy that party as much. The chanukah party is always a fun, relaxing time to spend with our families.
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amother




Natural


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 12:09 am
I love chanuka parties. Or any party. But I have a different problem.

My DH hates them. Oh so much. We usually end up fighting about whether we have to go or not. But we do go to two for sure. One his family makes. One my family makes. Every couple of years we have an extended family one. We sometimes go. Sometimes don't. I am actually jealous of the people who have at least 4 parties to go to. Sounds like tons of fun.

I am perfectly fine going to a party without my husband. My family gets together a lot. By now my family is used to it when they see only me and not my husband attending.
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DrMom









  


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 12:36 am
amother wrote:
All I hear is how hard they are... for people going through a variety of hardships... you name it - infertility, pregnancy loss, shidduchim, divorce... it causes them pain and discomfort.

So, maybe the other ppl, as in ppl without a major hardship, like them, right? But we all have some pekala... does anyone enjoy them? I am honestly wondering.

Thank you!

Some people enjoy being around others because it takes their minds off their troubles.

Of course, if the "parties" you attend consist of nosy people rubbing people's misfortunes in their faces, then of course that's no fun.

Ditto if someone are so consumed by his troubles that he is reminded of them at every turn (I.e., someone who is so consumed by the fear of not getting married that he recoils from married couples). But in this case this person probably needs some professional advice for how to stop obsessing about his problems.
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essie14









  


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 2:09 am
We had a lovely Chanukah party with extended family whom we rarely see. I loved it. Yes, I worked hard but I enjoy entertaining and I was able to take it easier the day after. The kids had off all week so waking up for school wasn't an issue.
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chanchy123









  


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 2:21 am
I love Chanukah parties. They are an opportunity for the entire family to get together. The kids get to meet the extended family. It's an opportunity to understand how important family is even though they may follow very different paths - they understand that we are all bound together by an important tie.
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amother




Slateblue


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 9:27 am
I enjoy parties in general. But yes, I'm one of the kvetchers:

It ends so late! My kids are acting kookoo and I still have to travel home and put them to sleep and they have regular school the next day.

The house is too small to accommodate us all. I know you feel better when it's in your house and it's easier and cheaper. But no, 55 people do not fit into your tiny dining room and kitchen. Sitting. Yelling. Unwrapping gifts. All that wrapping paper takes up as much space as another ten people.

I need to bring a grab bag and a poem for as many family members as I have. That's one for each child plus two adults. I'd rather spend my morning enjoying not to have to cook supper than thinking of what rhymes with " a boy, so big..."

So, when the party is local, in a place big enough for the people invited, and all I need to do is bring a salad, I enjoy it much more.
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Bizzydizzymommy









  


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 9:36 am
I loved each Chanukah party I had. It's a time when I truly laugh, enjoy my family , kids enjoy their cousins , I found it be a bonding experience, even at my office Chanukah party. It's important to let go a little and enjoy spending time with the people in your life. And I've got plenty of hardships in life, it actually is therapeutic for me to go have a good time.
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amother




Coral


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 10:39 am
Im a real part girl. I love having fun. But no I hate chanukah parties. My husband is an addict. I put this big smile on my face to cover up the extreme pain thats going on inside. Of course someone in the family usually sais somethibg stupid ( this time my fil was talking about a guy who wasnt ready to get married and why on earth did his parents marry him off? Shocked Rolling Eyes ) I go to these parties for my kids. I dont want them to miss out. But yes chanukah parties( chanukah in general) very very hard for me
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flowerpower









  


Post  Mon, Jan 02 2017, 10:57 am
I love them. Chanukah is our favorite yom tov. We host parties, we go to parties... We meet people... Get to know extended family.
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