Do you tell? | Imamother

amother

Cobalt

Wed, Feb 08 2017, 11:48 pm

yeah, ive been wondering about this too. I am a different amother. I am sure I have figured out that a poster is my sis in law. There is absolutely no doubt about it, every single personal detail matches exactly, and her posts read just like she talks. to be honest, I like it, becasue we dont have much contact. we live n different continents and rarely talk, but we do email each other every month or so.
I dont want to tell her because hten she ll want to know my screen name. Ive been on here way longer than her, shes only been married a few years. I do NOT wnat to tell her my screen name, some stuff I have written with it has been way too personal and private.

seeker

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 12:08 am

amother wrote:

I'd want to be told if I were her. And I would not ask what your screen name is, either. However, I might inadvertently start keeping an eye out for things that sound like they could be you, now that I know you're here...

I had a couple of people contact me on facebook to say, by the way I'm pretty sure you're seeker on imamother. And I appreciated knowing. That was before I had totally given up on anonymity here. One of them I figured out who she was too but she was totally OK with that. The other one I still don't know and don't really care either.

amother

Blonde

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 12:10 am

People are seldom as unique as they they think they are, and it's easy to assume you know who someone is based on certain things that are actually common to many people. The kind thing is to avoid figuring out who people are.
A few times I've gotten PMs asking things like if I'm Mrs. X, who is a frequent poster on another site whose writing style is similar to mine, or if I live in such and such a place because I sound just like someone the op knows who's from there. No great surprise, really--I'm an orthodox Jewish mother of a certain age and my life is pretty conventional for where I live. It's not like I'm an Olympic figure skater or ambassador to Vanuatu--which I would never admit on imamother because that really would finger me.

amother

Papaya

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 12:32 am

amother wrote:

Why would you use your screen name if it's personal?

I honestly don't get ppl that use their screen names for certain things. You could put their whole family together it's one thing if they want to expose themselves but how do they know that their siblings and relative want everything aired out.
If I lived in Lakewood or crown heights it's so easy to figure out who some of these imamothers are.
Please respect your family if not yourself.
If you want to say what you do on a date night that's one thing please don't tell us what your sisters do.
I'll stop here.

amother

Mustard

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 2:19 pm

I totally figured out another amother but it was an anonymous post so I don't know her screenname. Still, her post was somewhat personal and I would never tell her that I figured it out. There's a small chance she's figured me out too, but since I figured her out pretty quickly, I kept my (anonymous) posts on that thread generic enough that it would be difficult for her to figure me out.

Chayalle

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 2:32 pm

I've been pm'd by other posters who were sure I was the amother behind a certain post, when I wasn't. So you can never be absolutely sure....

Beyond that, I don't care if people IRL know who I am on here. If I feel something is personal, I can always use the anonymous feature.

How open I want to be about something is my personal choice, and I don't give a hoot if someone else feels that they would make different personal choices.

greenfire

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 2:46 pm

the problem I have found with people who presume they know me ... is quite often they refuse to make it a two-way street ...

but if you're a stranger on the street - wouldn't it be funny to say hey aren't you greenfire ~ lol or maybe not

amother

Goldenrod

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 4:36 pm

Depends who. I usually post anon so my SN should be safe. If someone recognizes a post or two they may be right and they may be wrong. They still can't go back and search all my posts. I once had someone ask if I posted a specific post that was in the spouses of s ex addicts forum. I didn't but she gave away that she was married to one or at very least had reason for being in that forum. Ooops. (I don't think she realized that)

amother

Mustard

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 6:10 pm

amother wrote:

This is exactly why I don't understand people who get so upset when people want to be anonymous. There is no rule on this site that you can't or shouldn't be anonymous, it's everyone's own choice!! And yes I have the same philosophy when it comes to keeping my an "safe".

Fabulous

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 6:16 pm

seeker wrote:

I'm pretty sure that was me Smile

nicole81

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 6:24 pm

Chayalle wrote:

I've been pm'd by other posters who were sure I was the amother behind a certain post, when I wasn't. So you can never be absolutely sure...

I think it's really obnoxious to PM people about their amother posts. If someone is deliberately trying to keep something anonymous using amother, that should be honored. Correctly identifying someone and letting them know could be terribly embarrassing for them, and really, what point does that serve?

On a personal note, if someone figures out who I am from posts under my screen name, I couldn't care less. I've never tried to be anonymous here from the get go.

amother

Black

Thu, Feb 09 2017, 9:57 pm

amother wrote:

Are you my sil? The description is exactly the same as my situation and I figured out your sn a while ago too but I really wasn't sure if I should say something. Text me a winky face if it's you! If it's the wrong person just pretend it was a mistake text Smile

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Also, I knew you figured me out.