For those who make their daughter wear tights after age 3

gold21

Sat, Feb 25 2017, 10:56 pm

Squishy wrote:

Would you answer honestly about the leggings if it meant your kids wouldn't be accepted in school?

Mainstream litvish schools don't ask potential mothers if they wear leggings. They ask for a form about internet access to be filled out and signed. They include a letter about the dress code they expect from their parent body. There is never a "do you wear leggings" question. They feel you out during the interview process, ask for a signed form regarding internet access, and take it from there.

I usually try not to wear leggings when I'm going to drop something off at my kids school, cuz they have a sign hanging by the entrance that women should not show up in a Makom Torah wearing gym clothing (leggings, sweatshirts, etc).

By the way, as an aside, my leggings are labelled as "footless tights" so they really are tights material, not pants material. They're good for the summer when it's too hot for tights and keeps my legs covered for tznius purposes. Not that I always cover my legs, but I try to.

amother

Aqua

Sat, Feb 25 2017, 11:07 pm

Squishy wrote:

What is accepted outside of Monsey is different than in-town. I am sure you are, an excellent mom with an excellent family. But the externals matter here. Every mother with leggings is definitely rated as bummy or modern or less-than by those that don't wear leggings except maybe by others who also wear leggings. Leggings immediately telegraph you are modern. It is completely looked down here. I am sorry.

What I mean by most schools is all the Monsey schools including chassidish schools.

The schools may not be aware of what the mothers are doing outside of the schools, but I don't believe anyone is knowingly accepting mothers who wear leggings including YSV. Mrs. Kokish, the girls principal, questions what the mothers wear when applying to the school. She wants mothers who wear skirts with stockings. She does not want leggings and short socks.

I cant resist. I wear leggings in the winter with booties. I send to Bais Dovid 😊

33055

Sat, Feb 25 2017, 11:08 pm

gold21 wrote:

What do you wear on your feet?

33055

Sat, Feb 25 2017, 11:42 pm

gold21 wrote:

I can't answer about all schools, but you brought up YSV. Mrs. Kokish, the principal, asks about this. I don't know if she asks everyone, but she definitely asks some ladies. If you answer honestly that you try to keep your legs covered but aren't always successful, I don't think you would get in absent connections.

gold21

Sat, Feb 25 2017, 11:48 pm

Squishy wrote:

I would be happy to find out for you, I'll ask around, if this was a question in their interview.

Look, bottom line, I know families that are more "modern" than me that attend YSV.

I do think that I would, in all likelihood, get in. Tongue Out

Not that we are likely to ever find out since to send my kids to school in Monsey would be quite a feat, and would require a personal helicopter. Tongue Out

Last edited by gold21 on Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:19 am; edited 1 time in total

33055

Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:18 am

gold21 wrote:

I would be happy to find out for you, I'll ask a few friends if this was a question in their interview.

Look, bottom line, I know families that are more "modern" than me that attend YSV.

I do think that I would, in all likelihood, get in. Tongue Out

Not that we are likely to ever find out since to send my kids to school in Monsey would be quite a feat, and would require a personal helicopter. Tongue Out

You haven't answered if you would answer her honestly.

Anyway, there are modern families there. And there are non-frum families there also. I personally know of three. What is answered at interviews is sometimes different then reality or people change after the interview.

While leggings aren't an acid test, most schools will not accept modern people in the elementary schools. And by most I mean the vast majority of schools. I think Ateres accepts modern. Asher and Hebrew Academy in New City accept modern people from Monsey. Even Monsey Chabad has in-town standards.

Some of the boys from YSV have been problems when it comes to high schools. I know of only one or two that accepts boys who wear colored shirts.

gold21

Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:25 am

Squishy wrote:

This was a disappointing post full of generalities....

No, I would not lie in an interview.

How do you define "modern"? Ateres is not MO but Ashar is. They are worlds apart.

Non-frum families in YSV? That's odd. A bit hard to believe. Can you explain?

Personally, Ateres is to the left of me hashkafically, and I think YSV would be a good fit. I don't think I would have trouble getting in, space constraints aside. Sorry. Tongue Out

Wearing leggings doesn't make someone "modern".

Wearing colored shirts isn't "modern". Is that even a thing anymore, the colored shirts thing? Besides for chassidish and very yeshivish, I'm pretty sure most men have some colored shirts.

I know wonderful YSV boys who found a wonderful high school easily.

You need to realize that not everyone sees the world through a chassidish lens..... Wink

You're a well thought out poster, but it's obvious that you're filtering things through a chassidish viewpoint, and that's fine and perfectly reasonable, but YSV isn't chassidish.

I know you won't back down from your viewpoint, and neither will I, so I guess let's just call this one even. Deal? Can we call it even? Still friends?

Last edited by gold21 on Sun, Feb 26 2017, 1:12 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Denim

Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:43 am

For all those suggesting leggings, it's not just RW yeshivish or chassidish schools that don't allow it. My daughter is in a RW MO school that does not require legs to be covered entirely. The girls must wear skirts that cover the knee and socks that cover the ankles. But leggings under skirts are forbidden. My 8 year old daughter wears tights in the winter, but once the weather warms up she wears shorts under her skirt so she can play without anyone seeing her underwear. She wears leggings under her skirt on non school days if she wants because the school does not legislate what students or their families wear when not on school property.

I can't imagine trying to force a child to wear tights in the summer. I have a hard enough time getting my daughter to wear anything at all on her feet at home. I happily wear tights all winter long for warmth but can't bear extra layers in the heat.

P.S. After this thread and a few others I am so happy I do not live in Monsey.

Edited to correct autocorrect and to LOL at my amother color. Denim is a staple of my wardrobe, but I don't think it would fly in the neighborhoods that insist that 3 year olds wear tights.

33055

Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:44 am

gold21 wrote:

This was a disappointing post full of generalities....

No, I would not lie in an interview.

How do you define "modern"? Ateres is not MO but Ashar is. They are worlds apart.

Wearing leggings doesn't make someone "modern".

Wearing colored shirts isn't modern.

I know wonderful YSV boys who found a wonderful high school easily.

Not everyone sees the world through a chassidish lens.... Wink

Everything in this discussion has to be generalities because we are talking about composite parents bodies.

I know families that send to Ateres/Asher/Hebrew Academy/YSV who watch TV. Would you agree that TV watching is modern?

I knew some troubled girls at Ateres. Admin throw out some but let others stay. By troubled I mean smoking cigarettes and having boyfriends. Is that modern or just troubled?

What is wearing colored shirts in a community where it isn't done if it isn't modern? I know schools that won't accept because of the fathers' shirts.

YSV accepts families from different spectrums. They have some kids that watch TV and some that don't. Some have no trouble getting into high schools while others must go out of town.

Wearing leggings so they are visible marks someone as modern. You will see this more in Westley Kosher than All Fresh. There is definitely a type.

In the gym many ladies will not even wear leggings in the womens only workout areas. They will wear tights and a skirt. Some wear covered sheitals even.

gold21

Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:46 am

amother wrote:

Makes sense.
Once kids are in first grade, there's usually a dress code, that doesn't apply outside school. My kids schools have a strict dress code. Is there a dress code in the preschool?

gold21

Sun, Feb 26 2017, 12:51 am

Squishy wrote:

Is TV watching modern? Hard to say. I dunno. I mean, I personally don't have a TV, but c'mon, plenty of chassidish families have TVs, even if they don't publicize it.

Ateres has some troubled students? I had heard that, yes. But how is that relevant? I'm sure chassidish schools have had their issues too.

YSV does not mind if their parent body wears colored shirts.

Leggings does not mark someone as modern.

OK. Anyway.... A Gitte Nacht!

Last edited by gold21 on Sun, Feb 26 2017, 1:36 am; edited 6 times in total