Life in Upper West Side UWS

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 11:02 am

we are thinking about moving to Upper West side from out of town to have a bigger jewish life. We decided Manhattan is the best fit for us. Decided on UWS since I hear it has a bigger jewish community who are more right than UES.

I would love to know how life is in UWS. We have 3 kids. Oldest 9 and youngest 3. We are considering MDS as a school option or commuting to NJ schools but was told it would be a big shlepp for us.

Both my husband and I grew up in big European cities and are very cultural and like meeting meeting new people, eating out, socializing in general. We are pretty much right wing MO I guess.

We live in a out of town community currently and used to having a big house and a yard etc. We are ok with giving that up to have the NYC amenities but not sure how family life is in the city. What do kids do on shabbos, do people host for meals (given the small size of the apartments), how is social scene in general, is it easy to make friends, etc. We want to know more about the kids life in general. Also, do people own cars if not how is to run errands.

I know schools and apartments are very expensive and we are ok with that for now.

Thanks

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 11:55 am

I have been living n the uws for 20+ years and we have raised two girls here. I love the community. Frumkeitwise, there are shuls and groups for whatever "shnit" you are in, yet all groups get along. There are big shuls, shtiblach, Yeshiva minyanim, etc. There is an active bikur cholim, and shiurim of all kinds for men, women and mixed. Many of the men have chaburos in the kollel at night and on weekends. There are plenty of kosher food options and some good restaurants as well as pizza shops, bagel places and cafes. I sent my younger DD to MDS and was very happy with it. Boys and girls are separate from, I think 5th grade. I grew up out of town so may be less concerned than some people about them being together till then, but I was very happy with it educationally and found it a warm, nurturing environmen. She went to MHS for high school. Older DD commuted which was right for her, but, as you say, less convenient. If you do want to do that there are a few good options for girls schools. Yeshiva Ketana (the all boy elementary school") is a good school. I don't have boys but my friends all seem very happy wth it. The nicest Thing about the UWS community is that despite there being different groups, we all know each other and are friendly. Your kids will NOT grow up closed minded about people who wear different head gear. In that sense there is more like an out of town community than most NY communities. As far as culture, there are museums galore, music, theater, etc. Because we don't have back yards, UWS children spend a lot of time in the parks, and, in the winter, in museums. If there is anything else you would like to know, please ask.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 12:33 pm

amother wrote:

Wow, that was really helpful. Thank you, everyone, for responding.

Seagreen, everything you said represents the exact reasons that we are so excited to move to NYC. The fact that the children will not be closed minded is very important for us as well as the fact that everyone seems to get along well regardless of background. I'm still not clear as to what shabbos is like in the city. Do people host a lot? The apartments seem small so I'm not sure how much that happens. Where do the kids play on shabbos especially in the winter months? Also, on shabbos, when kids have play dates, is it a common thing to let your 9 year old walk a couple of blocks or not so much? Area wise, we are looking for places from 75th to 96th. Are there specific blocks that are better to focus on where there are more families with children? School-wise, I know it's been some time since your kids graduated but do you know anyone whose kids are still at MDS and what they think of the general and Judaic studies as well as the general middos? Lastly, we are really trying to get a better understanding as to what there is to do during the winter in general especially with boys. Besides going to museums what else is there to do? We are extremely excited for what the city has to offer for adults but are trying to understand better what is has to offer for kids.

Thanks in advance.

seeker

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 1:54 pm

Some buildings have playrooms for kids, usually there's an annual membership cost but it's a good way to stave off cabin fever in the winter.

You'd probably want to walk your 9-year-old to her playdate or send her with an older sibling/friend.

MDS is a nice school, but I'm not sure what to compare to because I don't think there are other RWMO schools in the area. I'm familiar with a number of Manhattan schools but the ones I know of are either much less observant than MDS or much more chareidish. In terms of finding a middle ground I think MDS pretty much nails it. So I don't know how it compares with middle-ground schools elsewhere because I haven't seen those. The academics seemed pretty standard to me. I want to say average but that has a negative connotation which is not what I mean - I just mean normal. They do have enrichment programs, a lot of technology integration, and all the things that are expected in an MO school and often absent in more yeshivish schools such as full programs in gym, art, etc.

The city has a LOT to offer kids. I can't say I'd necessarily choose it over out-of-town living for that reason alone, because I think there's a lot to be said for more low-key, unstructured living, but we are never bored here! First of all, there's not just "going to museums." There are so MANY museums and they are so different and offer so many programs that you could really get around without feeling like "oh another museum?" that soon. But there are also all kinds of extracurricular classes and activities all over. Besides the times you'll just want to spend at home, which does happen, as well as things like friends' birthday parties and other time-fillers. Also, it's not Alaska, even in the winter there are usually days you'll want to spend more of outside.

FranticFrummie

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 2:29 pm

Honestly, it depends on the block. I used to live on 79th and Riverside, and it was lovely. A bit noisy with the freeway right there, but my apartment had roof access, and the view across the Hudson was totally worth it.

You have Rebbetzin Jungreis (OBM) 's shul on 72nd. Then there's the 79th St bagel factory. Don't know if they still have a heksher, but worth checking out. Oh, and shopping at Balducci's! Expensive, but so worth it for a nice treat.

Easy access on the Broadway subway line to anything and everything. I worked at a temp agency that had me going all over Manhattan, and I never had any problems getting anywhere.

I was there as a single, back in the early 90's, but it was such good times! I have lots of happy memories of living in NYC.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 2:40 pm

seeker wrote:

Seeker, thank you for the response. It sounds like you still live there. Can you tell me about the shabbos experience?

seeker

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 2:52 pm

I don't live on the UWS, I just know NYC in general and because I work in education I have some feel for the schools.

Though I do believe there is plenty of Shabbos visiting/hosting, small apartments notwithstanding. Sociable people will be social everywhere, and it seems to be a very friendly community overall. I'm not even sure how small the apartments are, could it be that you just think of them as tiny because you're coming from OOT? Because I know several people who live there with families with kids, and while I know there are people who live in very cramped quarters in various parts of the world, I'm pretty sure these families would have moved out if it were that bad. If you can afford to live on the UWS then you can probably also afford to move out of the city if you don't have room to move around.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 3:57 pm

Sorry for the delay in responding, forestgreen. I went to a street fair with DD.To answer your questions: there is a huge culture of inviting people on shabbos -- both the singles (who we all know and try to marry off Smile

) and family and friends. A 9 year old would probably not walk to a play date on their own, although that varies. DD had friends who walked out on their own at 7. I let mine walk home from school at more like 11. I have friends who still have kids in MDS and like it a lot. The school is known to excel at midos. It is a school where being nice is built into the curriculum. Seeker is correct that if what you are looking for is a RWMO school on the UWS, MDS is it, especially for girls. Some RWMO send their boys to yeshiva ketana which provides a good secular education too. You need to bear in mind that UWS is not Brooklyn, etc., and even a single gender school here will have a certain breadth to it.
Other activities for the kids: there are parks, playgrounds and a local zoo. Older kids ice skate and play tennis in the park. My younger DD goes to a free fencing class in the park. There are free outdoor concerts and Shakespeare in the park. I asked a friend what boys do in the winter and she said that MDS has sports clubs for both genders (karate, basketball, etc.) I know that yeshiva ketana has basketball one night a week but I am not sure where. Some people belong to the JCC which has swimming, track, etc. I don't know what your kids do where you currently live but most likely they can do it here, unless it's very specifically an outdoor sport like skiing, riding or hiking. Those are available outside the city.

amother

Forestgreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 4:59 pm

amother wrote:

Thank you so much for the detailed reply. Everything you said is really exciting. It sounds like socialization and activities for the kids are not a worry and that is relieving.

Seagreen, do you think there are any blocks we should be focusing on or steering clear of? Are the mid 90's too far up? I don't know if there are any areas that tend to have a higher concentration of families.

Is there anyone that sends to Yeshiva Ketana or knows a good deal about it in comparison to MDS?

Also, if there is anyone that would be willing to PM me that knows families that send to MDS with whom we can speak, that would be wonderful. I have two boys going into 4th and 2nd and a 3 year old daughter.

amother

Seagreen

Sun, Jun 04 2017, 5:33 pm

Both DH and I grew up out of town and when we realized we were expecting, we could not imagine how a child can be raised happily here, without a back yard and trees to climb. bottom line -- it's fine but it's a different experience. I was raised in the Pacific Northwest and probably went to a museum at most 4-5x during my childhood. My kids went as much as a couple of times a week. Te museum of natural history has activities and classes galore, plus wide spaces for small children to move in.

I live in the very upper 80's so I am biased but I think that ideally you would want to live in the 80's or very low 90's. But there are nice neighborhoods pretty much all the way from the 70's to high 90's. In general I would stay west of Amsterdam. There are blocks east of Amsterdam that are just fine, but that's on a case by case basis. Probably you want to come for a shabbos or a least for a day and walk around.

amother

Denim

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 6:09 am

I grew up on the UWS. While there are the nice things like the fact that you can walk so many place apartment living is definitely tough especially with kids. We've had neighbors on top of us who would make such a ruckus that our chandelier would shake on a regular basis. I learned that family friends didn't like other family friends of ours because one couldn't stand the walking of the other, I remember babysitting for someone who told me that I had to make sure the kids were very quiet and didn't go in to certain rooms because the downstairs neighbor was very grumpy- they ended up moving to the suburbs....

Personally I wouldn't want to raise my kids there. I think it's great for teenagers until you have babies but that's just me.

amother

Forestgreen

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 7:10 am

amother wrote:

we have a friend who lives in the 85th area and he told us the same thing as well. To stay in the 80s blocks. It just seems like you get many newly uodated apartments in the 96th, 97th blocks though.

Have you had any noise issues while your kids were small like someone above mentioned? I grew up in a big apartment in a big European city and remember having issues with our neighbours because of noise:))) It was a way of life for us!!

Not having a backyard, pool or a big playroom will be big adjustment for our kids but I am sure they will be ok. Our thinking is if we dont like the city living we can always move to the sububrbs.

Lani22

Mon, Jun 05 2017, 7:25 am

We recently moved to nj after living on the UWS for 10 yrs and we all miss the city (my kids are 8, 6 and 1). We moved because we could only afford to rent a 2 bedroom apartment and we needed more space. We sent our kids to yeshiva katana and were happy. It's a small, warm school where everyone knows each other and everyone is involved. I miss everything about the city except our small living quarters. I miss walking my kids to school, going to the park and museums. I even miss doing my errands by foot. I miss putting my baby in it's stroller and just wandering the neighborhood with a friend. I miss hopping on the subway with my kids on a lazy sunday afternoon to explore. My kids absolutely loved it and say they'd trade our big house for our small apartment in the city in a second. Shabbas in the city was lovely. Lots of people host for meals and on winter shabbas afternoon we arranged playdates in the summer everyone is in the park. I'll be honest the number one reason I wanted to move was bc I had to stop hosting on shabbas bc of our small living quarters. It just became to crowded. I would look for an apartment with a separate diningroom or a larger living space over more bedrooms.