Our yard has become the shortcut

Tzutzie

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 8:48 am

amother wrote:

We don't want to turn this into a battle with the neighbors. We really would like to keep the peace while somehow still maintaining our privacy. Perhaps that is not possible?

Someone else in our comunity pved a pathway, amd put up a fence next to it. So they basically gave up a strip of their property. They planted very tall bushes right after the fence to create privacy.

If you have the money and are willing to do that, that would be very kind. But your property will still be a place where people are passing in front of your house constantly.

amother

Pearl

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 8:50 am

allthingsblue wrote:

You sound like me. I have a hard time standing up for myself at someone else's expense. For example, I had a cleaning lady who was very inconvenient for me because I had to drive her home or pay for her can, and she wasn't the best cleaner... But for the longest time I felt like I had to keep using her because I felt bad putting her out of a job. (I finally did tell her I no longer need her, and I use someone with her own transportation who is a fabulous cleaner, and I'm so much happier).

I don't know if that's what it is... I'm really not looking to protect my rights here. I can open my mouth I just wonder if that's the right thing to do and cause issues.

amother

Amber

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 8:52 am

amother wrote:

I don't know if that's what it is... I'm really not looking to protect my rights here. I can open my mouth I just wonder if that's the right thing to do and cause issues.

Opening your mouth = won't help = people thinking they have the right and you're wrong = you getting madder every time and wasting emotional negative energy
Putting up fence = good neighbors = peace

Tzutzie

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 8:54 am

amother wrote:

Opening your mouth = won't help = people thinking they have the right and you're wrong = you getting madder every time and wasting emotional negative energy
Putting up fence = good neighbors = peace

This. You are taking back what is rightfully yours. THEY ate causing issues by using your property without permission.

amother

Powderblue

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:02 am

My parents had this issue and put up a tall fence. All you need is one person to fall on your property and sue you. They didn't need that headache. The problem stopped immediately with the fence up.

amother

White

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:12 am

amother wrote:

Honestly all other issues aside, a fence is not financially realistic for us right now

Put up a sign to start.

The mind set of most of the people trampling through your space is probably 'oh they don't mind'.

notshanarishona

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:13 am

It's not possible to maintain your privacy and keep the neighbors happy with you. It's one or the other. People will get mad at you and call you selfish etc... if you block it. It's your right but people won't like you for it.

amother

Fuchsia

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:36 am

amother wrote:

Honestly all other issues aside, a fence is not financially realistic for us right now

In that case, get a "Beware of Pit Bull" sign while you save up for a fence.

jflower

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:48 am

I too think that a fence is a great idea. But what will prevent people from just opening the gate and walking through the yard? I assume that homeowner will not want to keep the gate locked which will force her to use a key to get out.

33055

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:51 am

jflower wrote:

Because you don't put a gate in the backyard. Or if you do, you put a lock on it.

amother

Periwinkle

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 9:56 am

Amother who posted earlier about our chain-link fence not being enough of a deterrence- that was backyard fence that required climbing.

OP, at a minimum ask a rav what to do to prevent a chazaka of your land being a public pathway as another pp mentioned. I've heard of that issue too, and I don't know what counts in terms of a sign or fence, gate or no gate.

crust

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 10:14 am

amother wrote:

Haha was going to screenshot that post to send to my husband so we could do something while we still have a chance LOL

Do it! I think the earlier the better is also very important just because people get used to your shortcut. Leaving it on for longer, and then removing it will give you more potential haters.

Yes people were fuming because they were spoiled. That's human nature. If you give something for free, people don't appreciate it. But if you take that free service away, they suddenly realise it, and then are upset at the inconvenience.
On the other hand theres the saying; ershte rigza, is the best rigza. If you nip this in the bud, it might be inconvenient in the begining but everyone will get used to the fact; there is no shortcut!
Regarding the expense, maybe if you leave a 2 feet pathway, the neighbors will be willing to share the expense.

amother

Mint

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 10:21 am

It's not clear from your post if the path was there before you bought or if it was made after you moved in. I know that when we moved into our house a few years back, there was a path through 2 houses at the end of 2 cup de sacs and it was used as a selling point. Both houses knew there was a path and bought knowing the Jewish community would be growing and the path would be used more and more. If that's the case than you can do/say whatever you feel is best but it might be harder to stop the traffic. Especially if the other side doesn't care. If they made the path without permission after you bought than you should probably have stopped it as soon as it started- it will be harder to stop now that ppl are used to it. Either way it will probably end in bad feelings but you seem to be aware of that - you have to decide if your privacy is worth bad feelings with neighbors

LittleDucky

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:21 am

Put up a fence! Do something temporarily but put something up! And hang a sign so they don't just take it down or climb over it.

I don't know why people assume they have rights to trespass on your property. They can go around the block. I would be worried about if someone fell or got injured on your property- I assume it is not well lit? Yes it is a risk they took while committing a crime of trespass but they might go after your homeowners insurance which will increase your rates. They might think " that's why they have insurance so I won't have to pay and they won't have to" or their medical insurance will go after your homeowners policy.

As an aside, why is it frum Yidden who think they can violate others rights? Personal privacy, property ownership etc. I don't see people on here complaining about not Jewish neighbors- even the OP said it started when more Frum people moved in. Why?? What if OP wasn't frum? Think of the chillul Hashem?!!!

pond user

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:31 am

I know you want to be kind, but I think it would be kinder to give these people a little daily exercise. I don't know where you live, But where I live the Jewish community have the highest rate of obesity and the biggest killer is heart disease amongst us.

Do them a real chesed and let them walk a little longer. I'm sure the non-jews who lives amongst you before would also find the shortcut convenient. How come we are so comfortable trespassing in order to make our lives easier? Lazy much?

Ruchel

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:31 am

Woooaaaaah.

My parents had this problem. They ended up putting a fence. The trespassers were NOT frum. Nor did anyone sue them, including the ones that did get hurt messing around (if anything they were afraid). But yes, fence it in.

Iymnok

Sun, Jul 16 2017, 11:36 am

Plant climbing vines and build simple trellises for them.
Get pallets and build a fence. Paint it white. Point the tops to give a white picket look.
Just get the posts and string rope between them. It won't keep the determined out, but does get the message across.
Get a bunch of cheap menacing looking lawn gnomes. NO ONE will attempt to trespass such a formidable force!
Hang up a sign that says, "for wheelchair access only".

I'm sure I could think of other ideas.