One of Us (new documentary about ex-Chassidish ppl)

creditcards

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 3:28 am

crust wrote:

Wow. I would love to know which community you are referring to. Breslov?
And out of intrest, if someome were to question your rebbe, would that person still be accepted? Would that person be understood and LOVED by the community?

If anyone was to question your mother or your husband would you put up with it? My Rebbe is very dear to me, if someone would speak bad about him I would be terribly insulted. I wouldn't let them continue talking
But I always act nicely and my community includes everyone no matter what level Jew they are.
There is a difference between not being so observant, or not observant at all and being hostile and ridiculing holy tzadikim...if someone would be ridiculing my Rebbe I would not tolerate it.

In fact I have a very close relative that's semi otd and he is treated very nicely. My husband has a close friend from yeshiva that's otd and they always schmooze. My husband has a workmates that's otd and he always tries to lift his spirit. I have a few litvish neighbors that commented how comfortable they feel with our community.

shabbatiscoming

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 8:24 am

amother wrote:

Is it possible if you can take it off I just realized who the player is. He is from a Rebbish family. He nebach went thru [private info removed] as a boy. Please as respect for the family can we take down the post

Its not a player. its a documentary, about their lives. A true story. Im sure whatever you know about this guy is on the documentary already.

amother

Azure

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 8:53 am

I wanted to respond to those stating that Etty or others in the film have issues or are mentally ill. Now I don't know them personally and I'm not saying that they definitely aren't because I have no idea. But it seems that in Chassidish communities, it's common for someone who leaves the community to be viewed by their families and greater community as mentally ill. I think it's important to note that a chassidishe family may take their daughter to a psych ward for smoking or for wearing a sleeveless shirt when society at large would see those behaviors as perfectly normal.

crust

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 8:59 am

creditcards wrote:

I'll pm you.

leah233

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 9:34 am

dancingqueen wrote:

I do notice that this thread is full of LH about the ex chassidim who appear in this film. It's kind of ironic because it seems like that's one of the points of the film, that people who leave face a lot of backlash from their community.

It doesn't prove point that point at all. I'm a lot less sympathetic to the OTD crowd than I'm supposed to and used to be. But still I distinguish between someone who went OTD and minds their own business and someone who is a career OTD.

This film is the latter attacking Orthodox Judaism. Pointing out how they are lying is not backlash because they went OTD. It is backlash against a smear campaign they initiated.

amother

Jade

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 9:38 am

das wrote:

I was not the original poster who wrote about Etty. But Six of Wands, Etty is a very sick woman with major mental issues and an actual diagnosis. The fact that the producers use her a subject when her mental issues--and inability to tell the difference between fact and fantasy--are clearly known to even her OTD friends and helpers at Footsteps is very troubling.

How do you know that she had a real diagnosis? And why did her family agree to marry her off to a perfectly healthy man if they knew that she was mentally ill? It doesnt make sense especially in the chasidishe community to make a shidduch like that so it must be that Ettys family lied, either to her friends/classmates or to the shadchan/chassans family about her mental illness. But even if she were really mentally ill, and everyone, including the shadchan and the chassans family, knew about it then why is it not possible for the husband to abuse her? Especially since its more common for people who have problems and/or were abused growing up to attract abusers when they are older so it is possible for her husband to have abused her then deny it and point out that she is too mentally ill to know the truth. After all, why would he marry a girl with a well known mental illness if he himself is not abusive or even mentally ill as well?
I wonder what the story would be if he had been OTD while she stayed religious. Would you still say she was a liar and mentally ill or would he have been the one who was mentally ill who abused his poor religious wife? Because it seems like the community automatically sides with the party that stays frum while the OTD party is automatically mentally ill to the point where its hard to take any of these allegations (of mental illness of OTD people) seriously.

creditcards

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 9:39 am

imasoftov wrote:

How would you stop them?

It never happened to me yet, so not sure what I would do. Most OTD in my community wouldn't bash my Rebbe. My Rebbe treats them very warmly. We all understand that an OTD needs some extra warmth. People in the community usually help them find jobs so they should feel good about themselves and not end up with drugs. They are treated nicer than the average person.

amother

Gray

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 9:41 am

amother wrote:

That IS the case in many instances, that those who leave are viewed by their families as mentally ill. In this case, Etty was "viewed" as mentally ill way long before she left the community.

creditcards

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 9:57 am

amother wrote:

I"'ll borrow trumps expression.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
People are taken to the psych ward if they are suicidal, and are dangerous to themselves to prevent them from killing themselves.

crust

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 10:11 am

leah233 wrote:

Career OTD. Brilliant word.
I love it.

Maya

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 11:11 am

creditcards wrote:

I"'ll borrow trumps expression.
WRONG.
WRONG.
WRONG.
People are taken to the psych ward if they are suicidal, and are dangerous to themselves to prevent them from killing themselves.

Maybe in your world.

You have said here that you are part of a Chassidish community that is not mainstream, and not like the majority of mainstream contemporary Chassidish communities. Perhaps you should refrain from projecting your experiences onto the majority of the Chassidish world, where the culture and lifestyle is very different than yours.

pause

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 12:00 pm

Maya wrote:

Maya, really?

creditcards

Sun, Sep 10 2017, 12:03 pm

Maya wrote:

Again wrong.
Majority of chasidim are very warm and gentle to OTD. And try to help them out as much as possible. There are a small group of chasidim that are actually manipulators and dictators, majority of chasidim are not like them. We all know who that group is, or maybe 2 groups. This small group who harass OTD people will also harass other chasidim that are not like them, they will also harass a family member who changed a small thing like a different head covering because now there family is not picture perfect like it was until now. I have a friend who her father wouldn't speak to her because she put on a wig and her family covers with a tichel (arupgebinden). They are not the mainstream chasidim. Sadly that group has the most OTD compared to other chasidim, because they are not treated nicely when they are a little different and they have no choice but to leave. These small group of chasidim speak badly about other chasidim too who are not like them. They speak badly about all gedolim and they are not doing it l'shem shamayim but for their ego. Again, they are only a small group of chasidim and not the mainstream.
It is not fair to judge all chasidim based on them.