Is cleaning help a necessity or luxury

Blessing1

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 7:58 am

For some it's necessary for some it's a luxury. You don't have to die without it in order for it to be a necessity. Sometimes it's necessary for our peace of mind & mental health.
For some it's also a necessary luxury as another poster has mentioned.

Chayalle

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 7:58 am

browser wrote:

Its true chayelle, but why is it that with all this technology life is more hectic than ever in the 21st century?

Because life has shifted and there are way more expectations of us. They lived much more simple, home-based lifestyles.

How many of the tasks that we do today did our great-grandmothers do? Carpool anyone? Did their kids have the kind of h.w. expectations our kids have?

debsey

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 7:59 am

vicki wrote:

No question that it is a luxury.
The difference of opinion is in our conflicting definitions of "necessity".

Necessity = without which I would die. (Not without which I would live in a dirty house and be very very stressed... and yell a lot. And even cry.)

Food = necessity
Clothing = necessity
Shelter = necessity

Cleaning help = luxury.

But, please, if it raises your quality of life, gezunte heit.

I disagree.

I think that an emotionally healthy mommy is a necessity, and if Mommy burns herself out trying to be all things to all people, she won't be emotionally healthy.

I know women (myself included) who put themselves in dangerous situations, trying to "do it all." When you have 3 kids under 5, and are pregnant, and are working, and then you ignore pains in your abdomen because you "just want to put in that last kugel" or "just want to finish the dishes", you could end up really sick.

I strongly believe that anything that keeps you alive is a necessity.

Mommyg8

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:00 am

vicki wrote:

Bread and water - necessity
One pair of clothing - necessity
Tin roof, mud floors - necessity

If everything more than the above is a luxury, then yes, cleaning help is a luxury. For someone who has small children and a job - cleaning help might be a step above bread and water - but not by much. IMHO. Again, I am not talking about 20 hours a week.

amother

Mint

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:03 am

debsey wrote:

Where is daddy in all this?

simcha2

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:04 am

Honestly I think it's a luxury. Growing up we didn't have cleaning help (and my mother always worked outside the home). We had chores, and our house wasn't always picked up. My parent's simply didn't see it as a priority to spend their limited resources on help on the home.

I have cleaning help (and don't currently work outside the home). But that is how we choose to spend our money. But if we had to cutback to make ends meet, the cleaning help would go before we took tzedaka.

Everyone chooses to spend their money.

nicole81

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:11 am

Strictly speaking, it's not a necessity. As others have pointed out, not much in life actually is necessity. For me, the defining question is: would you give tzedaka for a family to have cleaning help? I personally wouldn't. But in terms of prioritizing my own finances, cleaning help is important. We have 5 kids and both work 40-50+ hours a week, but if I couldn't afford regular help, I'd do without and just live in a messier home. We'd all survive just fine.

amother

Mint

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:18 am

debsey wrote:

according to OP's question, Daddy is at his own job in all of this.....

I'm referring to your summary of domestic life.

how is the mother supposed to juggle everything?

Clean house - necessity
Clean clothing - necessity
Healthy food - necessity
Mommy doing Homework with me - necessity
Bath time - necessity
Calm mommy who has time to listen to her kids and imbue them with Simchas HaChaim - necessity.

Mommy doing all of this, herself, with no help - insanity.

amother

Bronze

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:19 am

It's a luxury. No one needs cleaning help, except in the most extreme of cases. I know dozens of women, Jewish and not Jewish, who manage work, children, and home just fine without cleaning help and balk at the idea of a stranger coming into their home and cleaning. I used to have help until I realized how much money we were throwing away that could've been used to save for something like a vacation that benefited the whole family.

goodhousekeeping.com and cleanmama.net are my go-to places to get cleaning tips.

tichellady

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 8:20 am

Who cares what this lady thinks or says? Do what’s right for you and your family.
Having kids is a luxury, sending your kids to private school is a luxury, buying kosher meat is a luxury, having a washer and dryer in your home is a luxury, so why is she focusing on this one luxury among the many that we have. And who said there Is any value in living our lives with just the basics?

vicki

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:01 am

debsey wrote:

You're being subjective. It is not a necessity. The question was objectively speaking.

pesek zman

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:07 am

amother wrote:

I think if people would lower their standards of what a clean house is, cleaning help would be even more of a luxury that it already Is.

I'm not saying to live in filth. And if I could afford to prioritize the cost of cleaning help, I too would get accustomed to a sparkling stovetop and gleaming faucets. But I don't so I make do with what my husband does in terms of cleaning, for which im very appreciative.

Raisin

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:27 am

I've realised there are 2 types of people. People who like cleaning and are naturally tidy, and people who don't. This can be the husband too. A husband who spends 30 minutes a day cleaning up and tidying can make a huge difference.

Those types of people might find a cleaner less necessary at most points in their life.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:47 am

Its definitely a luxury, as are many things in life that people chose to spend on to make their life easier or quality of living better.
Doesn't mean everyone can afford it or that people who spend money on it live luxurious lifestyles.
Why do you have to define it as a necessity to make yourself feel worthy of it?

saw50st8

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:57 am

Absolutely a luxury.

I work full time (I'm out of the house 5:30 am - 4:45 pm) and have 4 young kids (I never know if that's big or small because it depends on the audience). We can't afford cleaning help so we don't have it.

Yes, my house is messier. Yes, my laundry doesn't get folded right away. No, my silver doesn't always sparkle. But I'm also not taking charity to send my kids to school or going in debt to cover it.

But OP, if you can afford it, go right ahead.

amother

Gold

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 9:58 am

It's not a necessity!!! I work full time and don't get home until around 7pm most days( I leave the house 8am). I do not have extra money for cleaning help. I have to do it myself. And yes, I have a couple of kids. After tuition, baby sitter, and all other bills are paid there is nothing left for cleaning help.

I'm truly surprised that some of you would give tzedaka to someone so that they can have cleaning help!! While that is very nice of you, the tzedaka would be better somewhere like tuition for those who really need it, or food, etc..............

mommy3b2c

Thu, Nov 02 2017, 10:08 am

saw50st8 wrote:

Here's the thing.

I have an 11,9, and 2 year old. I have a business but I only work about 1-3 hours a day. All of my kids are in school. I have a dish washer and use plastic. I try to make nice dinners but nothing extraordinary. I have about 13 hours of cleaning help a week.

And still, my laundry doesn't always get folded right away and my silver doesn't always sparkle.

Does that mean there's something wrong with me?