How come people don't care about being fat?

amother

Mint

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 1:50 am

InnerMe wrote:

That's really interesting! I always knew that plural of octopus was octopi. Although come to think of that when do I use that word? Probably one of those words I learned in first grade, that just got stuck there frozen the way I learned it.

And please do enlighten me. When do you use everyday versus every day? I always use the latter.

An everyday event.
I use it every day.

Fox

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 1:52 am

InnerMe wrote:

Exactly. Knowing the true plural of "octopus" plus $8 will get you a soy frattalatte or whatever at Starbuck's.

InnerMe wrote:

And please do enlighten me. When do you use everyday versus every day? I always use the latter.

Unlike the correct plural of "octopus," this is actually useful knowledge:

"Everyday" = "common," as in I wore my everyday shoes.

"Every day" = "each day," as in I eat breakfast every day at 7:30 a.m.

The trick for telling whether you mean everyday or every day is by attempting to insert the word single between every and day. If it makes sense with the word single inserted, you want every day; if it doesn't, you want everyday.

Now, if you're smart, you won't encourage me any more on the topic!

InnerMe

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 2:05 am

Fox wrote:

Got it. I think I never use the first usage of "everyday." It would look weird to me "I wore my every day shoes" Like that break is putting a wall, and just blocks the two words. Doesn't make sense in that context.

And I'd definitely encourage you further in the topic, because language fascinates me as well! Even though I am not nearly as proficient in it's usage and grammar - which I don't ever intend to be simply because I hate the pressure of grammar police. For me writing is something that should be easy, free, no pressure, creative, and flowing. But I do love learning more, but well I guess not on this thread.

And truth I am feeling some pressure while writing this post, which will be examined with your astute eyes:) Ok, feel free. I did say grammar and usage are not my strong points.

LovesHashem

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 3:00 am

I honestly think that even people with disorders making them fat CAN lost weight. They won't be a size 2, but they won't be mamish obese.

The only catch is it can takes hours and hours of work, excersize, portion control, and energy.
For some peopel they'd literally have to devote their life towards it, and may people here have jobs, kids, and an DH or a combination of those.

The honest truth is that you can work towards getting ANYTHING in life, but it will come at a price. So we prioritize. I like food more than spending hours at the gym, and I'm not obese, just fat and well I'm not gaining anything, just not losing. So I'm working slowly on my eating habits. Other people need their sanity, DH, and kids more than hours and hours at the gym.

Some people only need 2 hours at the gym and focusing on their weight, and other people like me would need 5 a week, and other people with thyriod stuff would need 10. But honestly if anyone of us devoted our life to it we'd be thinner.

Excep[t most of us choose to spend our energy in other places.
And honestly, in most cases that's not a bad thing.

Sure many people are a bit lazy, I won't lie. I'm somewhat lazy. I could probably be a bit thinner and still have energy for everything else, but that's my issue- not yours. And still, I'd still be only a bit thinner, not a size two.

Fox

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 4:36 am

InnerMe wrote:

And truth I am feeling some pressure while writing this post, which will be examined with your astute eyes:) Ok, feel free. I did say grammar and usage are not my strong points.

Nope. Friends, whether IRL or online, do not properly notice their friends' weaknesses, whether those include spelling or a tendency toward obesity.

G-d, in His Infinite Wisdom, gave us professional editors and physicians to point out our failings in these areas, and they don't armchair assistants to help them do their jobs.

As far as we're concerned on Imamother, you're an outstanding writer and I'm just fluffy, like any fox might be as she prepares for winter.

Emotional

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 8:29 am

Curiosity brought me back to this thread.😃😃
Southernbubby, I apologize for overreacting. This topic is emotionally laden for me, and for many others.

Yes, with genetic or medical issues many people "can" lose weight, but it's that much harder for them. Not everyone has the strength and willpower to climb Mount Everest wearing bedroom slippers. It can theoretically be done, but at what cost in sanity and everything else in life?

And regarding those who have no issue causing their obesity except for eating too much and too indulgently, I will tell you this:
Every person on Planet Earth has human failings. Everyone has their areas of weakness and struggle. Maybe some struggle in housekeeping, some in money management, some in selfishness, some in parenting, in marriage, in employment, etc etc.

The only difference is that for those who struggle with self-control in their eating, there are no secrets. The results of their weakness are public and available for everyone, and anyone, to see and comment on.

Oh, and some people struggle with judging others.

PinkFridge

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 8:36 am

Fox, a page ago you tapped into what I was thinking.
I make a decent challah. I even know how to make 4 braided challah, 2 different ways.
And if you knew me when I got married - I was truly the bride who knew nothing - you would understand how I could say, "If I could do it, anyone can." I think this is part of OP's thinking too. It's another skill set that anyone can learn and considering the stakes, everyone should learn.

Would that it were that easy....

Emotional

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 8:41 am

PinkFridge wrote:

But it's not a one-size-fits-all skill set that "anyone" can learn. What works for one, may or may not work for the next.
Like you said, if only it were so simple...

amother

Ecru

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 9:16 am

Skipping everyone's reasons why they are overweight despite caring why should I care about being overweight? I used to care very much and worked really hard at it (often to gain the weight back unexpectedly) and then I realized there was no point. There is no real research that shows any health benefits of being a size 6 vs size 14 (all the real problems were associated with much higher weights) My husband finds me perfectly attractive no matter what size I am. I don't feel any better being hungry all the time. If I'm happy and healthy at a size 14 why on earth should I struggle to be a smaller size? To match the medias image of beauty? I just don't see the point.

cbsp

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 9:24 am

For those who say that even people with a medical condition can work to lose weight consider this.
A relative of mine who has always struggled with her weight was just diagnosed with an unrelated autoimmune disease. The Dr. said there are certain foods (entire food groups) she can tell her to avoid that might help when it flares up - but she found that such diets cause so much stress in her patients that the stress ends up triggering the flare up instead.

As far as surgery goes, as my husband said, the surgery (full gastric bypass roux en y ) may have helped him lose half his body weight but it did nothing to fix his "fat" brain. He's just now miserable that he can't eat, especially Shabbos and Yom Tov. And supper. He doesn't regret the surgery at all (he had been facing serious health issues) but it is hard on other fronts.

I think the question can also be asked of people (like me) : "do folks who eat white flour, sugar, margarine, food dyes, eggs, grilled foods, gluten, red meat, soy, nightshades, Trans-fats, processed products, MSG, CSD, pick-the-reviled-food-of-the-week - do they really not know it's bad for them? Or do they know and not care?"

Everyone has at least one area of concern (like Fox and proper grammar) that they've adopted as their cause to champion, usually it's an area that comes naturally to them but sometimes it's the result of a hard won battle with a particular daemon.

amother

Emerald

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 9:28 am

I'm one of those people who needs at least 5 days a week of serious aerobic exercise, plus very carefully controlled food portions, plus another evening 30 min walk every day... to lose 1/2 to one pound a week. No thyroid issues. It's just how my body works. When I was younger I could do the same and lose one to two pounds a week. While everyone else would lose at least 5. I'm not obese "just" overweight. All my weight is "baby weight" from my wonderful children (school aged to teenagers). Yes, I'm still losing the weight many years later. I wasn't one of those lucky ones who lost weight automatically after having the baby. If a 7 lb baby came out I lost maybe 10 lbs. This left me 10-15 lbs stuck on me. I also didn't lose when nursing and I had no time for an intensive exercise regimen when I had babies and toddlers. If I would've waited to lose all the weight between kids I wouldn't have had more than one. So yes, I'm closing on 40 and I'm still chipping away at the weight I gained almost 20 years ago when I was expecting my oldest. I just hope I get it all off before menopause hits because I'm sure once that happens I'll need the same regimen just not to GAIN weight.
I hate when people look at me and judge. I'm more fit than most of the skinny minnies due to all my working out. Yet they look at me like I'm a fat slob because I'm a size 12 Confused

goodmorning

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 9:31 am

Fox wrote:

You see, OP, English language, usage, spelling, and vocabulary are easy for me. I can look at a sentence and intuitively know whether "everday" or "every day" is correct. I can use semicolons correctly, and I even maintain a celebrity crush on Marilyn Manson solely because I can actually hear the semicolons when he speaks. I know that the plural of "octopus" is neither "octopuses" nor "octopi," but "octopodes." Marine biologists, however, use "octopuses" as it gets them beaten up less frequently than "octopodes."

Actually, "octopuses" is considered the standard English pluralization, and is certainly not incorrect. See e.g. both the Merriam-Webster entry (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/octopus) and the Cambridge (https://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/english/octopus). Fowler's considers "octopuses" the only acceptable pluralization.

Octopi is not a terribly egregious error either; the word comes not from Greek but from Latinized Greek, and there's some reason to say that it's consistent with other similar declensions. Not to mention that it has ample precedent, having been used for over 200 years. The answer here by Athanasius is an excellent explanation of this position: https://english.stackexchange......s/271

southernbubby

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 1:36 pm

[quote="Emotional"]Curiosity brought me back to this thread.😃😃
Southernbubby, I apologize for overreacting. This topic is emotionally laden for me, and for many others.

Yes, with genetic or medical issues many people "can" lose weight, but it's that much harder for them. Not everyone has the strength and willpower to climb Mount Everest wearing bedroom slippers. It can theoretically be done, but at what cost in sanity and everything else in life?

And regarding those who have no issue causing their obesity except for eating too much and too indulgently, I will tell you this:
Every person on Planet Earth has human failings. Everyone has their areas of weakness and struggle. Maybe some struggle in housekeeping, some in money management, some in selfishness, some in parenting, in marriage, in employment, etc etc.

The only difference is that for those who struggle with self-control in their eating, there are no secrets. The results of their weakness are public and available for everyone, and anyone, to see and comment on.

Oh, and some people struggle with judging others.[/quote
Love you sweetie, feel good and keep the faith!

amother

Babypink

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 5:33 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

A few years ago I lost 30 lbs. I was dieting, exercising, my thyroid issue actually improved, and I was feeling physically healthier. However it damaged me emotionally. First I was cranky and miserable and had a short fuse. Then I lost a lot of weight and suddenly neighbors who always ignored me suddenly "noticed" me , commenting on how amazing I looked. The more this happened the worse I felt. I started realizing that people didn't think I was "worthy" of their attention before. To me every compliment was a punch in the gut. It came to a point where I just stopped the dieting and I just felt better with myself. I actually felt like I had more "life" in my face when I gained a bit.
Of course I probably should've gone to therapy instead of sabotaging all that hard work I put in.
So when I started eating unhealthy for a time, intentionally, it wasn't because I didn't care . But rather because I cared too much.

Honestly, part of this post is very odd. You lost 30 pounds, started getting compliments which made you feel worse because it made you realize that people didn't compliment you before. So you stopped dieting, gained the weight back, stopped getting compliments and all was good again.
What????

thunderstorm

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 5:41 pm

amother wrote:

Just thank Hashem you don't suffer from such emotional issues. But this did trigger me to start feeling badly about myself. It made me realize I wasn't good enough for being me I was suddenly only good enough for some because I got skinny. These are people I greeted daily and who couldn't be bothered to mutter a hello. But then 25 lbs down they found the need to strike up conversations with me something they would've never done before. I was a lot happier focusing on ME and my soul rather than my body all day.

tweek

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 6:27 pm

Emotional wrote:

Here's a HUG for saying this so beautifully! Hug

amother

Babypink

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 7:01 pm

Bizzydizzymommy wrote:

This saddens me to read this. You just can't win. If you don't acknowledge and compliment people who've lost weight, they will likely be offended. And you're saying that you felt hurt by all the compliments because it made you feel as though they only appreciate you because of your weight loss. So what do you say to people who've lost weight? It seems either way they will be insulted. I'm around 20 pounds overweight. Dieting is HARD. I'm always making excuses about why I can't diet now. Yomtov is coming up, I have 2 weddings next week, or I'm to busy at work. Truth is I love food. Is it possible that at least part of the reason you got off your diet was because it's easier to eat yummy foods then to diet?

amother

Azure

Sun, Nov 12 2017, 7:07 pm

amother wrote:

Had they ALSO complimented her when she weighed more, and ALSO smiled as genuinely when greeting her, the compliments would have been taken graciously.

But when compliments and smiles are only given if your weight is low enough to make you worthwhile to spend time on... well, I'm with Bizzydizzymommy here. Better to be fat and know that your friends are real than to have "friends" fawning around you that are as phony as diet coke.