How come people don't care about being fat?

southernbubby

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 7:59 am

amother wrote:

I rarely post, but I got to tell my story.

Ok, I am not 10 or 15 pounds overweight, but neither am I horribly obese. I'm 170 pounds right now. Pre-kids. Yes, I'm fat. Am I obese? No.

Ok, onto the story how I got here. I grew up in a neglectful home. Sometimes we had food, sometimes we didn't. Because of this, me and my entire family (who is also fat) eat a lot, and do not stop when we are full. This is something I'm trying to work on, but it's very hard. Whenever there is good food, I'll eat, because my body thinks "When is the next time I'll have a good meal?". I was pretty ok, just a bit chubby as I neared my teens. And then my family moved to another country overnight. The stress was too much, combined with my horrible eating habits, and the fact we never had any kosher restraunts where I grew up and now there were tens of them, and bakeries, and candy stores, and so many other things- I gained about 50 pounds in 7 months.

Since then, though I have maintained my weight. I go up and down a bit, but I have looked the same since then.

Some misconceptions:
1. I love salad.
2. I hate Candy.
3. I hate bakeries.
4. I don't like chocolate chip cookies.
5. I'm more into real food than snacks and fast food. I'm just really bad at making it.

Why I am still fat:
1. I am not obese, I am fat. I am still pretty and I have a more healthy body image than most of my friends.
2. I am working on my habits. Listening to my body, and getting a more healthy relationship with food.
3. I'm a DDD, my boobs are biggers than my tummy. I have a lot of good parts about me. I love my face, hair, eyes, my thighs are still okay.
4. I know how to dress well. I wear shorts or tights that sucks my tummy in a bit, and I'm often a M or L in stores, I know what things to wear. I wear clothes where you can see I have a stomach, but it's not in your face, you can't see all my rolls, and your eyes are pulled to other places.
5. I think I'm pretty. Sure, if I lost weight I'd be prettier, but I am still pretty now.
6. I love food and I like my body now, and like I said, I'm not gaining anything, just not losing right now. So I feel kinda safe over here eating my cheesy pasta.

I am working on my eating habits for my health. I'm still young and I fully believe that I need to shape them up before I get older. I need to learn how to cook, listen to my body, etc. I also do want to lose weight, it's hard being the one always in the back, panting hard. Sometimes I do go to stores and the clothes don't fit, or just don't look good, but I have skinny friends who suffer from the latter often for things fitting weird or too tight (tzniyus, while for me to tight means seeing my fat). So I think many different shapes of people go through that one.

It is impossible to address weight loss without addressing the emotional ties to food and it is not as simple as diet and exercise; but it is also emotional support and counseling. That YouTube series called Life at 600lbs (or something like that), shows the weight loss doctor directing the patients to some sort of support groups and counseling or therapy. That is the whole reason that groups like Weight Watchers and OA exist and there are no shortage of online support groups as well but I think live ones probably are more helpful, if a person has the time to go.

Ruchel

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 8:09 am

southernbubby wrote:

The government of the state of Michigan now has a radio ad asking everyone to pledge losing 10% of their body weight and then the state gives them something to show for it but since I listen to the radio while driving, I missed hearing what the prize was. The idea is that losing 10% reduces the likelihood of serious illnesses. They are not advocating being underweight; the whole idea is to avoid illness. I don't know how many takers that they have because they say the whole thing so fast that it is hard to remember the website that you are supposed to log onto. And, if I were truly committed to following their advice, which wouldn't be a bad idea, I would find out how to log onto it.

That's odd and intrusive from a radio. Also, how do they refuse people who don't need to lose weight, or don't need to lose 10%? Won't people who want to participate argue discrimination LOL.

southernbubby

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 8:11 am

Iymnok wrote:

There are studies that show that obesity comes from medical issues more than the other way around.
And yes, my happiness is more valuable to me than my figure.

I would like to see those studies. Our family has hypothyroidism and my sister, who has been on thyroid medicine for years, is very thin and has never been overweight. Other that Cushings syndrome, what illnesses cause obesity?

I recently read something about a Holocaust survivor, who had a weight thrifty gene that kept her from becoming skin and bones while in the concentration camp. When the camps were liquidated, most adults were around 70 lbs while she weighed 140. There are genetic predispositions to obesity, but if you look online, there is no dearth of articles about how to fight genetic predispositions to obesity.

I would agree with you that fighting that genetic predisposition probably means eating a certain way and many people would not be happy having to live like that in order to be thin. I guess that it is a choice and although the OP didn't word her post in a sensitive way, she wants to know why someone makes that choice.

amother

Seagreen

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 8:11 am

amother wrote:

I promise you that this post is not to bash or judge or hurt you in any way. I am someone that has struggled with weight and I understand that the issues are real. However my desire to eat chocolate, ice cream, cookies, junk, and other carbs does not override my desire to look good, fit into my clothes, feel self-confident and pretty and be a fit person.

Sometimes I see an overweight heavy person eating junk food all day long. Donuts, cookies, cake, ice cream all in one day as their diet.

I LOVE LOVE LOVE chocolate and and ice cream and all that good junk food. It is tremendously hard not to only eat that all day and everyday. But I know that I want to feel good and look good so I try to limit it to eating those things rarely. I also know that I feel much better and healthier when I'm eating fruits and vegetables and my body doesn't feel as lethargic as when I do eat junk.

I am wondering why people don't care they're fat. Do you just like the food so much that it's more important than feeling good and looking good?

Awhile back I wrote a post on here that I would rather enjoy chocolate and have a big stomach. One very smart poster told me that I'll only feel that way until it gets to the point that my big stomach isn't worth the chocolate. Well it got to that point a couple years back, and I exercised like crazy, got into shape, and never went back to that again.

So I just wonder if before you become too heavy, is it a conscious choice that you choose food over looking good? Or do you just not realize until it's too late and and by then you've already gained so much more than you ever expected that you can't even begin to get motivated to lose it all?

Some ppl exercise all day to keep fit and are skinny and beutiful but ar rude, nasty, judgmental ppl. Others can be "fat" but nice caring sweet, thoughtful! Go figure Rolling Eyes

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:05 am

tichellady wrote:

Wow people are being so harsh on the op. Obviously there are people who want to lose weight and can’t, no matter how hard they try, but there are also plenty of people who choose not to diet or worry about weight for all sorts of reasons ( they like their curves, it’s too triggering to diet, they believe listening to their body’s eating cues is healthiest, they feel that being large is part of their personality, they have too many issues to deal with that are more pressing ).

I will confess to liking most of the posts till this point (I'm only on p. 2 and Shabbos is calling so I don't know if I will get through more) but I do have to agree with you. I'm not thrilled with the tenor of OP but she is referring to people who's she seen who are, whenever she sees them, making terrible choices. If it's close to 24/7, I understand her curiosity, though I would still be compassionate. But we have no idea how much she's seeing these people, and it's still coming off a trace judgmental. But I wouldn't bash her. Imamother is a place where we can unload all sorts of stuff, this isn't all that bad.

Curious if she feels she's got satisfactory answers. Guess I gotta keep reading.

southernbubby

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:08 am

CatLady wrote:

I'd join in on the discussion if I were able to make the meetup. I wouldn't have just salad, but if anyone would want to share a small pizza with me, I'd be down for it! If creamy pasta is on the menu, I assume we're going milchig. If it's fleishig, I'll have the grilled chicken!

And here's the link to the Michigan challenge. What a great idea!

Disclaimer: I'm 61, with Type 2 diabetes which is under control. By losing weight and eating healthily, I was able to taper off insulin and now I'm only on oral medication. I care much more about being healthy than I do about fitting into a certain dress size.

Wow, thanks Cat, I just signed on and good for you for tapering off of insulin. I wouldn't want you to end up like my mother (OBM) did.

Last edited by southernbubby on Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:11 am; edited 1 time in total

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:08 am

amother wrote:

Wow... way to hide when you bash people, OP.

I’ve been fat since I was a child. I don’t want to call myself a food addict, but eating makes me happy, working out doesn’t. But I wish I had that slim figure- I hate plus sizes. I hate being out of breath. I hate feeling like my kids could be embarrassed by my 220 lb size. According to the doctors, I have no underlying conditions to explain my weight. I just like food and laziness.

But OP, my nameless friend, I decided to make a difference! I joined a gym! I have been busting my fat butt, minimum 3 times a week in aerobic classes (this week I’m doing 5). Treadmills, some machines to tone up. I would push through the CONSTANT back/ hip pain and get into shape!

I switched out my bagels/ donuts/ muffins for a 190 cal protein bar. I’m trying quinoa instead of pasta! My late night cookies/ candy are now a cheese stick or handful of nuts. And after 3 months, you wouldn’t believe how much weight I’ve dropped!

1.5 LBS!!! No, that’s not fifteen. It’s “ONE. POINT. FIVE. POUNDS.” One and a half pounds. 3.3 kilograms.

I’m still out of breath. My clothes still feel about the same. My back still hurts me EVERY DAY. So what’s the big difference between old me and new me? I might kill someone for a donut!

So please.... Rethink your “I’m not judging you but you should try not to be fat” mentality. You are not Hashem. You have no right to judge the actions of others. Because it’s not always a matter of loving your body more than a candy. And those of us that work hard just see it as hurtful.

This is what I tell myself: I may or may not see the numbers move but exercise is good and healthy for me. Keep it up! You might be achy. Make sure the exercise your doing is appropriate for you.
Ask your doctor about taking calcium (with D3) if you're not already.

PinkFridge

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:13 am

tichellady wrote:

The sheitel question wouldn’t bother me either in this context. I am not scared of questions. It is a good question why someone would choose to wear something they feel ugly in. I often wonder why I am willing to go out in hats that make me feel less than beautiful etc

Because, for now, you value covering and if this what is the most accessible thing to do, you'll do it? Hats off to you, figuratively ;-)
I do want to second what you're saying, and I tried to in my other earlier post. If I were inclined to reply to OP I would say, good for you that you were able to get motivated so easily. Many people can't. I have compassion on them. And if you see me at a buffet treating myself to some rich concoction that will stay on my already ample hips, just assume I'm indulging because it's not something I readily have access to and am letting myself fully enjoy it in the moment. I'll eat healthy much of the rest of the time.

flowerpower

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:27 am

Op, here is something shocking! For some people, actually many people losing weight and staying fit is a struggle. No one says "I want to enjoy a big piece of cake now so who cares if I am fat". Many people would love not to be fat! These things happen gradually! Here are some reasons why-
Busy schedule
Lots of simchas, yom tov, and shabbos(challah..)
Emotional eating
Lack of money so hard to buy diet food and lots of produce
Thyroid or other health issues
Pregnancies
Low metabolism
Age
Extreme Addiction to carbs( me)
Side effects of medication
Physically disability which leads to restrictions on working out
Lack of adequate sleep

Need more reasons? Because I can think of many more

amother

Papaya

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 9:39 am

I have unfortunately come across other stupid people such as op. Op doesnt mean to bash she is just plain stupid.
So for all you stupid people out there let me give you one case scenerio, I as well as about 10% of women suffer from pcos and as a result weight issues. It may seem like I eat donut and ice cream all day but I am dieting like a maniac and lucky if I lose 1/2 lb a month!
I have been on all sorts of diets, the one im currently on is ZERO carbs, ZERO sugar (not even fruits). Im doing this for 3 months and lost 2 lbs when I have about 50 to go.

So time to educate yourself a little. I also doubt you sit and watch heavy people eat all day so your assumptions are screwed.

amother

Wheat

Fri, Nov 10 2017, 10:01 am

amother wrote:

Sometimes I see an overweight heavy person eating junk food all day long. Donuts, cookies, cake, ice cream all in one day as their diet.

OP here. I am well aware that many people have medical or other issues that prevent weight loss. I know that a lot of people do eat healthy and still can't lose weight. Anyone who has a healthy lifestyle, I am not asking this question to. I know that many people who are overweight do not eat junk. I specifically said that I see some people who do this. I understand that for some people it isn't a choice and it isn't their fault that their medical condition or other factors affect their weight. I was addressing this question to people who consciously do not eat healthy and are fully aware that they are eating junk food.