Are there an equal percentage of "Frum" Zexual Perverts?

33055

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 4:54 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Squishy, the big jewish world extends WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY beyond monssey new york. No offense but there are so many variations on frum jewish life. It is not only what goes on in charedi life in monsey. I assure you that to be 100% true.

Now, lets see about your examples:
No wedlock mother in monsey? Very well might not be, that still doesnt mean it is not happening in the FRUM world at large.
And no offense, but why did you single out the black population with this? Do you have research or sources to back that up? Rolling Eyes

Where would you have information that frum marriages are stronger as a whole than secular marriages? Im sorry but that is the silliest thing I ever heard. What in the world are you basing that on? Again, I feel like you are pulling things out of a hat. I know many secular couples, jewish and not, that have extremely strong marriages. I think what you are writing is complete silliness and not true at all.
If you think that there are no frum girls out there that dont wear anything "worse" than a tight skirt above the knee, then you dont get out much. Ive seen it all, and from orthodox families, not just tight and above the knee.
Your every day non jew or not religious person is also not leading girls to working for pimps. That happens when something obviously goes wrong, not your every day run of the mill sara smith.
And you think only frum people have extended families? (seriously scratching my head deeply now)
I thnk it is you who is completely out of touch, out of touch with what the big bad world is like outside of your monsey bubble. And its a big world out there. Get to know it. There are so many DIFFERENT types of FRUM jews out there.

Maybe life in Monsey is safer for children growing up than elsewhere in the frum world. Without trying to insult, the more insulated the world the safer from outside influences.

Of course I can back up my statistics. You should know better by now. The data of black babies is shocking to me.

http://www.politifact.com/trut.....eric/

The overall rate of out of wedlock births is more than 40%.

https://www.google.com/amp/amp.....60990

Jewish marriages are stronger than non-jewish.

https://www.ou.org/news/in_nat....._tha/

Our divorce rate is 1/5 the rest of the population. The chassidim have a bigger spread with the general divorce rate than the rest of the frum world. Monsey, Williamsburg, New Square, the frum world in BP (that I am familiar with) have exceedingly low divorce rates.

I didn't say no non-frum have strong marriages. I didn't say no non-frum have extended families. Overall the support given here is not available universally in the secular world.

The runaway teen girls working for pimps are not coming from Monsey.

Monsey certainly has its faults. But the overall feeling that you are not alone works to protect.

Yesterday, someone we know from EY came here to collect money for his children's chassunah. We had his back.

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 5:01 pm

Squishy wrote:

A survery done BY orthodox jews OF orthodox jews proves NOTHING in terms of how jewish marriages might be stronger. How does that even make any sense?

About the divorce rate, again, there are FRUM JEWS ALL OVER THE WORLD, NOT JUST NEW YORK!!!!!!!!!! (YES IM SCREAMING) you seem to feel that the monsey frum world and the other areaas that have chassidim and black hat commuinities make up frum jewry. They do not, not by far. That is a very small bubble. Why are you not seeing that?

How do you know that teh support that you think is given in the monsey frum world is not given in the overall secular world?

And saying you have someone's bck that came collecting, not sure what that means or how that is a brag of any sorts.

33055

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 5:29 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

Do you want statistics from someone else. Despite my limiting it several times, you keep telling me it is not limited. Another poster explained the same thing to you.

I don't know what goes on in MO communities with mixed kiddishes nowadays. I came from that background. When I was 11 the girls in my YI Hebrew School were talking about relations with boys. They went to third base, home base, second base, etc. I had no idea what they were taking about when they asked me what base I went to.

On the outside, we were the frumies. This isn't going on in Monsey in my circles. Boys and girls are not engaging in casual touch and more. Teffilin dates aren't happening in Monsey in my circles. I know one couple who had sleepover dates. They were pressured to get married.

Over all the atmosphere is respectful of gender segregation. Are the rabbi's rules bullet proof? When they are followed they are.

I am very familiar with the secular world and never want my kids faced with the decisions I was faced with.

The person came from EY. He spent money on a plane ticket when he is making chasunahs to get here to collect knowing it was a good investment because Jews are tzeducah minded.

I think it is impressive that Jews open their pockets to give money for an apartment asks a wedding just because he is a frum jew.

amother

Copper

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 6:10 pm

Squishy wrote:

I don't believe you addressed the rampant men on boys abuse and incest that is prevalent in the relevant closed communities? Gender segregation is really besides the point when you look at the real perversions going on.

amother

Pearl

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 8:31 pm

Mevater wrote:

With the growing awareness of so many Zexual perverts in the workplace, in the world at large, and the fact that well known men are being accused publicly, but there are probably lots of lesser known Zexual perverts that we will never know about, because the stories dont make news.

I wonder

1- If there is an equal percentage of Zexual perverts among Frum men?

2- If Frum women would ever have the freedom to publicly accuse Frum Zexual perverts, OR would they be dissuaded and be told its Lashon Hara, and the man's family will suffer, and his kids wont be able to get married, yadayadayada?

3- Are Frum men who have above average Zexual needs, more likely to satiate their needs privately, where they're less likely to be found out, for fear of shaming their families?

We Jews are a mental health miracle, given the fact that we had Hitler Germany oppression , Gezeiros Tach vTat, Crusades, expulsions, burning at the stake, blood libels for centuries.
Bederech Hateva we should all be perverts, psychotics, personality disordered individuals.

youngishbear

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 8:41 pm

amother wrote:

World history is a chain of horrors. Yes, we were directly targeted more than any other group, but it's not like there's any country on the globe that didn't have revolutions, civil wars, famines, plagues, and random spates of violence.

But yes I agree with you.

amother

Blush

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 9:31 pm

Squishy wrote:

Everything you are saying is not for certain. Why? Because the frum community tries to hide these things from the public. If a "well known very frum man" was accused, people would not believe it and the victim and her family would be "the bad ones" according to everyone. This is why it is rare for people in monsey to come foward with the truth.

Also any data that was done about frum ppl. By frum ppl. Can be biased.

Look how long it took for everyone to figure out that "very frum man" in monsey was selling treife meat?? And he was so "frum" supported his kollel kids...

Well, the truth is you dont hear about it or see it so u think it doesnt happen in monsey. But, it is hidden so ppl. Like you think it doesnt happen in monsey. I used to be naive too thinking "frum ppl" dont do things like non jews, until I had a personal first hand experience. Now I know it is hidden

amother

Cerise

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 9:45 pm

amother wrote:

So are we to define a "real frum community" as ones without issues?

Can you provide a list?

I am not Squishy but I agree with (most of) her claims.

I believe she is referring to the right wing/ultra orthodox communities who adhere to strict gender segregation rules. Not saying other communities are not "real frum" but in regards to this discussion, there's a world of a difference between the two kinds of communities and the scandals that brew within them.

Shabbat, you have not answered my question. You claimed that every issue is just as prevalent in our society as it is in the secular world. Statistics currently stand at affairs in 1 out of every 2.7 marriages.

Even if some are absolute secrets, are you still saying that a spouse in 1 out of every 3 right wing couples has had or is having an affair??

amother

White

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 9:53 pm

amother wrote:

It took me many many years to realize that s@xual issues are as rampant in the frum world as the secular one. Boy was I disappointed. I mean, what's the point of the wife doing all the taharat hamishpacha schpiel if just as many men cheat?
There are probably less affairs, due to public gedarim. But an awful lot of frum men seem to be frequenting harlots. Maybe even more than secular guys. The se@ual deviancies just go underground in the frum world.

We keep taharat himspacha because we are commanded to. I'm not sure where just as many men cheating comes in to make a point in keeping it or not.

amother

Navy

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 11:08 pm

amother wrote:

I sincerely hope our numbers are not that horrific, but just from the women I've met and the stories I've heard from them, I'm very afraid our numbers are not that great either.

naturalmom5

Thu, Nov 23 2017, 11:29 pm

I am forced to agree totally with Shabbat..

I also greatly resent that across the board both here on Imamother as well as IRL, it's always the same.

Bullying in school ...We don't have gangs like the inner city

Education.. Our children can read as well or better than minorities in Lakewood PS. We are better than PS 12 in the South Bronx. Let's have a round of applause..

White Collar crime... we aren't Madoff or other high-profile criminals. And even when someone is. Look how much chesed and charity we give.

Child molesting... It's a lie . Antisemites are fabricating, Oh, you have a video. Well, it's only a sicko who maybe isn't from our community. Actually he's related to a big Rov or Rosh Yeshiva. Well, that's MOSER...

Business, we are doing better than the average dysfunctional guy in the trailer park.

Marital infidelity.. We are better than the most banal sectors of the general population. Do you have statistics..

There is a lot of beautiful wonderful things going on in the frum community. But there are many problems too. It is the antithesis of real Torah values to constantly be in denial as opposed to stand up and be modeh al ha emes.
We are trying to do good... we need to work on being better...