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Forum
-> Parenting our children
tweek
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 Sun, Nov 26 2017, 2:56 pm
Op, I am in awe of both you and your husband!
You are handling this perfectly. You are processing very real and emotional feelings, while not allowing them to get in the way of doing the right thing.
I believe that your husband did the right thing by mentioning his feelings once. Even if it just makes your daughter aware that this could be sensitive or emotional for you, it will make your daughter appreciate the fact that you didn’t say anything.
Maze tov on the Simcha! Much nachas !
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observer
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Sun, Nov 26 2017, 8:44 pm
That was nice of your husband to say that.
I just find it interesting that you (and others) take it as a personal thing. Do you really think it's about you when they make their decision? It's not at all about you. It may be about the name itself, or many other reasons. But it's certainly not anything personal about you.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 12:40 pm
I wrote a whole long post this morning and pressed send but guess was in an area that reception was bad so it didn’t go through So here goes again:
Bris was this morning. & my daughter ended up naming baby after my father  Before name was announced I was completely at peace & happiky accepting whatever name my daughter with her husband were to choose. & thanked Hashem this morning for allowing me to be able to be here & enjoy this beautiful simcha. & when the name was announced I was so shocked and we bith started sobbing & hugging each other. Don’t know what happened between the two of them to change their minds. But I do feel I was given a nisayon & passed it.
Thanks for all the words of wisdom given to me regarding this issue. I don’t think I would have been able to end up feeling the way I did if I wasn’t able to vent here over the last few days. It helped enormously.
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amother
Wine
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 12:56 pm
all along I was thinking maybe your DD will surprise you. wonder if that was her intent all along.
either way you did good. you should be proud of yourself. you're a great mom. your daughter is so lucky.
mazel tov and I'm so happy it worked out!
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etky
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 12:57 pm
| amother wrote: | I wrote a whole long post this morning and pressed send but guess was in an area that reception was bad so it didn’t go through So here goes again:
Bris was this morning. & my daughter ended up naming baby after my father Before name was announced I was completely at peace & happiky accepting whatever name my daughter with her husband were to choose. & thanked Hashem this morning for allowing me to be able to be here & enjoy this beautiful simcha. & when the name was announced I was so shocked and we bith started sobbing & hugging each other. Don’t know what happened between the two of them to change their minds. But I do feel I was given a nisayon & passed it.
Thanks for all the words of wisdom given to me regarding this issue. I don’t think I would have been able to end up feeling the way I did if I wasn’t able to vent here over the last few days. It helped enormously. |
Wow OP, I am so happy that things turned out this way.
I'm sure that both great-grandfathers are looking down at this new great-grandson and giving him their bracha.
You should only know happiness from all your kids and grandkids.
Mazal tov!
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Metukah
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 12:57 pm
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I'm really happy for you. You truly worked on your middos and that surely helped. Kol hakavod, Mazel Tov and lots of nachas.
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cnc
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 1:00 pm
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Wow beautiful! I'm so happy for you. Mazel tov and may see much nachas from your whole family.
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amother
Indigo
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 1:01 pm
| Quote: | | Bris was this morning. & my daughter ended up naming baby after my father Smile |
I had such a feeling you would post this!
Mazel Tov!
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observer
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 1:07 pm
I also thought this would happen but I didn't want to say it and get your hopes up  .
So happy for you. Lots of nachas!
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allthingsblue
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 1:44 pm
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Wow, op, not only did the story have the ending you wanted, but you had the zechus of passing a nisayon!
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flowerpower
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 2:23 pm
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Wow! I am so happy for you! May you see lots of naches from your grandkids for many more years!!! Mazel tov on the bris. Your dh and yourself seem like special parents.
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amother
Honeydew
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 2:41 pm
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It has happened several times in my life that when I have 100% accepted the reality of a situation AS IT IS, then it has suddenly changed. I think you passed this nisayon beautifully. Kol hakavod to you op.
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amother
Periwinkle
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 4:17 pm
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Amen for all the Brachos & chizuk from u all.
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lavenderchimes
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 4:52 pm
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Mazel Tov! It is so, so nice when things work out so unexpectedly well:)
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Purple2
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 6:08 pm
Mazel tov! This confirms what I thought before, your daughter wanted to make everyone happy(including herself, no worries everyone) but was just unaware. I think your husband mentioning something helped her. If it was me, I would have been grateful to know before it was too late, so it’s good that he did. Maybe you can thank him for his “input” and being mevater?
So happy for all of you!
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animeme
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 6:10 pm
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May both your father's and your dh's father's neshamios have an aliyah.
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Coffee Addict
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Mon, Nov 27 2017, 10:55 pm
Op, I’m so impressed the way you handled the situation! You are a amazing mom with great middas as well!
As another poster said, I also find that when you surrender to the reality, things might turn around in your favor unexpectedly. I’m so happy for you. Lots of naches from all kids and grandkids!
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amother
Periwinkle
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Tue, Nov 28 2017, 12:07 am
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I def did thank my dh big time for saying something to them. I also think his input helped them see the big picture.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Tue, Nov 28 2017, 12:45 am
| Iymnok wrote: | There is a mitzvah of kibbud horim till the day you die. There are times your dh comes first. Not your kids.
There are many mitzvos bein Adam l'chaveiro that can be utilized when naming a child. Intuition is not a mitzvah.
Making someone happy is very high on the list of considerations when naming a child.
Don't make it a "me or you" thing.
You are putting a lot into this intuition, ruach hakodesh, natural feel good stuff.
You are leaving out sechel. Which Baruch HaShem, OP and her daughter seem to have.
I wouldn't worry about things a postpartum woman says, she has a lot to deal with right now. |
How about the mother's own feelings. Let's not talk about putting her child first. But why doesn't the baby's own mother and father feelings count first. That's the name they like for their child.
When I had my first baby everyone expected me to give a name of a grandmother that passed away. I happened to love a name of a great great grandmother that I never new her even. And my daughter is 6 now and I still love her name. No body else still remembers that I didn't give the name of the grandmother that passed away. I interact with my child every day. Why shouldn't I enjoy her name?
I ended up giving that grandmother's name to my fourth child. I had nothing against the name but I just loves the name my oldest has and I wanted that to be her name.
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amother
Lawngreen
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Tue, Nov 28 2017, 12:56 am
| amother wrote: | all along I was thinking maybe your DD will surprise you. wonder if that was her intent all along.
either way you did good. you should be proud of yourself. you're a great mom. your daughter is so lucky.
mazel tov and I'm so happy it worked out! |
Wow! So happy it worked out in the end!
I hope it was not her intent all along. I wouldn't like such a surprise. Rather tell me earlier and save me the heartache.
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