Why don’t (most) frum people have dogs/pets?

Chayalle

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 10:27 am

We have a pet guinea pig. My girls love him, and so do all the other kids in the neighborhood. When we moved, my daughter made friends so quickly, by inviting them in to see her pet.

To be perfectly honest, though - it's messy. But we now keep him downstairs and DD cleans his cage and takes care of him. If I had to, that would be the end of the pet - I have enough to do keeping house.

33055

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 10:29 am

watergirl wrote:

And the family listened? I wouldn't have. Unless there is an HOA, its my street also. If there are kids who are scared, I keep my dog right at my ankle and on a tight, locked leashe until I pass and put distance in between. But I have the right to walk my dog. Just be considerate. Although they need to pick up after their dog, I agree there. Fwiw, If I’m walking my dog and someone is walking towards me, I always move to the street with the dog and give them the right of way on the sidewalk - thats common curtesy. But in your story, the dog was pooping on the street where kids play? Thats bizarre. Dogs really dont like to go on the street and prefer grass.

Also fwiw, I rented a house for a year and the other dog owners and I were always accused of not picking up after our dogs. Finally a few kind hearted neighbors who had security cameras produced footage of cats and raccoons coming at night. I had been telling everyone that the poop clearly did not look like dog poop but not no one believed me until then.

Answered in a PM.

FranticFrummie

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 10:43 am

amother wrote:

I have the opposite question:

Why do you have a dog? What is missing from your life that you feel a need to have a dirty animal slobbering his saliva on you?

My dear, cowardly amother. Is there any way you could possibly be more offensive and judgemental?

Here's what's missing in my life, 20 years of infertility. Happy now?

My dog does not lick or slobber. She goes to the groomer regularly, and so does the cat. Neither of them like to be walked, they do no go outdoors, so they do not poop in the street. If they did, I would bring baggies and clean up after them. My house does not smell like pets or poop, either.

Chayalle

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 10:45 am

amother wrote:

I have the opposite question:

Why do you have a dog? What is missing from your life that you feel a need to have a dirty animal slobbering his saliva on you?

Actually, it sounds like something is missing in your life. Some people have a deeper emotional range than you do.

amother

Seafoam

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 10:49 am

amother wrote:

How old is your cat? As they age they do require more vet visits and sometimes more medications. For sure less work than a dog but "so little work" is not true for my senior kitties!!!!

She's 11, and I know there will be more costs ahead. Our last one lived to be 19.

I do bring her to the ASPCA for shots/etc, because it would be cruel otherwise even though it's $$ that can make things tight. She's such a source of comfort for all of us, I'd eat less to feed her. Truly.

moonstone

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 10:59 am

amother wrote:

I have the opposite question:

Why do you have a dog? What is missing from your life that you feel a need to have a dirty animal slobbering his saliva on you?

Well, they're a hell of a lot nicer than SOME people!

moonstone

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 11:00 am

Squishy wrote:

From the brain.

I heard this from several people. Maybe someone has a source. I can call the Rebbetzen that first told me this.

Not on my account, please. I don't believe in this kind of stuff.

amother

Ginger

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 11:57 am

I'm another one who just feels I have too much on my plate with the family that I have. And if I get to a place where I can take on the care of another being, I'd rather that being be a child. My kids failed to take care of their goldfish properly. I gave it away, and that's the end of pets in this household. If we can't handle a fish, Kal vachomer we can't handle a dog.

Oh, and FYI, fear of dogs is not necessarily anything to do with the parents. Most of my kids like dogs, dh likes them, I prefer cats, but I don't mind dogs. One of kids is absolutely terrified of dogs. We've tried to do something about it but at this point we've accepted that it's not going to change. Best we can hope for is that he learns not to visibly and audibly freak out when a dog comes near. This child has autism and has had plenty of exposure to therapy animals. He still won't go near the therapy dog.

I have gotten judgement for not having pets because "pets are so good for special needs children!" Well, you know what's better for special needs children than a pet? Sane parents. Which we would not be if we had a pet.

Raisin

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 12:07 pm

I have a friend (completely secular) who grew up in Siberia and she had to walk to school through huge snowdrifts and with wild dogs running around. She is terrified of dogs. Once she took my kids for a walk and they saw a dog and she was scared. For a while after that my kids thought dogs were scary.

imasoftov

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 12:11 pm

amother wrote:

I have the opposite question:

Why do you have a dog? What is missing from your life that you feel a need to have a dirty animal slobbering his saliva on you?

"Personally, I do not know at all what is the meaning of the word frum; also my father did not mention such a word to me. But it appears to me that it is a type of garment whose outward cover is pride, whose lining is anger, and which is sewn with the black of depression" - Rabbi Menachem Nochum Friedman of Shtefanesht

amother

Amethyst

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 2:07 pm

I grew up in the heart of Crown Heights and my family had a cat. I came home from school one day and said to my father, "Tatty, there were girls at school asking why we have a cat, it's not kosher".

My Tatty's response: "Tell them we're not eating him". LOL

Shoshana37

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 2:44 pm

I have lots of kids and we bought a shitzu about a year ago after we moved into a house. It’s not a lot of work at all. It’s smart dog knows what we are doing never barks at children very happy dog. When my husband makes kiddish on shabbos he stands on his paws and listens very quietly and when we read loud poteah es yodecha he opens his paws.
I adore our dog and he is so cuddly and I don’t care what anyone thinks of him. We love him.
The end

amother

Orange

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 2:47 pm

imasoftov wrote:

This is supposed to be a forum for goodwill and friendship among fellow Frum

women.

If you feel some people do not live up to it, you could show the way.

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 3:15 pm

amother wrote:

I have the opposite question:

Why do you have a dog? What is missing from your life that you feel a need to have a dirty animal slobbering his saliva on you?

Wow, talk about nasty.
Why do we have a dog? Because hashem only blessed us with one child. That child was and still is very lonely. We heard that a pet would be wonderful for the child. And so we go to a dog, a non slobbery dog, thank you very much. This dog has brought unbelievable amounts of joy to our child and to our home. My child loves our dog so unconditionally, its been a wonderful addition to our family.
And there are so many benefits that we get from having this lovely dog: we get to take walks together, exercise, my child has learned responsibilities that otherwise would not have been learned.
Please dont say such terrible things, it does not become anyone.
And dont use amother to do it.

naturalmom5

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 3:18 pm

Squishy wrote:

From the brain.

I heard this from several people. Maybe someone has a source. I can call the Rebbetzen that first told me this.

I think you mean kasher lschicha,, its a segula to forget..
Are you always careful not to put on or take off two garments, do you always tie your right shoe first (left for men) , are you careful to always wash your hands after bathroom or bathing. Do you eat olives.. Or is it just selective things that you follow (ie: cats)

Also, many sources say it doesn't apply to women, because there is no issur for a woman to forget Torah.

amother

Lavender

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 3:21 pm

Sorry for those that took offense for what came out as more offensive than intended Wink

What I meant was:

Why is the question "why don't we have dogs?" as if the norm is having a dog and we are strange for not having.

the question, imo, should be "why DO you have a dog?" for those that do.

and of the ones that actually answered that question, they gave valid reasons.

Which just reinforces my point.

That you get a dog for a reason. Not just because. And frum people arent "weird" for not having dogs for no reason.

Boca00

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 3:23 pm

Have you ever seen a gaggle of bais yaakov girls run across the street in fear when they see a dog, muttering and praying with their whole heart "l'chol bnei yisrael lo yikarev kelev lshono"?

I am not surprised that these girls grow up into women who still are scared of dogs.
(Full disclosure- like me.)

shabbatiscoming

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 3:48 pm

amother wrote:

Sorry for those that took offense for what came out as more offensive than intended Wink

I know many many many many people who have dogs (and some more than one) just because, not for any other reason other than to have a pet.
and yes, in some communities it really is, why do you NOT have a dog.

Fox

Wed, Feb 14 2018, 4:29 pm

My 85-year-old mother and I always watch the Westminster Kennel Club show, which was held this week in NYC, on TV. We're not dog people -- far from it -- but we take the WKC event very seriously and I arrange my schedule for the week around the festivities. We make snacks and settle in for the whole two-night extravaganza.

Despite the enormous ribbons and trophies, there are no cash prizes at Westminster. Except for the junior handler competitions, in which scholarships are awarded. With scholarships awarded at preliminary events, it can add up to a tidy sum. I told my DD, Druscilla, who is in nursing school, that had I known, I would have had her running dogs around a ring instead of leading camp cheers during her teenage summers.

I'm also thinking that perhaps I should have enlisted a Border Collie to round my kids up when they were little and a Bull Terrier to babysit them while I took a nap on Shabbos back in the day. I believe many of the prohibitions about dogs do not apply to working dogs, and a good dog can herd kids just as well as sheep!

The evening ended late, with Flynn, the Bichon Frise, taking home best in show.

I was personally rooting for Bean, the Sussex Spaniel who kept begging for treats: