More privacy or more kids on the block

amother

Silver

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 6:03 am

Are you the type who won't get annoyed when neighborhood kids don't respect your things and your boundaries?

I had to stand really strong against neighborhood kids riding on my lawn and in my driveway. They would come and ride their bikes even in my garage if it was open.

Friends who have trampolines and swing sets complain that kids will climb over fences and use the equipment without permission. These kids are not even from the block.

Do kids playing unsupervised in the road bother you?

Rappel

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 6:52 am

I've tried both. I'm naturally quieter and less social, so I put my family right in the middle of things, so both my kids and I meet friends. My kids are little, but when they're older, I want them to go the independence to go to a chug or friend's house by themselves - so again, center of town.

thunderstorm

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 9:06 am

I’ve lived in a bungalow colony style living for most of my kids younger years. They loved it and I was miserable. Then we bought a home on a quiet cul de sac with nobody around. And then a neighbor moved in. My kids were ecstatic but it didn’t last long. They fought and didn’t get along. The neighbors ruined things on our property and they stopped playing together. I’m enjoying the peace once again. A block or two over many frum families moved in. My kids made new friends in shul and go a block or two to play.
I did make sure that for Shabbosim , especially in the summer that we always had guests (usually family etc) to keep the kids occupied.
But I vote for privacy, peace and solitude.

baltomom

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:01 am

One more thing to keep in mind is that on a block with more privacy you have more control over your kids' chinuch. You can do things the way you'd like to rather than needing to go along with whatever everyone else on the block is doing.

amother

Silver

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:27 am

baltomom wrote:

Along that line, if your kids aren't considered frum enough, they can be excluded. The moms won't let their kids play with yours. I see that on my block.

nchr

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:31 am

Privacy. Kids do not need to play with other children outside of school IMO. They are socialized enough and I like when my kids play alone or with themselves.

allthingsblue

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:32 am

We chose more kids, but put up privacy trees to keep kids out of our property. We figure that at this stage of our lives it's easier if the kids have friends that are safely and easily accessible. Iy"H when we get older, perhaps when kids are grown, we will move to a quieter area.

ShishKabob

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:38 am

baltomom wrote:

I agree with this big time.
I live on a block with lots of kids. My kids don't necessarily have more friends, and they don't necessarily find the kids that are available fun to play with. They don't have much of a choice of friends in their age bracket either as well as more boys on the block vs girls. I'd rather they play together nicely and get along with each other first.
I choose privacy first, that's because I cherish my privacy and can do play dates with friends that work for us.
Bhatzlocha

LEMON

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 10:44 am

Keep in mind kids grow up very fast. You have to enjoy the block. If you like busy or quiet that's your decision. You will stay living in that house and your kids will have flown the nest.

creditcards

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:19 am

amother [ Silver ] wrote:

Along that line, if your kids aren't considered frum enough, they can be excluded. The moms won't let their kids play with yours. I see that on my block.

The only kids I don't want my kids playing with are kids that have bad middos, act selfish and are not respectful to me when playing in my house with my kids. There was only one girl that I didn't allow my daughter to play with because she encouraged my daughter not to listen to me. As soon as my daughter was mature enough to not let her friends comments affect her and she learned how to answer her friend the way I told her to answer she was able to start playing again with her again.

creditcards

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:24 am

LEMON wrote:

Keep in mind kids grow up very fast. You have to enjoy the block. If you like busy or quiet that's your decision. You will stay living in that house and your kids will have flown the nest.

When your kids fly the nest the other families kids will fly the nest too and it will become a quiet block. The block where I grew up was a very busy block with lots of kids. Now all kids got married and all Bobbys live on the block. The only kids I see when I go visit are grandchildren coming to visit their Bobby just like we are. It is now a very quiet block.

Chayalle

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 11:50 am

I've always liked living in a quiet spot that is near enough for my kids to have friends on the block. I'm blessed that I've found this.

Like right now, I live on a quiet street that is close to a cul-de-sac where all the kids gather. I have my privacy, and DD can walk 2 minutes to where the action is.

Sometimes you can have your cake and eat it too...

amother

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 1:14 pm

Chayalle wrote:

That sounds great! The two houses we’re considering are not private versus bungalow but rather private (but on busy road) versus very private.

amother

Azure

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 1:26 pm

nchr wrote:

Privacy. Kids do not need to play with other children outside of school IMO. They are socialized enough and I like when my kids play alone or with themselves.

For me it’s this. I live on a block with many, many kids and I hate it. It is very difficult for me to parent as I see fit when there is so much going on around here all the time. Also, the kids form cliques and end up fighting a lot too. Now that pple are away for the summer I am lapping it up like a parched puppy.
A relative of mine moved into a quiet neighborhood where her kids have no neighbors. She stocked her basement with books, crafts and has guests over during the long summer Shabbosim. Her kids have adjusted remarkably well and have learned to occupy themselves. Best of all, No peer pressure either.
Of course if you can have a bit of both......

amother

Silver

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 2:18 pm

creditcards wrote:

When there were only a few kids to play with, everyone played together - chassidish, yeshivish, modern, safarti. When the blocked turned all Jewish, then suddenly this one was not welcome to play with this one. It had nothing to do with the individual child.

simba

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 2:27 pm

I moved to a quite block ( not specifically for the privacy) and after I moved in a few other families joined. Now we are a bungalow block. My kids are outside all day. I borrow milk at midnight on my block chat and I can have a babysitter in a pinch.

The privacy issue still exists. I am still the mean mother when the neighbors can stay out and play later and when I have to send kids home for bedtime. That’s all fine with me and worth the perks.

amother

cornflower

Mon, Jul 29 2019, 2:34 pm

neighbors for sure. I live on a block where we have to walk to friends and its a big challenge. my kids are not big enough to walk to friends alone or to even play alone when I'm not watching from a window at the very least. so they are playing at my house, without company, all summer. it makes me very sad.