Awful gifts: S/o of Being honest about liking gifts

kenz

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 10:29 am

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

My husband was going to get me a really nice gift for a momentous occasion and came up with the idea of a kaara for pesach with matching kiddush cup. I said that’s a great idea, and I will get you a stunning diamond bracelet. And that’s what we did!

LOL!

watergirl

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 12:37 pm

Before I write about the gifts, I want to say that I appreciate the thought of not coming empty handed and wanting to give something to me. But things like this make me wonder if it is the thought that counts or if I am being Having said that:

My MIL has given me:
- one year for chanukah, a frozen uncooked roast and informed me they will be coming the following shabbos and want me to cook it for the meal. That was the entire gift.
- Another year for my birthday, she gave me one serving dish that is part of a set. The rest of the set is in her home. It is her taste, not mine, and I suspect she used it a few times (there was dried food on it and she told me it is for fleishig). Also that was the entire gift.
- Another birthday, she gave me a purse. Used. With stains on it. That was the entire gift.
- When I was first married, she gave me a pearl-style bracelet. My stepdaughter was there when I opened it and she exclaimed "Bubie thats the same thing you sent Mommy this year!". She buys sets of things on QVC and hands them out.

amother

Crimson

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 2:00 pm

amother [ Plum ] wrote:

Imho sometimes it isn’t the thought that counts. If a mentally well person gives you a dirty dish...that isn’t what I’d call a gift.

It's the thought that counts, but sometimes the gift makes you question the thought.

amother

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 4:27 pm

We once got a gift so mysterious the giver wouldn't tell us what it was and insisted that we guess. I suspect that it was regifted and the regifter also had no clue what it was. It was was a pair of strangely proportioned glass vessels that were too big to be drinking glasses, too narrow to be serving bowls, too wide to be leichter, and too short to be vases. They went immediately to the local charity thrift shop.

amother

Tan

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 8:51 pm

I've have gotten some nice Chanukah gifts from mil, some years, like cookbook, umbrella, but some years were interesting gifts like random items. For ex: a rainbonnet, shmattes, a to do list, antibacterial soap. At least they were useful & practical and not something ugly that I wouldn't use.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 8:53 pm

I'm going to tell you what was The most meaningful gift I received from DH for my birthday. It was many years ago, beginning of our marriage.
We were struggling financially. DH went into the local bakery, took a small plastic cookie container, looked around what his wife would appreciate. He remembered that I had mentioned once that I liked marzipan, as well as coconut.
He chose 1 miniature of a marzipan/coconut concoction. He added a sweet note- Happy Birthday!
I was incredibly touched. This 1 piece of miniature meant more to me than any expensive jewelry would have done.
It showed that he remembered my birthday, made an effort to go out and get me something, and thinking what I like.
I always tell people, its not the money amount the gift costs, its the thought and caring that counts.

Ok, not saying regifting a used item means the same but its the effort they put in to want to make you happy.

amother

Gray

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 10:07 pm

I went to high school with a cruel narcissist who was always copying others tests and work and never got caught and it really rubbed me the wrong way that I worked hard to barely get a B while she was lavishly praised constantly-no one who knew ever told. Years later, she's now an artist and I still can't think of her without feeling miserable about my high school years but I never spoke about it, it's over and anything I say would probably just be LH. DH asked his cousin for help picking out a special birthday present for me and yep, his cousin guided him to my former classmate's artwork. You can imagine my surprise when he drove me to her house to pick up my 'surprise' and boy, was I super surprised! Tickled pink! Speechless! Now it hangs on my wall because I can't tell DH since it's done and purchased and he spent so much but it's recognizable by everyone who comes over so now, even though it's years after high school, I STILL GET TO HEAR HER PRAISE ALL. DARN. DAY. LONG!!! Banging head

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

kenz

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 10:46 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

OMG - can you accidentally run with a cup of coffee and spill it just in that direction? Or maybe bleach? This scenario is right out of a book - at least it should be a kaparah every time you see it! But goodness, the irony.

Cheshire cat

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 10:49 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

That is so beautiful. Smile

cnc

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 10:50 pm

amother [ Gray ] wrote:

Thank you for letting me get that off my chest.

OMG
You can't make this up...

PeanutMama

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:01 pm

This JUST happened today, a few minutes back.
My husband came home all excited and told me he had a surprise for me and told me to give him my phone.
He checks his email and shows me..........

A confirmation email about an order of hearing aids.
The type very old people wear.
I was speechless and then I said “you do know that the doctors have to tell how much hearing loss you have in both ears before they set up the hearing aids for you? People with hearing loss get customized hearing aids set for them.”He spent 340$ on a pair of hearing aids, which seems awfully cheap and most likely would be poor quality and won’t work long term
Long story short I am ashamed I reacted the way I did and my poor husband isn’t even hurt the slightest and if he is he’s a great actor at not showing it. He said if I didn’t like it, we’ll return them.
It feels nice that he thinks of my poor ears but ohmygosh that’s a thing doctors do! I’m very very wary of medical stuff (hearing aids, oxygen tanks, chair lifts etc) from online. Like I’d never order something online that I would have to put on or in my body. I’d rather get hearing aids through a good doctor who knows how much I can and cannot hear.

Oy. I must’ve sounded ungrateful as heck.

I’m trying to think of an apology at the moment.

Blah.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:12 pm

H&F, your DH deserves credit just for caring anough to want to help you. Forget about the hearing aids. He went out of his way to look up and order something that can hopefully help you hear better. He is a very caring DH who wanted the best for his wife.
Sorry it doesn't serve the purpose but he tried and for that alone he deserves a standing ovation.

amother

Aqua

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:15 pm

I never praise the item received. I praise the persons care and effort to want to make me happy.
Like the miniature my DH got for my birthday.
I could've said, how stupid...
I praised him for buying something and wanting to make me happy.

ExtraCredit

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:18 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

Right, the thought was beautiful but the item is probably a waste. That’s why it belongs in this thread Wink

! H&F you can still thank him profusely for the thought. Never too late for that.

PeanutMama

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:22 pm

amother [ Aqua ] wrote:

I know the moment those words came out of my mouth I regretted them.
sometimes my impulsive mouth is faster than my thinking brain.

I feel H O R R I B L E.

PeanutMama

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:23 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

Right, the thought was beautiful but the item is probably a waste. That’s why it belongs in this thread Wink

! H&F you can still thank him profusely for the thought. Never too late for that.

I will as soon as he gets home bzH

amother

Seashell

Mon, Nov 09 2020, 11:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote: