Just witnessed the most horrible sight!

amother

Orchid

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:27 pm

crust wrote:

Spill it. Tell us what you know.
As far as I know NY government is an old fashioned corporate corrupt system.

They understand to parenting like I understand Hindu.

They go in yank kids from parents zero research. Parents will fight and fight years but damage is done. Now they don’t ignore but they don’t do research either and do major damage

In the Bronx they don’t feel so safe so they don’t go there.

crust

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:28 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

So how have times changed?? 🤔

ExtraCredit

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:29 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

amother

Maroon

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I just witnessed something so horrible I hope no mother ever does this to a child I am horrified! Where we live the way the houses are built is that the back of our house faces the back of the next house so our back porches face each other. Around 1:45 am tonight I heard noise outside from the back.. opening my window I witnessed a young boy probably 6 or 7 years old in his pajamas, no coat, screaming and crying on his porch shaking like a leaf from the cold, looked like he was locked out trying to get in. The porch light was on. At first looked like was some mistake or something but as he continued crying someone from inside turned off the porch light on purpose. The kid was in total darkness.I couldn't believe what I was seeing! A few seconds later seems like the mom put the light back on, opened the door a crack and asked the kid something about stopping to cry (couldn't hear exactly but something like that) I cannot get this story out of my mind. As u can see I'm still up.....I can't believe parents can treat kids like this.

You witnessed child abuse and it’s your obligation to report it or you could have blood on your hands one day

amother

Green

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:31 pm

crust wrote:

Please share success stories that you had with CPS in New York that made the children's lives better.

Honest.

Honest, I have never had ANY experience with CPS in New York, good or bad. And yes, I am aware that you have had or heard of horror stories. Every child protection agency in the world has a bad reputation because they do very sensitive and emotive work. Even if they are brilliant and professional and have good oversight.

Anyway, I don't mean to undermine how you feel about the child protection agencies over there. I know there is a lot of distrust and bad feelings on both sides.

amother

Scarlet

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:31 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

My older brother had the nerve to call CPS when my father beat him once. They came, spoke to him, spoke to my parents, and left. Things were terrible after that, and they never came to take us away. I wish they had.

Brooklyn, NY

amother

Green

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:32 pm

amother [ Orchid ] wrote:

Are you saying that CPS can go in and remove a child without a court order? I find that very hard to believe as it would be profoundly illegal in any democratic country.

amother

Orchid

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:35 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

Are you saying that CPS can go in and remove a child without a court order? I find that very hard to believe as it would be profoundly illegal in any democratic country.

They can and do! Cause they remove and by the time anyone gets a lawyer they then have a court order restriction

Mommyg8

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:37 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

Are you saying that CPS can go in and remove a child without a court order? I find that very hard to believe as it would be profoundly illegal in any democratic country.

I dont think you realize - it took me a while to get it too - that New York City right now is the equivalent of a third world country. Corruption, ineptitude and all.

yksraya

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:38 pm

amother [ Green ] wrote:

Are you saying that CPS can go in and remove a child without a court order? I find that very hard to believe as it would be profoundly illegal in any democratic country.

yes, unfortunately I heard that is what happens many times, especially in nyc. People are too quick to make the call without understanding what really happens to the kids. Some kids get put up into foster care where they suffer more abuse than before.

Ignoring abuse should not be an option either. But the involvement should come in the form of well versed askanim and rabbonim etc. Many times family can get involved and resolve the issues too. Cps should only get involved if other methods have been tried (long enough) without success.

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:46 pm

yksraya wrote:

My children and I were left to suffer when rabbonim and askanim either didn’t want to listen, did listen but did nothing, or did listen and then got the abuser’s side and decided to believe them, tell them what we said and that I should give my husband more z-x and support his abuse of the kids by not stopping him and the kids should be more obedient to not deserve it.

Then the abuse got 100x worse. I almost lost my kids because I allowed rabbonim and askanim to mismanage this and didn’t act immediately to get people involved who actually could stop this.

These aren’t simple situations, but wishing we could self police is a pipe dream. There just aren’t rabbonim and leaders in our communities who know how to deal with abuse and not make it worse.

My kids and I struggle with frumkeit as a result of this simplified view of turning to rabbonim etc and of others being unwilling to help or support. Abusers succeed when everyone decides to stand aside. It’s the myth of neutrality.

ExtraCredit

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:48 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

I’m sorry about your struggles. I’m just not sure I’m understanding what your suggestion to OP is?

amother

Honeydew

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:50 pm

ExtraCredit wrote:

I’m sorry about your struggles. I’m just not sure I’m understanding what your suggestion to OP is?

Leaving it to rabbonim to decide whether to involve CPS is not viable.

Experts in abuse need to be involved. It’s not rabbonim and askanim.

ExtraCredit

Sun, Dec 13 2020, 12:51 pm

amother [ Honeydew ] wrote:

Leaving it to rabbonim to decide whether to involve CPS is not viable.

Experts in abuse need to be involved. It’s not rabbonim and askanim.

So she should go right ahead and call CPS after witnessing whatever she witnessed last night?