Is vacation a "need" or a "want'?

↑ southernbubby ↓

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 6:18 am

lamplighter wrote:

honestly the answer is irrelevant unless its on the back of others.
If others will have to step in and babysit your kids or you will need tzedaka to pay for it etc then defining a normally labeled want as a need is concerning.
There are select circumstances in which a mother may need a serious break and I would consider donating for it but again it's not up there with food or medical bills. Its like up there with a cleaning lady.

Probably it's people who are close to the couple who chip in the money and/or child care. I don't think that too many tzedukah organizations exist to provide vacations, particularly now but I have heard of family members pitching in if they feel that it would help.
You would probably help friends or relatives who needed to farm out the kids in order to go away if you felt like they really needed the break. I babysit for my grandchildren if their parents want to take a trip for a few days.
I agree that other forms of tzedukah take priority but family often helps family before giving somewhere else. (Ask a Rav if there is a question).

amother

↑ Coral

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 6:27 am

amother [ Burgundy ] wrote:

If going to Florida for a few days keeps someone from divorcing,
then the marriage couldn’t have been too bad.

I really dislike when people say these things. “it’s cheaper than therapy..... bla bla”
If you really need therapy, go for therapy! Three days in Bahamas will not help, it will just push off the help that’s really needed.

Burnout can create a need for therapy that wouldn't exist otherwise.

↑ southernbubby ↓

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 7:07 am

amother [ Coral ] wrote:

Burnout can create a need for therapy that wouldn't exist otherwise.

I agree. Sometimes it may help for a couple to simply have an evening out rather than several days in a different location.

↑ Ema of 5

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 7:33 am

southernbubby wrote:

I agree. Sometimes it may help for a couple to simply have an evening out rather than several days in a different location.

And sometimes one (or both of them) may just need to get a break for a couple of days.

↑ southernbubby ↓

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 7:41 am

Ema of 4 wrote:

And sometimes one (or both of them) may just need to get a break for a couple of days.

Two of my sons take a "bro trip" every year and their wives take a trip with sisters or friends and I am currently babysitting for that. I agree that the break can take numerous forms according to the needs of the couple. I am the type of bubby who says, "when I show up, you go out".

yksraya

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 11:29 am

Maybe put away some money each week so that one day you finally get your dream of going somewhere nice. It might not be a need, but if it's your dream, go for it. You deserve it.

↑ zaq

Tue, Jan 05 2021, 2:31 pm

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

Want.
This concept of vacation is a new construct and as a need goes right up with “me time....” do you really think in the Alte Heim they had vacation?

Yes, as a matter of fact, it was very much a concept for those who were the least bit prosperous. Going someplace like the seashore or the mountains was a "thing" and was considered good for the health, physical and mental. The poorest of the poor couldn't afford it, but then the poorest of the poor seldom get to go on vacation in this country, either.

amother [ Natural ] wrote:

Vacation was when you traveled to the next town to use the Mikva in the freezing cold under the cover of darkness in fear of getting caught.

Let's not overdramatize. One goes to the mikvah under cover of darkness anyway. Though a contemporary of mine who came here from Russia in the 1980s said she had to take an hour-long plane ride to get to a mikvah because there was none in her city.