No money to start cooking:( UPDATE

trixx

Wed, Mar 17 2021, 11:23 pm

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

You may not realize it but it’s perfectly ok to take tzedaka in your situation, diamonds and all. It’s a halacha in shulchan aruch. If someone is used to a certain standard and falls on hard times it’s appropriate to give them tzadaka even just to allow them to maintain some of the lifestyle they are accustomed to. It’s called “dei machsoro”. Take the tzedaka that is being offered without guilt. It is completely appropriate.

I'd still give or lend you money OP.

amother

Amber

Wed, Mar 17 2021, 11:30 pm

amother [ Forestgreen ] wrote:

Yes, this is a HALACHA. It says if one is used to having a servant run before him you should give him tzedakah so he can keep up his standard.
It's not easy to think this way but it says so in the Torah.

amother

Papaya

Wed, Mar 17 2021, 11:32 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

It’s hard to be sympathetic when someone has tools at their disposal to change their situation but instead just whines about it. She has been given numerous offers and she doesn’t want to take it. Okay that’s fair. So I suggested that she temporarily pawn something valuable to get the money for Pesach. I don’t understand why that’s unsympathetic.

Sorry, no one is supposed to sell their jewelry because they don't have money at the moment and they know the money will come in soon. People in need are allowed to have things. You are awfully judgmental and rude.

amother

Navy

Wed, Mar 17 2021, 11:42 pm

amother [ Azure ] wrote:

If you have that much jewelry, why can’t you sell off one piece? That could get you enough to make pesach. Even pawning until the money comes through.

I understand OP and be careful with this advice

People have money and then poof they don’t have. I have had beautiful jewelry and then sold it and got humiliated in the process (guy holds up a necklace from my beloved aunt who just was niftar and says what is this junk so he can justify giving me literally pocket change) so I keep my jewelry and we struggle for food and tuition etc and then HaShem provides. OP I wish you much strength

almostlettinggo

Wed, Mar 17 2021, 11:46 pm

Wow amazing! No keamcha yisroel. It warms my heart. I feel really sad that one poster had to attack another ima because she had a different opinion.
Op may Hashem help and you have everything you need and more to make a beautiful Yom Tov.

amother

Vermilion

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 12:29 pm

amother [ Amber ] wrote:

The Gemara also tells people that it's better to make shabbos like a weekday than to take funds from tzedaka.

But back to the main point - op, how are you doing? If there's a promise of money, you can go to a din Torah to claim what is owed to you.

Notsobusy

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 12:59 pm

Some of you are being really unfair to azure. She's just giving practical advice. I don't either understand ops position, although I recognize that I was never in her shoes and so I can't understand.

But from a practical point of view, I think I personally would rather sell one piece of jewelry than not be able to buy basics for yom tov.

I realize.that in this case it's a little different because they expected to already have the money. But I think if I was in a position of choosing between selling jewelry or taking tzedakah, I would sell the jewelry. Because I hate to take. That doesn't mean someone else would be wrong to take, it's just how I would feel.

amother

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 1:32 pm

I agree with the posters saying it wouldn’t be right to take tzedakah. I haven’t reached out to anyone who offered, even though the kindness is overwhelming.
As for selling a piece of jewellery... it’s harder than you can imagine. It’s not the piece I care about, it’s the humiliation that I need to sell my possessions to get by. It feels like giving up a piece of me. It’s such a horrible place to be in. I give you all a bracha to never know.
That’s why I’m just venting.
I’m not really up to hearing suggestions.
Today just hit me very hard.

amother

Coral

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 1:35 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I totally understand you , and I hope that ur finances turn around so that you don't have to be humiliated into taking or even considering pawning anything off.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 1:37 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Please take the money that is being offered to you here.
Not for yourself.
Take it for your kids.
I know what it’s like to move pride away in order to receive help.
It’s beyond difficult. It feels impossible.
But I also know what it’s like to have parents who’s pride got in the way.
Unfortunately I am messed up for life, but your kids still have a chance.
Please take it. Not for you. For your kids. It seems from your posts that you are an amazing parent. Do this for them. You can pay it forward when you get your money.
Sending lots of love 💕

naturalmom5

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 3:21 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you, but I really don’t feel comfortable taking any money... it is bh a large check... the problem is waiting for it:( and hoping it will actually come before pesach...

Take it from someone who was in yourvshoes many times

Mi Camecha Yisroel so many wonderful women offering here

Why dont you accept their generosity today and pay it forward ten fold when you can

amother

Orchid

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 3:30 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

You're not taking tzedaka if, as suggested, you take it as a "loan" and pay it forward when you can.

amother

Ecru

Thu, Mar 18 2021, 3:31 pm

Please don't sell any jewelry OP!
I was in an awful situation, where we didn't have bread to eat. I was contemplating selling off my jewelry, but with such heartbreak that I kept pushing it off.
Thank G-d I didn't! I am coming out of this dark abyss, bh there's food to eat and some more. I would have been devastated had I sold my diamond ring.
Bezras Hashem your situation is temporary and may it turn around for the better, sooner than you think.