Do you consider WhatsApp status an invite?

Ema of 5

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:31 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

It’s actually a niece

Why can’t you reach out to your aunt or another cousin? Is it really worth your time to spend energy being upset? BH you don’t have anything else to be upset about, and this should be your biggest problem ever!!

groovy1224

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:32 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

This takes way more time than actually just sending it to the people you want to invite! Then you have to check the status 24 hours later and see who viewed it and cross check it with your list of people you want to invite..it doesn't make any sense!

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

Would you have been happier if they sent out a mass text just you wouldn’t have known that they did that?

Yes, I would personally prefer this. If I'm a close friend, I would want to know that it's more important to my friend that I'm there than it is that the guy who once fixed her faucet 2 years ago so he's still saved in her contacts is there.

amother

Orange

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

The great grandma of the baby called to tell me the news followed by the excited grandma, so apparently they’re not too discreet. And a text I wouldn’t either have to be respond to, at least not at the moment

So you were made aware of the bris, and need not rely upon the happenstance of a whatsapp status.

Prior to smartphones, and texting, and whatsapp (which I don't really use), that's how it worked. The new parents, who have a million things to do, aren't calling aunt gussie and cousin yitzi; they tell the immediate family and closest friends, and the excited grandma spreads the news to everyone else.

If your goal is to be p155ed off, then don't go. But you've been made aware in the new-tech and the old-school ways.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:34 pm

pinkpeonies wrote:

Im sorry, but this is silly. A family member makes a bris, you call someone to find out where and when it is. The "invite" is for the people who arent as close
And yes, for a bris, kiddush, or vort, a status invite is perfect, because all you need is the information

Thank you for informing me that I’m silly. For some reason when my sisters made baby simchas (they don’t have smartphones) they had lots of people attend the vachnact and bris. Apparently they got calls/text messages. What happened to our spoiled generation?

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:36 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

I wouldn’t rely on the new mom or her husband to inform me. I would find out from other family members. I really don’t think it’s crazy for the new parents to not give that info to every single family member.

Apparently they don’t want us there. If they’d want us, they’d make sure to ask their parents to give over messages if they’re so busy. As I mentioned- my siblings always had A full house for their vachnachts and brisos.... and that’s without WhatsApp status

Leahh

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:37 pm

Op, you mentioned in a post that you are suffering from IF.
I am wondering if you are more sensitive because of that.
I can't imagine what you are going through and don't pretend to know. I hope you are able to iyh celebrate your own simcha bkarov!
When a couple is making a shalom zachor, vacht nacht and bris its alot of pressure and planning in a very short time span. Aside from adjusting to having a new baby in the house. Add in yom tov on top of it all (talking from experience) and its really difficult and stressful. It is a possible a list was given to another family member and that person did not follow through. It's possible the father thought he messaged you but didn't actually hit send or just plain and simply forgot.
Even before whatsapp and text messaging there were some people that were better at sending invites than others. Some people were mistakenly overlooked or forgotten about. Now, because we have all this technology the baal simcha hopes that whoever was mistakenly not called saw it on status or got the invite forwarded from someone else.
When people make a simcha, any simcha, there are always slip ups of someone that should have been invited but wasn't.
It's life. I think for your sake it's best to let it go. Cough it up to an oversight and move on. You'll be happier that way.
Btw, you also mention the grandma and great grandma called to give you the news the baby was born. Maybe they were also supposed to call with bris details. Could be dad asked them too and they forgot. Not him

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:39 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

You’re saying you saw the status- you know that the person who posts sees who views it- they probably messages whoever didn’t view it and saved themselves some time. When someone makes a simchah inviting people is actually very time consuming. Would you have been happier if they sent out a mass text just you wouldn’t have known that they did that? This is the exact same thing just on WhatsApp you can post on your status and know exactly who viewed it.

You can know who viewed it, correct. I guess I don’t have such a good memory. Because, if I’d have to spread a message for people who didn’t view my status, I wouldn’t remember every person who did or didn’t view it. I’d take the few minutes to go through my contacts and do it. And make the person feel like in the pre smartphone days

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:41 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

No, I wasn’t made aware of the bris.

Ema of 5

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:42 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

So be upset, and be hurt, and don’t go. Don’t expect them to feel bad about it though.

ShishKabob

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:44 pm

I think that young people nowadays are so wrapped up in their busy life and in their social media life that they simply 'forget' that there's another universe that exists beyond that. I think it's an oversight, not done on purpose at all. And yes, I do think that the older generation should gently remind their newly married/ new parents/ children that they should make sure that ALL their relatives should be notified about their simcha. I don't think it's too much to ask.

Ema of 5

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:45 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

WhatsApp status. No one told me or texted otherwise

So then you were made aware. They put the info out there, and you saw it. Maybe it’s not the way YOU would do it, and that’s ok. The fact is though, you saw the info, you were made aware. Not everyone has time to send group texts or personal messages.

gamanit

Wed, May 19 2021, 12:47 pm

chanatron1000 wrote:

A Whatsapp status is not an invitation, but close family doesn't need an invitation.

Agreed 1000%. I once called a close friend a month after her wedding and let her know that I just got the invitation to her wedding (postmarked two months prior). We both had a good laugh about it. I hadn't even noticed that I didn't get the invitation before the wedding. I thought I had misplaced it so had called a different friend for the time and place. If you're close to someone, you go to their simcha.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 1:04 pm

amother [ Orange ] wrote:

You knew that a baby boy was born. You thought they weren't having a bris?

If you don't want to go to the bris, don't. But it sounds like you're looking for excuses to be offended.

Yes, if my husband is not important enough to get a text than we don’t belong there