Do you consider WhatsApp status an invite?

amother

Denim

Wed, May 19 2021, 1:19 pm

It’s obvious that you are in pain about the birth. This has absolutely nothing to do with an invitation. To take it as far as to say you are not wanted because you did not get a personal text as an aunt when you are the one that should have reached out is really pushing it (unless you notoriously are hurt by simchas and make things uncomfortable for those around you that would make them not want you) Again your poll is not a fair one at all!! You are an Aunt and it’s a Bris. Your poll sounds more in regard to a distant person in your neighborhood making a wedding.

chanatron1000

Wed, May 19 2021, 1:38 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Yes, if my husband is not important enough to get a text than we don’t belong there

You mean important enough not to need a text.

chanatron1000

Wed, May 19 2021, 1:38 pm

Sometimes it hurts to be taken for granted. But being in a position to be taken for granted is not something to be taken for granted.

Goody2shoes

Wed, May 19 2021, 1:50 pm

I want following the whole time and I dont have patience to start reading all this
can someone just tell me if the bal simcha is close family/friends with op?

Cookin4days

Wed, May 19 2021, 2:03 pm

Personally I wouldn’t be insulted or take it to heart because if that’s how they chose to invite people that’s on them and their decision
They just had a baby you think they’re thinking to go through their contact list? Probably not

If it’s a family member then you really don’t need an invite and I don’t think you should feel like they don’t want you there since they didn’t personally invite you no offense but you’re not a top priority in their eye but I’m sure they would LOVE to see you there, if you’re still confused or hurt talk it out with one of their mothers if you want

Ema of 5

Wed, May 19 2021, 2:30 pm

alwayssmiling wrote:

I want following the whole time and I dont have patience to start reading all this
can someone just tell me if the bal simcha is close family/friends with op?

It seems to be a niece who had the baby.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:37 pm

alwayssmiling wrote:

I want following the whole time and I dont have patience to start reading all this
can someone just tell me if the bal simcha is close family/friends with op?

It’s dh niece that had a baby

Goody2shoes

Wed, May 19 2021, 3:38 pm

Ema of 4 wrote:

It seems to be a niece who had the baby.

thank you
well I understand why she would be upset. I wouldn't consider a status an invite either but not to attend makes no sense. you obviously know about the baby and about the bris. its not like she forgot to inform you that sh had a baby. I think its self understood that an aunt will attend even without an invite.

lamplighter

Wed, May 19 2021, 4:14 pm

I voted before knowing it was a great nephews bris.

When someone has a baby it's not on THEM to invite everyone, when you call to wish mazal tov YOU ask about the mother and the baby and the bris details. I've never expected to be invited to a bris and I never was.

If I want to be at a bris then I inquire about the details.

Why is this about you OP?

I think there is more going on here, other reasons for your sensitivity and pain but the invitation issue is not it. Explore what's going on for you that this bris invite triggered you in this way.

Sending hugs and love. It's hard struggling through IF and going to others simchas.

amother

Sienna

Wed, May 19 2021, 4:52 pm

One does not invite to a bris.
Its usually advertised in shul or daily simcha list... if your family is close enough you would hear about it.
I understand you mention your dealing with IF, but dont put your family to blame. If ur not comfortable going DONT!!!

shmoosh

Wed, May 19 2021, 5:04 pm

I voted yes. Mainly because people don’t always have time to send a whole bunch of personal invites. I know for my own sons bris, I posted on my status and send the invite/info to a few people I’m close to who wouldn’t see my status (no WhatsApp). When I see someone post a Simcha invitation, I mark my calendar and try to go if I could.

nechamashifra

Wed, May 19 2021, 6:55 pm

If she personally sent an invite to everyone else except for you, I can understand feeling hurt. But if this is the way they chose to inform everyone, how can anyone be offended or take this personally?

nechamashifra

Wed, May 19 2021, 6:57 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Right, and therefore baalei Simcha don’t invite but rather inform others that they’ll be making a bris. However, same thing happened with the shalom Zachor. Hurts me for 2 reasons.
1. I may be more sensitive than others being the fact that I’m going through IF.
2. When this couple fundraised for a campaign, he didn’t wait for us to see the status but rather sent a message....

Maybe they don't want to put you or anyone on the spot by inviting you personally, in case you don't want to go.

amother

Blonde

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:04 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Thank you for informing me that I’m silly. For some reason when my sisters made baby simchas (they don’t have smartphones) they had lots of people attend the vachnact and bris. Apparently they got calls/text messages. What happened to our spoiled generation?

My SIL just made a bris. None of us have smartphones either, but they didn't personally invite us. We reached out to know where & when, and how we can help. It isn't a time when personal invitations directly from the baal simcha are expected.

And definitely if you heard the details from the grandparents, that's considered a personal invitation. It doesn't have to come from the parents themselves.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:04 pm

Okay, well just heard back from another sil it was for ladies as well. How did all my sils know about it? None of them have smartphones and it didn’t say...

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:05 pm

amother [ Blonde ] wrote:

Apparently I didn’t hear the details...

amother

Yellow

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:09 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

Okay, well just heard back from another sil it was for ladies as well. How did all my sils know about it? None of them have smartphones and it didn’t say...

I guess they called to tell Mazel tov? And inquired about details?

amother

Yellow

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:13 pm

Or she posted on her status, saw that you saw it and didn’t comment in response and was unsure how to proceed. And honestly if this is the attitude you come with, then I can see her being in limbo.
I’m sorry but you are wallowing in self pity and it won’t get you anywhere.

amother

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:21 pm

amother [ Yellow ] wrote:

She doesn’t have WhatsApp. It’s her husband that has and this is a shared phone. So her husband thinks it’s my husband’s phone...

nechamashifra

Wed, May 19 2021, 7:33 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

She doesn’t have WhatsApp. It’s her husband that has and this is a shared phone. So her husband thinks it’s my husband’s phone...

Why are you trying to "catch them out"? Do you really believe they are trying to hurt you?