Why do you go upstate for the summer?

amother

Lightcoral

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 10:39 am

amother [ Lawngreen ] wrote:

I’m not anti social.
I’m on the quieter side.
Life’s circumstances had it that I don’t live near family or friends.
My friends are in a different stage of life than I am since I didn’t have children I until I was in my 30’s.
I try so hard to be a part of things but I’m always just at a different stage.
I’m really not anti social.
I can have a good conversation with almost anyone.
I just want to fit in somewhere.

You can definitely join a colony with younger mothers where your kids will have friends their age.
Usually there is no specific "age criteria" but many times people in the same age/stage tend to form a group.
There is nothing wrong with being quiet.

What are you looking for? Friends for yourself? Company for your kids?

PeanutMama

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 10:53 am

I WISH my husband and I can go to the country for a few weeks…it sounds really nice. My husband and I were there only once for a Shabbos as newlyweds (not even a month married!)
I need to get out of Brooklyn. 😫

I’m also not that social haha. I like to keep to myself and just admire the nature with hubby.

amother

DarkKhaki

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 10:57 am

amother [ Lily ] wrote:

I totally understand this. But the one question I still have- what about the expense? Can everyone really afford it?

I totally understand
The one question I have is
Why can’t we do this in the winter instead.
Give me two months to take my children to Florida?!

#ihatecoldweatheritgetsintomybonesaandbrain

amother

Gray

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 11:05 am

Oh I wish we could go upstate. It's a dream we hope we'll be able to do one day. We live in a tiny 2 bedroom apartment and have no family in town. The summers are brutal, especially Shabbos and Sunday with no day camp. My kids come alive when they can run in the grass and just scooter around all day. But we never have such chances.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 11:16 am

amother [ Lily ] wrote:

I totally understand this. But the one question I still have- what about the expense? Can everyone really afford it?

People find ways and make it priority to afford it. I know someone that their Rabbi told them to borrow money to go to the bungalow colony.

amother

Crimson

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 11:17 am

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

Maybe go to Monroe for a shabbos. You mentioned you dh has many satmar friends.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 11:20 am

amother [ Crimson ] wrote:

You can be as anti social in the country as in the city. Do what you want.

This. I don't like people. I don't need company. We do it totally for the kids. I'm fine being busy and playing with the kids all day. Many people do it only for the kids even if it's hard for them.

amother

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 7:06 pm

Op here. I wish we'd be able to go upstate for all the reasons mentioned, but I don't go for the weird arrangement where wife is upstate and husband comes for shabbos. ( I know, I'm strange like that Wink

). The thing is, that my kids have noone left on the block to be busy with. Almost everyone is away!!

dankbar

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 7:17 pm

So you can go with your husband for a week or two to hotel style with food or go for a few days on a family trip or for shabbos to a house in Monsey

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 7:19 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

). The thing is, that my kids have noone left on the block to be busy with. Almost everyone is away!!

I was also from those that said that I'll never go to a bungalow colony while DH stays home..... till I realized how important it is.

Amelia Bedelia

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 7:21 pm

Hashem_n_Farfel wrote:

Many young couples at your stage in life go to a boys' camp as staff. Your dh can be a madrich/counselor. Food and bungalow is usually part of the salary.

amother

Cinnamon

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 7:22 pm

amother [ Jade ] wrote:

Is it a really yachne situation and people being nosy and curious about eachothers life?

Some bungalow colonies yes and some not. Same goes for city apartment buildings. I went to a real simple "yunchy" colony because I can't handle politics, peer pressure and fashion shows. From my experience, the simpler the crowd, the less politics and peer pressure. Whenever we go to fancy colonies/summer homes for weekends, there's always some sort of politics going on and the peer pressure is through the roof.

the world's best mom

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 8:39 pm

amother [ Lily ] wrote:

I totally understand this. But the one question I still have- what about the expense? Can everyone really afford it?

Our bungalow is cheap, and the day camp is cheap. We pay about the same amount for all that as we would pay to stay in the city and send our kids to real day camp there.

We do not have politics. Everyone is friendly with each other. Nobody feels a need to live up to the Joneses, maybe because most of us are not Joneses and we are fine with that.

BrachaVHatzlocha

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 8:44 pm

we don't go to the bungalow anymore, unfortunately, but when we did we went to a very cheap colony (they closed due to violations. lol?!). we went so the kids could play outdoors all day and I could relax.
that being said... regarding how people afford it.... if you have lot of kids, daycamps upstate are cheaper than in the city, so what you save on day camp can go towards the bungalow. Some people work from the country or work upstate to cover the cost. And some people...just wing it somehow. LOL. I feel the same way with a question of how people send many kids to sleepaway camps which cost $2500 per kid per month?!?

amother

Lawngreen

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 8:51 pm

BrachaVHatzlocha wrote:

I feel the same way with a question of how people send many kids to sleepaway camps which cost $2500 per kid per month?!?

I applied for sleep away camp for the first time this year. While the fee was $2350 for one month I asked for a discount and got one very easily. I’m paying $1750. It’s a lot but definitely not $2500. I’m only sending one child.

amother

NeonBlue

Sun, Jul 11 2021, 9:29 pm

I'm upstate because my husband is a counselor in a boys camp. I would prefer staying in the city, but for my husband, camp is everything, so I do it for him. But the no cooking is a lovely perk.