 |
|
 |
 |
|
|
Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Purim
Ema of 5
|
 Sun, Mar 05 2023, 8:12 pm
|
Purim is about kids and family, so I follow their lead. Whoever wants to join in dies, and whoever doesn’t want to doesn’t. I don’t write poems. My mishloach manos is either something tied to the theme, or something representing each costume. My kids pick their own packaging and what goes in, and they put together their own for their (5-6) friends.
| |
|
| Back to top |
 0
 2
|
|
amother
Outerspace
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 8:23 pm
| amother NeonYellow wrote: | | I don't understand why you feel so much pressure. Happens to be. I do love Purim but I do not theme my kids. My kids enjoy dressing up as what they are interested in not together. I just make a classy mm for me. I make labels for each kid matching their specific mm but I don't theme foods etc. just do you... |
Wow this is so funny, that's exactly me.
I love Purim, I think themes are adorable and so much fun, but my kids want to be their own things so I don't do one. I enjoy making a beautiful classy adult Shalach Manos and I also do labels for my kids based on their costumes but everyone does the same food. I love Purim so much, though my capacity for creativity and quality is different every year based on what's going on in my life. My favorite Purims are when I'm able to invest time and energy into every tiny detail because I really enjoy it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
|
amother
Ebony
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 8:31 pm
|
People are different, be yourself. I personally think themes are silly and childish, but if people enjoy it then good for them. I'll do my thing, and they'll do there's. I find it weird to be given two useless, cheap things for mm just bc it's a theme. But, that's OK I don't tell them, don't really care and we're all still friends.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
|
amother
Oatmeal
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 8:34 pm
I have toddlers. I like to dress my kids up as something they would be excited to dress up as not just some random costume from my aunts closet/found on sale that they couldnt care less about.
This year my 4 year old came up with the theme and hes so excited he keeps talking about it
Why not make life exciting for the kids?
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
OP
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 9:26 pm
| Thisisnotmyreal wrote: | | Hashem doesn't want hours and hours working on a theme if you don't want to do that. Hashem though appreciates the effort of those who spend hours and hours if they are joyful and are doing it for Him. |
Why do you think Hashem “appreciates the effort” of putting hours and hours into making themed mm, hand-made or expensive costumes, or even as some describe theirs “gorgeous” or “elegant?” Why would this be “impressive” to Hashem? There are so many more things I can think of that would be “more appreciated” by Hashem when preparing for Purim than spending so much time and money on mm, whether or not someone “enjoys” doing it. How many people “enjoy” making mm for others and how many people enjoy the opportunity to impress others with how themed, gorgeous, or elegant theirs are? I’m just thinking out loud here.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
Thisisnotmyreal
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 10:55 pm
Think along the lines of bikurim? It beautifies the Mitzva and can increase in simcha. I can't help but smile at a cute MM or costume.
Of course if anyone is feeling a bit arrogant, they have work to do. Safe to assume though that they're happy to go crazy for this and express their creativity for such a holy and essential Mitzva.
Personally, every year is different. Some years I basically do nothing and some I go all out. It's all based on the current circumstances.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
Bnei Berak 10
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 11:30 pm
Mitzvat Purim is
Seuda
MM
Matanot laevionim
Megilah
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Peachpuff
|
Sun, Mar 05 2023, 11:36 pm
|
We are very Boring!! We do not dress up, We do not do themes, we give very simple MM. (a can of soda this year, with a small chocolate.) My DH has been collecting for a woman who is in deep need of Tzedaka, that will be delivered to her Bo Bayom. BH' happy with what we have and are doing. There is no contest. Do what you need to do.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
|
amother
Plum
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:17 am
Bothered is the wrong word.
But it makes me sad when people are obviously worshiping the theme and not enjoying purim...
I am sad when children that would otherwise love to be princesses or policemen are forced to dress up in matching costumes.
I gag at many of the poems and I roll my eyes when women complain about pressure they put on themselves.
I think its pathetic when families have work so hard for a theme costume that is obviously just for instagram or for everybody to ohhh and ahhhh over.
Some families enjoy it, and at some points in life it is fun and can work. other times its a waste.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
4
|
|
amother
Wheat
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:34 am
I think themes are cute and fun as long as:
A) you have the time/energy for them
B) all the kids are on board
I am pretty young with young kids and this is the 1st year we did NOT do a theme. My daughters both wanted to be princesses and my son wanted to be a dinosaur and I couldn't think of a theme to include both of those, and I didn't want to tell a kid "no, because that won't go with the theme". It's fine. Literally nobody cares that we didn't do a theme, and the kids had more fun than if we did.
I'm not against doing a theme next year if it works out. If it doesn't, 0 problems.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Wheat
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 12:39 am
BTW, last year we DID do a theme, I don't want to say what we were because I don't want to be recognized, let's say a mermaid, a shark, a pirate, Nemo (clownfish), and a sailor, but I will say that most people didn't even realize there was a theme 🙄🙄🙄
IME nobody cares or pays much attention to what your family dresses up as, so you might as well let your kids have the fun of choosing for themselves.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Molasses
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 2:25 am
| amother Amethyst wrote: | | That’s not what a theme means. I only give out adult food that matches my theme. They would probably give you nosh regardless. We have two types kid versions and adult versions. But many people give for the family and the animal crackers are for the kids not the adults |
Not where I live…
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
0
|
|
amother
Pearl
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:00 am
|
Op why do you need a theme? My kids are all different, and every year I give the same shalach Manos. You can think of one specific shalach Manos to make mine is a pastry with a small liquor packed nicely in a box. I have done themes at times but never feel like I need to do anything. Honestly no one cares.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
imasinger
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:50 am
| amother OP wrote: | | Why do you think Hashem “appreciates the effort” of putting hours and hours into making themed mm, hand-made or expensive costumes, or even as some describe theirs “gorgeous” or “elegant?” Why would this be “impressive” to Hashem? There are so many more things I can think of that would be “more appreciated” by Hashem when preparing for Purim than spending so much time and money on mm, whether or not someone “enjoys” doing it. How many people “enjoy” making mm for others and how many people enjoy the opportunity to impress others with how themed, gorgeous, or elegant theirs are? I’m just thinking out loud here. |
Musing like this is important. Here are my musings in return.
I don't know you or your community, but I suspect that relatively few people are focused on their costumes or MM being "gorgeous" or "elegant". And the few who are do so from simple and understandable motives.
It seems to me that most people just want to send something that will be appreciated.
As you can read here, half the board seems to hate the "packaged junk food" and throws it away, the other half, worried about germs or kashrus, automatically tosses anything homemade.
It seems to me that the underlying motives are friendship ("I notice and care about you, I hope you also notice and care about me"), and gratitude ("I hope , even on such a crazy day, you'll understand how much your presence in our lives means to us").
I have read in several places about how any aspect of hiddur mitzvah, taken on l'shem shamayim, is credited on high. It's all a way in. For those who find connection through creativity, that time spent can be deeply meaningful. If it's not that way for you, that's just fine.
It's not ours to be critical of another's way to connect, nor are we obligated to copy them. Hashem gave you your own tafkid. Look towards that, and appreciate the richness of approaches in this beautiful and wonderful world we were given.
My 2 cents.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
10
|
DVOM
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:55 am
Sounds like your feeling very strong social pressure to have a theme, caved, and are now resenting it. Sounds painful and exhausting.
I don't think there's anything wrong with themes. I think some families really enjoy the family project. Like anything else, it can be taken too far when it stops being fun and starts feeling stressful.
My family has personally never done a theme. My kids like to choose their own costume. I enjoy making yummy, homemade shalach manot. It feels like a loving, joyful gesture of friendship to the people I give to.
Close your eyes OP and imagine a Purim that would make you happy and then go do it. Who cares if everyone you know does a theme? What would happen if you didn't? Would your friends and neighbors and family stop valuing your friendship?
You've created this pressure for yourself. You can let it go! Nothing bad will happen!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
5
|
|
amother
Black
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 3:58 am
| Bnei Berak 10 wrote: | Mitzvat Purim is
Seuda
MM
Matanot laevionim
Megilah |
You missed three:
Theme
Matching mm
Poem
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
3
|
happyone
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:10 am
You do you! The world is a tough one. Lightening up in honor of yom tov and bringing joy to the children is something. As long as you don't create your own stress over it, it's win win and memories to cherish.
Some years were themed years (easier to pull off imo) and some each did their own.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
|
amother
Thistle
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:30 am
|
Op I think if you skip the theme and just do whatever you and your kids want you'll be shocked to see how little anybody cares. Literally no one is sitting around waiting to see your theme. If they ask, it's because they're making small talk and "so what're you doing for Purim" is our social equivalent of "enjoying the nice weather". No one actually cares. No one is going home and saying omg, Mrs. Op does NOT have her act together, she doesn't have a theme!!
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
6
|
|
amother
Winterberry
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:37 am
I have no doubt that our great grandchildren will believe a theme is a very holy minhag. Bali Darshanim will even find a way to tie it into the nes of Purim.
Wait and see.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
2
|
|
amother
Whitesmoke
|
Mon, Mar 06 2023, 4:38 am
|
We did a theme for MM this year just for fun, but no tie-in to costumes (kids picked what they wanted) and no cutesy poetry (didn't think it was a good use of my time and headspace). I don't have a problem with themes but if it's causing any stress or tension or forcing anyone to dress up in something they don't want, then it's definitely not worth it.
| |
|
| Back to top |
0
1
|
| Related Topics |
Replies |
Last Post |
|
|
Brand name black crossbody bag for trend clueless ima
|
5 |
Wed, May 08 2024, 6:35 am  |
|
|
How do I stop this hitting trend?
|
0 |
Mon, May 06 2024, 9:41 pm |
|
|
[ Poll ] How much effort did you put in/did you do a MM theme?
|
20 |
Mon, Mar 25 2024, 8:35 pm |
|
|
Tell us about your theme this year! (If you had one)
|
17 |
Mon, Mar 25 2024, 12:54 pm |
|
|
Imamother Theme Shalach Manos
|
72 |
Fri, Mar 22 2024, 11:04 am |
|
|
Imamother may earn commission when you use our links to make a purchase.
© 2024 Imamother.com - All rights reserved
|  |
 |
|
 |
|
|
