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amother
Maroon
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 Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:33 pm
And one more thing - if someone subsists their family on $40 worth of food per week in todays inflationary market (even taking into account growing ones own vegetables)- doesn't make sense to me, even with the explanations. You're kids are probably underweight, and if they arent, are they truly happy eating only beans and home grown vegetables? I am not trying to argue, (and honestly didnt even read all the posts, there were too many) but for kids to attend schools where their friends are bringing a variety of food and snacks, while they come in with their canned beans and sardines and no nosh, is pretty sad, and can be damaging to them in the long run in other ways.
Lets be real, a box of gushers that wouldn't last a day with a family of 6, is $6- thats 15% of the weekly budget. I am just using gushers as an example but most nosh, or appealing healthy food, costs about $40 per meal per family, not per week. What do you do on shabbos? There is no reality here.
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amother
Daphne
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:43 pm
| amother Geranium wrote: | I wonder what made you think I was mad? I'm not even a little bit mad, lol.
I was questioning how this made sense because I've tried it, and I know it's not really functional. Kudos to her kids that they eat beans and rice; my kids wouldn't and at that point in my life they were definitely undernourished.
I appreciate that she came back to clarify how she did it, very informational.
I just want to add one thing. I don't know if anyone on this thread mentioned bitachon, but to me it signifies a lack of bitachon when our goal is to starve our children. I don't remember the exact pasuk, but the gist of it is, why are we limiting Hashem, if he can do a neis and help you survive on $40 a week for food, it's just as easy for him to give you enough money to buy healthy food so your kids can grow. You know, when someone posts that they make 300k a year, believe me it's just as big a neis. |
Nobody starved - where did u get that from?
They are fine, so are we.
We had exactly what we needed and not more.
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amother
Daphne
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:49 pm
| amother Maroon wrote: | And one more thing - if someone subsists their family on $40 worth of food per week in todays inflationary market (even taking into account growing ones own vegetables)- doesn't make sense to me, even with the explanations. You're kids are probably underweight, and if they arent, are they truly happy eating only beans and home grown vegetables? I am not trying to argue, (and honestly didnt even read all the posts, there were too many) but for kids to attend schools where their friends are bringing a variety of food and snacks, while they come in with their canned beans and sardines and no nosh, is pretty sad, and can be damaging to them in the long run in other ways.
Lets be real, a box of gushers that wouldn't last a day with a family of 6, is $6- thats 15% of the weekly budget. I am just using gushers as an example but most nosh, or appealing healthy food, costs about $40 per meal per family, not per week. What do you do on shabbos? There is no reality here. |
So many assumtions. In fact, people are surprised in a good way that my kids eat so well and such huge varietites and their kids dont. My kids dont eat candy or junk on everyday basis and if they choose to one day, they have the knowledge to make good choices of which junks are better than others.
Re $40 that you are all so stuck on,
we had times when thats all we had and thats all we spent. Did it stay that way? No. Do we do it sometimes now that our status doesnt leave us with only $40 to spend on food - yes, sometimes.
When we spend more one week, usually we have leftover for the next.
My kids get lots of variety and we buy things that are most cost efficient. Not deprived or malnourished..
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amother
Eggplant
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:51 pm
| amother Daphne wrote: | Food packages were distibuted weekly + some more community distributions. That was plenty. All we needed were some more fruits and veggies. Pantry items we had from the distrubutions. We didnt make anything fancy. Worked iwth what we had. Food was supplied at my husbands work so no need to worry about breakfast or lunch for him.
BTW do you know how cheap lentils and beans are?
So doable to do proteins on a budget. |
Idk about your digestive system, but I could maybe do a meal of beans or lentils twice a week. Maybe.
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amother
Begonia
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:54 pm
| amother Daphne wrote: | Accusing? Nobody accused, if anything thats whats going on from you to me.
Spending $8 on salmn for 2 days worth of meal is still cheaper than an $8 (or where I live $10) loaf of gefilte for Fri night and Shabbos 
Hard to stretch a $4 can of tuna like that (price where we live), unless you eat pasta, which we actually never do unless its lentili pasta etc. |
Someone who really can't afford it just isn't thinking about salmon, period. Anyway some skewers of salmon will only stretch to 2 meals if you are serving 1-2 people or have others fillers like pasta or such. (Btw, it is interesting you mention $4 for a can of tuna, because the pple agreeing that one can fully feed a family of 5 on $40 per week are quoting prices of $1 per can at Walmart.)
When I say deceptive, I'm not accusing you of anything. Just debating the statement you first wrote about feeding your family on $40 per week without the qualifiers you added later about school lunches or food boxes, and then jumping on people who questioned how that was possible. That was a deceptive way to try to prove your point, even if you didn't mean it that way. But without those qualifiers posters were taking your statement at face value which simply didn't make sense.
And I still don't understand how you paid for housing and food when you were first married with neither spouse working and no money coming in. I'm not talking about a few years ago when you were already homeowners (obviously something happened in between to allow you to have enough for a down payment and mortgage). You are jumping back and forth in your timelines and your financial states at various times, so it's hard to figure out exactly what you are trying to say, or how long of a time period you are describing. If you are talking about food boxes from covid, that's much more recent.
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amother
Sapphire
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:55 pm
| amother Maroon wrote: | After reading the original post, I took the time to scroll through all 7 pages of this thread to see if the OP responded to the many questions that she got, and I see that she did not.
People were earnestly and genuinely curious, since others too, would like to afford to go on vacation, and cant make sense of it with the numbers she provided. 110k with 5 kids in todays day and age does not leave extra money, I think we all can admit that.
I know how to SERIOUSLY budget, and my husband and I together make more than 110, and have less kids than she does, and there is no money to spare once we run through typical monthly expenses that typical frum families incur.
Regardless, the post was completely out of touch since she clearly doesn't know what TRUE poverty means. Who is she to judge others for being down in the dumps about money, or as she describes "victimizing oneself"- if they don't have money for food for their kids, or basics?
If she can afford vacations, she is certainly not worrying about starving kids or shoes with holes in them. So it's rich of her (mind the pun) to judge, when she clearly cant relate to those who are truly struggling. | so by now even I forgot what op wrote and what the subject was about but if you make 110k AND you get food boxes etc.... I am sure it works out.... If your husband is a Rebbe and you are a teacher etc.... Yes it could work out some way.
I have a neighbor who has over 7 kids from the age of ten till after seminary husband is kollel and mother teacher and they live in a house enough food and even get to go to the country for the summer. I have no clue how much they make exactly but I assume less than the number op was referring to. (Nor am I snoopy to ask how they do it but my point here is that it's not farfetched)
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amother
Sapphire
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 4:58 pm
| amother Eggplant wrote: | | Idk about your digestive system, but I could maybe do a meal of beans or lentils twice a week. Maybe. | we personally in our culture have a dish which is sort of a lentil stew or bean stew (using pinto beans)for breakfast and everyone loves it (eggs on the side as well) we don't have every day but my kids love it as well and wish they could... Sometimes we have it 3 times a week
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amother
Daphne
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 5:04 pm
| amother Eggplant wrote: | | Idk about your digestive system, but I could maybe do a meal of beans or lentils twice a week. Maybe. |
They can be hard on the system.
Easier to digest after sprouting.
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amother
Sapphire
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 5:05 pm
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As a side thing I will just point out I remember starting a thread a while ago of so many ways you can save by making things homemade.. I lost the link though
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amother
Daphne
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 5:09 pm
| amother Begonia wrote: | Someone who really can't afford it just isn't thinking about salmon, period. Anyway some skewers of salmon will only stretch to 2 meals if you are serving 1-2 people or have others fillers like pasta or such. (Btw, it is interesting you mention $4 for a can of tuna, because the pple agreeing that one can fully feed a family of 5 on $40 per week are quoting prices of $1 per can at Walmart.)
When I say deceptive, I'm not accusing you of anything. Just debating the statement you first wrote about feeding your family on $40 per week without the qualifiers you added later about school lunches or food boxes, and then jumping on people who questioned how that was possible. That was a deceptive way to try to prove your point, even if you didn't mean it that way. But without those qualifiers posters were taking your statement at face value which simply didn't make sense.
And I still don't understand how you paid for housing and food when you were first married with neither spouse working and no money coming in. I'm not talking about a few years ago when you were already homeowners (obviously something happened in between to allow you to have enough for a down payment and mortgage). You are jumping back and forth in your timelines and your financial states at various times, so it's hard to figure out exactly what you are trying to say, or how long of a time period you are describing. If you are talking about food boxes from covid, that's much more recent. |
First off we keep bishul yisroel and where we live its $4.
I have receipts and you bet - my food bill didnt exceed the amount quoted.
When we first got married we had $1500 coming in - you have a misunderstanding/mixed up a different posters info.
I jumped back to answer to people who had it mixed up.
All in all we are going in circles. Getting nowhere. You dont have to believe.
Im done. Gotta finish prepping Shabbos.
Im not on the site too often - just happen to be on quite a bit today in this conversation.
Not sure ill be back to 'converse' on this thread once its lost from main page.
Wishing you well.
Have a good Shabbos.
**Nobody has anything to lose by posting their budgets anon. Not sure why its assumed id just make up numbers. $40/wk was doable when we did it and worked. Whether believed or not.
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amother
Geranium
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 5:14 pm
Just my two cents- I'd rather work and bring in money for food than plant food. Planting enough food to really eat takes a lot of time and energy! I've actually tried it so I know. And the animals ate it all up anyway  .
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amother
Geranium
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 5:18 pm
| amother Begonia wrote: | Someone who really can't afford it just isn't thinking about salmon, period. Anyway some skewers of salmon will only stretch to 2 meals if you are serving 1-2 people or have others fillers like pasta or such. (Btw, it is interesting you mention $4 for a can of tuna, because the pple agreeing that one can fully feed a family of 5 on $40 per week are quoting prices of $1 per can at Walmart.)
When I say deceptive, I'm not accusing you of anything. Just debating the statement you first wrote about feeding your family on $40 per week without the qualifiers you added later about school lunches or food boxes, and then jumping on people who questioned how that was possible. That was a deceptive way to try to prove your point, even if you didn't mean it that way. But without those qualifiers posters were taking your statement at face value which simply didn't make sense.
And I still don't understand how you paid for housing and food when you were first married with neither spouse working and no money coming in. I'm not talking about a few years ago when you were already homeowners (obviously something happened in between to allow you to have enough for a down payment and mortgage). You are jumping back and forth in your timelines and your financial states at various times, so it's hard to figure out exactly what you are trying to say, or how long of a time period you are describing. If you are talking about food boxes from covid, that's much more recent. |
A lot of people don't eat the $1 tuna because there are a lot of issues with it kashrus wise. So it's not an option for many.
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amother
Crocus
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 5:24 pm
| amother Eggplant wrote: | | Idk about your digestive system, but I could maybe do a meal of beans or lentils twice a week. Maybe. |
Lol
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amother
Daphne
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Fri, Jul 14 2023, 6:03 pm
| amother Geranium wrote: | | Just my two cents- I'd rather work and bring in money for food than plant food. Planting enough food to really eat takes a lot of time and energy! I've actually tried it so I know. And the animals ate it all up anyway . |
Happend to come back on for a min.
I wish you that your children will always be accepted into school when you apply and that there be no waitlists and they shouldnt have special needs that require you to wait while figuring out how to make it work best with the schoo which means, stay home until iits figured out.
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amother
OP
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Sat, Jul 15 2023, 10:44 pm
| greenteaorange wrote: | | Why did op disappear in this thread? I’m still waiting for her breakdown of her finances? |
Op here coming back just to say: a) this wasn’t about me so no don’t think I need to give a breakdown b) after reading most of the thread (honestly don’t have time for 8 pages worth) I think a lot of people need to ask for scholarships . If you make under 125 your tuition bill shouldn’t be 50k… any school anywhere will give you a scholarship … getting a break isn’t considered getting help- do you consider rebbes kids that go with a massive break getting help? Full tuition is there for who can afford it. And anyone in chinuch is a separate story imo- there are many perks that come with the job so they can technically make a lot less and be fine.
C) frum lifestyle normalizes standard upper class privileges which shouldn’t be the norm unless you’re majorly saving monthly like : cleaning help, spa type treatments (manis, waxings, etc), new clothings seasonally, camp(unless both parents work and even then maybe wife’s job doesn’t even cover all the camp bills so may not make sense to go to work), etc but for some reason people say how do you go on vacation when that is NORMAL for even low middle class in the rest of the world, and doesn’t have to cost a lot at all.
Everyone has their own priorities.
My point wasn’t to judge how people spend their money. Or give a breakdown. It was simply about the victim mentality that people have. If you let’s say make 100k and see people making clearly double always complaining it’s just super annoying.
Like someone earlier said when her family judges her for one little thing but they do a ton she can’t afford it just is very annoying.
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amother
Sapphire
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Sat, Jul 15 2023, 11:59 pm
| amother Daphne wrote: | First off we keep bishul yisroel and where we live its $4.
I have receipts and you bet - my food bill didnt exceed the amount quoted.
When we first got married we had $1500 coming in - you have a misunderstanding/mixed up a different posters info.
I jumped back to answer to people who had it mixed up.
All in all we are going in circles. Getting nowhere. You dont have to believe.
Im done. Gotta finish prepping Shabbos.
Im not on the site too often - just happen to be on quite a bit today in this conversation.
Not sure ill be back to 'converse' on this thread once its lost from main page.
Wishing you well.
Have a good Shabbos.
**Nobody has anything to lose by posting their budgets anon. Not sure why its assumed id just make up numbers. $40/wk was doable when we did it and worked. Whether believed or not. | will miss you amothe daphne. I actually had some questions about budgeting I wanted to ask but I guess either you will see this post or you wont (or on a different thread)
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amother
Catmint
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Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:14 am
| amother White wrote: | I did not read the entire thread, but here’s what I know from only my own experience.
4 kids, Jackson NJ, bh bought before Covid so we have a decent mortgage:
Hub makes 130k
I have my own business and pull in anywhere between 20k-50k depending on the year
We are tiiiiight!!! Extremely!
And we are about 50k in debt which we are bh paying off slowly |
Amother white would you feel comfortable to share more about your lifestyle? the breakdown of your spending?
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amother
Hydrangea
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Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:37 am
| amother Daphne wrote: | First off we keep bishul yisroel and where we live its $4.
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Just want to point out that bishul yisroel is halacha for everyone. It's not a stringency people choose to take on or not keep. There are differences of opinion about what needs to be bishul yisroel, but people who are buying the $1 walmart tuna are also keeping bishul yisroel.
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amother
Daphne
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Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:40 am
| amother Hydrangea wrote: | | Just want to point out that bishul yisroel is halacha for everyone. It's not a stringency people choose to take on or not keep. There are differences of opinion about what needs to be bishul yisroel, but people who are buying the $1 walmart tuna are also keeping bishul yisroel. |
https://www.walmart.com/ip/Gre.....aw.ds
This one? I dont see that it says Bishul Yisroel on it.
and yes, I came to check in
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BaltoMom65
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Sun, Jul 16 2023, 12:43 am
| amother Maroon wrote: | After reading the original post, I took the time to scroll through all 7 pages of this thread to see if the OP responded to the many questions that she got, and I see that she did not.
People were earnestly and genuinely curious, since others too, would like to afford to go on vacation, and cant make sense of it with the numbers she provided. 110k with 5 kids in todays day and age does not leave extra money, I think we all can admit that.
I know how to SERIOUSLY budget, and my husband and I together make more than 110, and have less kids than she does, and there is no money to spare once we run through typical monthly expenses that typical frum families incur.
Regardless, the post was completely out of touch since she clearly doesn't know what TRUE poverty means. Who is she to judge others for being down in the dumps about money, or as she describes "victimizing oneself"- if they don't have money for food for their kids, or basics?
If she can afford vacations, she is certainly not worrying about starving kids or shoes with holes in them. So it's rich of her (mind the pun) to judge, when she clearly cant relate to those who are truly struggling. | Preach!
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