Would you take clothes?

NotInNJMommy

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 5:00 pm

I would look at everything and only keep what a I really like and what already fits properly, and send after thing back, onto another person, etc. depending what is appropriate.

When I've offerred, which isn't often bc I wear things until they're stained or ripped, etc. I have always done so bc why should I just throw out good clothes? I would donate it to a thrift store up here, but I'd make it available for my kehilla/acquaintences first. I never offer clothes that are stained/ripped, and I never accept them either.

bashinda

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 10:33 pm

I think the answer might depend on where you're from. In Jewish communities in Brooklyn I've never seen thrift shops for instance and I've gotten the strong feeling that there's somewhat of a stigma on used clothing, which is too bad because if you had a thrift shop for gently used clothing it would help a lot of people.

I grew up in California and going to the thrift shops was something that was common there. Also with having triplets I've been happy to take people's clothing. I have absolutely no problems at all.

allgood

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 10:43 pm

Who the person is would definatelly be a big factor by me. Is this a person who will constantelly remind you about the clothing she gave you. Do you have the same social circle where e/o will know it was hers before and they will compare how you looked and how she looked. Yes it's a great money saver and time saver but sometimes it doesn't pay.

Motek

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 11:15 pm

To get a little more philosophical about this (with no offense meant to anyone, I think this is usually inborn, part of our nature and/or mazal) -

I think there is also the issue of being a "taker" and a "giver."

Some people are happy to accept things that are free.

Some people are uncomfortable being on the receiving end (though they might do it anyway, out of necessity).

I'm not talking about the normal receiving from loved ones here. I'm talking about those who jump at the chance of getting a free something-or-other, whose philosophy is, "if it's free and available, sure, why not?" versus though who want to pay their own way, not be the recipient of someone else's largesse.

Mimisinger

Thu, Jul 17 2008, 11:48 pm

I don't think that's a fair response. I def. pay my own way, but I would take a shirt or dress if in good condition. I would also give my clothes to someone who needs it. For me, it's like sharing clothes with the sister I never had. On the other hand, I don't think I've ever done this. One friend forced me to take something and I never wore it because it was just in not good condition.

ChossidMom

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 1:09 am

Motek wrote:

Baloney.
I'm a very giving person. Yet, if someone wants to give me nice clothing - why in the world not? I get tons of hand me downs for my daughter and it saves me alot of money. It has nothing in the world to do with being a giver or a taker.

Mimisinger

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 1:12 am

Oh but I have taken clothes from my sil for ds. They're great! His cousin is a couple of sizes ahead of his, why shouldn't they be used (as she's closed for business)? Better they should be thrown out? Given to someone through goodwill. Doesn't tzedaka start at home?

yitta25

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 1:18 am

I would definitely go through them and pick out the stuff I like if it is from someone I know well and they dress the same or better than I do.
BTW, I have a huge bag of clothing, mostly size 8-12 ladies and some childrens and men stuff. Anyone know where I can drop off in Brooklyn??

red sea

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 7:16 am

Motek wrote:

sounds like a flaw in the logic to me. if anything thing the example of free used clothing is more of a being attune to the mitzvah of baal tashschis as opposed to those who wouldnt take according to their own opinion good clothing out of a sense of false pride.

Akeres Habayis

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 9:46 am

ChossidMom wrote:

Motek wrote:

its practical,since moving here to eretz hakodesh(I seem to throw that in alot Wink

)I realized how I could have saved so much money.u learn practicality here that isn't necessarily the norm in certain places(as someone used brooklyn and california for an example)

I didnt have to buy dd one thing...yet...well except her shoes.everything we received was in great condition,a friend of mine who lived in eretz hakodesh but now lives in the states has a fantastic gemach and saves a lot of the clothes for dd,so when someone is passing thru florida they pick it up for me.

justanothermother

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 9:52 am

red sea wrote:

Motek wrote:

bashinda

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 12:33 pm

Definitely. Yes, okay I've saved money by taking clothing but at the same time I'm helping people who have been storing their clothing. I also give away clothing.

There's also a concept where there are times and situations where you are on the giving end and times when you are on the receiving end.

mumoo

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 12:51 pm

well said, bashinda. When I give tours to people at the gmach (gmall) I volunteer at, I always stress that chesed requires two parts, the giver and the receiver (I dont say "taker") and anyone can "play" either part at any time.

Also, I say that we usually dont hesitate to receive things from our sisters, parents, so we should look at the chesed yidden give each other as from our family, which it is.

Of course this only answers the op original question regarding discomfort about taking. Of course one can be particular that they only wear clothes that are stain-free, not torn, in fashion, fit well, tznius, in-style and in OUR style. We dont have to take just because it is offered.

Ruchel

Fri, Jul 18 2008, 1:56 pm

According to Motek's theory I'm a taker (I would also take nice but old clothes, retro can be in), but still I am the type to give to every beggar until my wallet is empty (literally) and I have so many clothes I want to give out now that no Jewish organization seems interested in the lot.

Pizza

Sun, Jul 20 2008, 10:54 am

Even tho we are in a rough place financially, I admit it would depend on who it was and how it was said (and the quality of clothes being discussed).

If its someone who dresses really well, or whose taste/size is appropriate to me and my teen girls, I am more likely to overlook the above.

In practice, I usually say yes, and confirm that whatever we dont take we should pass on... I find that people are much more laid back about hand me downs here in Israel than in the States.