Laying with your kids when they go to sleep

amother

Peach

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:12 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Anyone just puts their baby into their crib with a kiss and a bottle and the baby goes to sleep? Works for me so far.

When they are in cribs it’s less of an issue… my kids did that fine but in beds they just come out a million times unless I’m there.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:14 am

For all those saying they don't ever how do you handle difficult older kids?
My kids are also sleep trained and do great up until they go in a big bed.
Since then we have had a lot of trouble keeping my ADHD 5 yo in bed. He has a lot of trouble calming down. I usually end up sitting beside his bed (so not usually in his bed) until he falls alseep.
Any tips??

amother

Diamond

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:14 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Anyone just puts their baby into their crib with a kiss and a bottle and the baby goes to sleep? Works for me so far.

Yup I did!
Wait until they grown up LOL

amother

Diamond

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:15 am

I do it.
It's a choice.
I want my kids to go to fall asleep reassured and secure that mommy's there.

Some nights I can't do it, but most nights I do.

amother

Diamond

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:17 am

amother Ecru wrote:

He has ADHD

He has trouble calming down.

What is wrong with being there to help him unwind and feel your secure reassuring presence?

amother

Honey

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:18 am

amother Ecru wrote:

Lower his sugar intake. And have him do physical activities before bed.

amother

Ecru

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:18 am

amother Diamond wrote:

He has ADHD

He has trouble calming down.

What is wrong with being there to help him unwind and feel your secure reassuring presence?

Nothing wrong with it! Thats why I do it!
But it ends up taking over an hour sometimes. By the time I'm done with bedtime I don't have energy for anything else!

amother

Honey

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 8:20 am

amother Peach wrote:

When they are in cribs it’s less of an issue… my kids did that fine but in beds they just come out a million times unless I’m there.

My kids know they can’t leave their beds. If they have an emergency they can call for me. They can go to the bathroom and straight back to bed and they all have water bottles and tissues near them. Been doing this with all my kids I have toddlers through teens and no issues.

amother

Diamond

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 9:01 am

amother Ecru wrote:

Nothing wrong with it! Thats why I do it!
But it ends up taking over an hour sometimes. By the time I'm done with bedtime I don't have energy for anything else!

Oh an hour is a Long time!

I try to get them to do jumping and movement, and then cuddles and shma.
Hes still in a toddler bed so I don't Lay in it.

I sing lullabies, or fall asleep, but I find he falls asleep a LOT faster when im next to him

BrisketBoss

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 10:11 am

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Anyone just puts their baby into their crib with a kiss and a bottle and the baby goes to sleep? Works for me so far.

I don't use bottles but yes, at the beginning I just put the baby in their crib, and later I add a bedtime ritual. When they need to come out of the crib at a young age, that's when the trouble starts for me. I've had to stay with the kid a few times in order to keep him in the room. Just an in-the-moment strategy; I prefer to put him down all ready to sleep, but certainly he's very cuddly.

baked ziti

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 10:38 am

I never had to beyond the bedtime stories but then came my 4th. He needs the reassurance at night and I sit in the room till he falls asleep. Can take up to an hour but it's a deep need he has. It's not easy but I'm pretty sure I won't have to do it forever.

amother

Crocus

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 10:39 am

amother Blushpink wrote:

I have seven kids BH. I went from never ever staying with kids to realizing that each kid is different and has different needs, this time passes quickly, and very soon they’ll be teenagers and away at Yeshiva. It’s okay and beautiful for me to be there for my toddlers at night.

Yes! Love this. It’s so temperament dependent! Some kids would hate it and some kids need it. It shouldn’t be a blanket decision.

imaima

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 10:47 am

amother OP wrote:

Wow I’m surprised with the results. I thought the overwhelming majority would say they don’t lay down with their kids. Seems like a decent amount of people do.

I do if they need it. Never say never 😅

amother

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 11:03 am

amother Honey wrote:

Never have never will. I put them in their bassinet from day 1. They transition to cribs nicely and they know we have a night routine and then I leave and they go to sleep.

This was me until about 6 month ago. I never stayed with my older ones. My 3 year old wouldn’t stay in his bed if I don’t lay with him 🤷🏼‍♀️
I would love to figure out a routine that would work for him but I guess for now this is what we are doing. Some nights it takes 5 min but sometimes takes half hr or more to fall asleep.

Busybee5

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 1:52 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

Anyone just puts their baby into their crib with a kiss and a bottle and the baby goes to sleep? Works for me so far.

Not this kid! 😂 That worked for my others.
He's not even on bottles anymore. He drinks water or juice from a sippy cup.

ittsamother

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 3:45 pm

So far it's been working to do our nighttime routine and close the door and leave. Once in a blue moon our oldest gets upset and wants to come out but we're pretty firm that it's bedtime now and she needs to be in bed and we'll play more in the morning. She's still pretty little. If she starts that shtick of just coming out of bed a million times, I'll follow the routine of making it as boring as possible and simply scooping her up and popping her back into bed, as many times as it takes, as many nights as it takes. That's the plan for now, let's see what happens!

I don't have a lot of me-time so I'm really not willing to devote a chunk of every evening to just laying next to my kids until they eventually fall asleep- when I've done that with younger siblings or niblings in the past, I found they just wanted to talk and chat and eventually get silly and giggly, or else I fell asleep and they escaped. So I don't want to even start that route in our house.

amother

Broom

Sun, Sep 03 2023, 4:47 pm

amother Honey wrote:

You tell your toddler they may not come out & just like that they don't? Wow