S/o . Sharing beds at a school shabbaton

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 6:25 pm

amother Tuberose wrote:

Gotcha. Throughout all regions that I know of, NCSY shabbatons that are at hotels dis the 4 girls to a room with two large beds. In my region, all small shabbatons were at houses. Fall shabbaton was also houses. Midwinter was in a hotel, and Regional was at a camp when we could get one and a hotel when we couldn't. Girls who didn't feel like sharing asked for extra linens and slept on the floor. Some brought sleeping bags to start with, because everyone knew the setup.

We were probably in the same region. Always put up in people's homes.
Midwinter was also at homes. Just spring regional was in a camp.
Never were beds shated. It just wasnt a thing.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 6:35 pm

I was in high school 10 years ago, there were multiple occasions that we were put in hotel/motel rooms with 2 beds and more than 2 girls.
I never slept though, I can't sleep when there's anyone near me.
Not even my kids. They go to my husbands bed Smile

I found a lot of the time there were so many girls pulling all nighters by these events that it was a non-issue...

amother

Mint

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 6:47 pm

I find it interesting that two girls sleeping in the same bed at camp gets them kicked out but on a school shabbaton it's totally fine.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 6:57 pm

amother Mint wrote:

I find it interesting that two girls sleeping in the same bed at camp gets them kicked out but on a school shabbaton it's totally fine.

I think the idea is that in camp, since they all have their own beds and have no need to share, if there are 2 girls in a bed they assume something inappropriate is going on...

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 6:58 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

I think the idea is that in camp, since they all have their own beds and have no need to share, if there are 2 girls in a bed they assume something inappropriate is going on...

The point is, that should be the norm all of the time, one person per bed, camp or shabbaton.

amother

Royalblue

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 7:01 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

The point is, that should be the norm all of the time, one person per bed, camp or shabbaton.

oh, I agree 100%, was just pointing out why the reaction may be more extreme in the case where they do have their own beds.
also, I'm wondering if the 2 beds on shabbaton is still the norm? or if it was just standard 10+ years ago...

shabbatiscoming

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 7:03 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

But im saying it wasnt rhe norm all over. I was a teen way more than 10 plus years ago and sharing beds was not a thing

amother

Lemonlime

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 7:34 pm

amother Royalblue wrote:

I think the idea is that in camp, since they all have their own beds and have no need to share, if there are 2 girls in a bed they assume something inappropriate is going on...

I don't think that's it at all... Camp beds are much smaller than even twin beds. That's really close contact and that's a little weird. We're talking large hotel beds made for 2 people to share. Plenty of space to just sleep and not be touching or doing anything weird. Totally different thing. I wouldn't expect girls to share even a twin bed. But a queen? That's normal to me.

amother

Razzmatazz

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 8:11 pm

shabbatiscoming wrote:

We were probably in the same region. Always put up in people's homes.
Midwinter was also at homes. Just spring regional was in a camp.
Never were beds shated. It just wasnt a thing.

The winter regional Shabbaton was always at a hotel, and beds were shared for the girls back in the early 2000s at least, at school shabbatons at hotels too.

amother

Mauve

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 10:52 pm

Is BYM Bais YaakovMiami Didn't know anyone who went there is on imamother
Who Remember Rabbi L. Mrs.G. Mrs B. science teacher. ....

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Nov 02 2023, 11:23 pm

amother Mauve wrote:

Is BYM Bais YaakovMiami Didn't know anyone who went there is on imamother
Who Remember Rabbi L. Mrs.G. Mrs B. science teacher. ....

I assumed it meant BY of Monsey.

shabbatiscoming

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 1:38 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

The winter regional Shabbaton was always at a hotel, and beds were shared for the girls back in the early 2000s at least, at school shabbatons at hotels too.

I finished high school before the 2000s. Maybe things changed. I never stayed in a hotel for any ncsy shabbatons.

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 2:11 am

I was as innocent as ever - didn’t know a thing until kallah classes.
I shared beds with friends plenty at sleepovers. It was part of the fun!
In fact the one left alone with her own bed was always the pitied/disappointed one.

amother

Impatiens

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 2:12 am

amother Mauve wrote:

Is BYM Bais YaakovMiami Didn't know anyone who went there is on imamother
Who Remember Rabbi L. Mrs.G. Mrs B. science teacher. ....

Hi yes me!

amother

Vermilion

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 2:16 am

I was almost sent home once on school shabbos when teacher discovered me in a different room than I was assigned, in my friends bed.
I was as clueless as ever, was just miserable with my room and so took my friend up on the invite.
I thought the yelling was all about insulting the roommates I left behind. Only once I was married did the whole thing click 😂

amother

Leaf

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 5:44 am

I remember hearing that it's not strictly against halacha for 2 girls to share a bed but it is very much frowned upon as it's igniting the yetzer hara, please check for yourself there may be a halachic component

and in seminary my friend would try to lie down hugging me and get insulted when I wouldn't want to. I was sheltered and didn't understand what was happening but it felt wrong and I didn't like it

I really can't believe a school would make 2 girls share a bed, it's absolutely wrong on every level

amother

Cappuccino

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 5:48 am

Ill join team "sharing beds". In the 90s in high school (oot) and a sem on this side of the ocean.... on trips/shabbatons where we were on hotels, the hotels had 2 queens per room and there were 4 girls assigned per room, 5 if that room got a cot. You just shared. Im sure ot wasnt most people's most comfortable thing, but whatever. The beds were big, youre not near the other person. So whatever. Alwayse some girls who refused.

However, my girls in Lakewood hs, when theyve had trips its one girl per bed. Times have changed.

(When I rent an airbnb or hotel for my family its 3 littke kids and 2 big kids per big bed)

amother

Cappuccino

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 5:52 am

amother

Mimosa

Fri, Nov 03 2023, 2:56 pm

Our school had a strict "No body contact" rule, so no, sharing beds was not an option. If you were found sitting on another girl's lap or lying in bed with someone else, it was grounds for expulsion.

If you went to my school, please quote me and wave.