Ds 5 wants to wear nail polish

amother

Bone

Thu, Nov 09 2023, 8:25 am

amother OP wrote:

My 5 year old ds loves pretty things and he really wants to wear colored nail polish. Every time I get a manicure he begs me to polish his nails, too. How would you handle this? He's my oldest child and I'm really unsure what to do.

The more you deny it or make a big deal about how it isn’t for boys, the more he will want. I have let my DS get polish at a fun day before. I don’t see what the big deal is.

amother

Powderblue

Thu, Nov 09 2023, 9:44 am

I allowed my son to play around with it. He polished his nails, but we would remove it before we went out. He also liked sparkly glittery shoes and such which he tried on , but we never bought. I would tell him it’s for girls and mothers. It was a short phase, he eventually grew out of it and does not want to wear anything even remotely girly anymore.

behappy2

Thu, Nov 09 2023, 10:02 am

What if you use washable markers? That's fun and it should come off easily.

I would really hesitate to drive home the point that it's girly. That is what will make him confused. If it's girly and I want it, am I girly?

I want to add that my daughter wanted to wear a yarmulka and tzitzis till past age 4 because she wanted to be like her older brother. She kept thinking she will become a boy eventually. I never made a deal of it. We let her and eventually it petered out. Eventually she only wanted to do more girly things. I don't make a big deal in my house if what is "boyish" or "girly" because I want my kids to embrace all the parts of them. Every male has feminine energy within him and every female has masculine energy within her and as parents we need to model and embrace that.

At some point kids become very focused on being part of their gender group and it can happen slowly. You need to just make space for it to happen naturally.

When you make a big deal of it is when you actually create gender issues. And that's just my non scientific opinion.

Last edited by behappy2 on Thu, Nov 09 2023, 11:44 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Navyblue

Thu, Nov 09 2023, 11:16 am

amother Honey wrote:

The idea that nail polish is inherently female is part of that "in the day and age" stuff. A man who wears nail polish is no less of a man.

I'm assuming this idea runs well in the LGBTQ community.

smolka613

Thu, Nov 09 2023, 11:27 am

amother Honey wrote:

The idea that nail polish is inherently female is part of that "in the day and age" stuff. A man who wears nail polish is no less of a man.

It might not be inherently female but nevertheless in our society it is beged isha and therefore assur for a man to wear.