How do you name your children?

amother

Phlox

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 3:41 am

amother OP wrote:

I’m trying to understand why people name their children the way they do. There are people who name name for name of a family member, people who take one name and add one they like, and people who do not name after at all. Those who name after or use one name do it for a multitude of reasons some being kibbud av vam for their parents or they have a relationship with their grandparent. How did you name your children and why? If you name after for mesora reasons, why? If you name for respecting your parents whether you did or did not have a relationship with that grandparents, then why?

DH insists that if you name after someone, you give the name as is, no changes. (Not going to argue this on imamother.)

All five of our kids are named after people, exact names, but two are named after family members, two after tzaddikim (if you make a promise, or think you made a promise, you keep it), and one after someone we both loved very much but who isn't a family member.

amother

Crystal

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 5:22 pm

One was named for a grandparent with a yiddish name with no Hebrew equivalent, so we picked a name of someone from Tanach who had qualities similar to this grandparent.

One was named for how we felt surrounding the birth of the child.

One was named in honor of a grandparent with a yiddish name, no one knew what it meant. So we picked a name which which was a good middah/attribute that the grandparent had.

One was named the same name after 3 relatives from both sides who all had the same name as part or all of their name.

One was named after a grandparent who had poor health and so to change it (to avoid bad mazal or whatever the reason is) we used a name with the same gematrya. (As an aside, I know a couple who named their kid the combined gematrya of their names, at the suggestion of their rabbi I believe).

amother

Iris

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 6:13 pm

I've only done names I like, never after family. One name was partly bc I liked the name anyway but what sealed the deal was it was also the name of a Tzaddik I related to

amother

Chartreuse

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 7:25 pm

DC#1 after a great rebetzen
#2 a grandfather used both names
#3 fil added a name bc he wasn't a well man
#4 grandmother
#5 2 grandmothers
#6 grandfather
#7 aunt who had a lot of yissurim so added a name
#8 after a non frum grandfather so added a name
#9 great grandmother

amother

Hyssop

Sun, Nov 12 2023, 9:18 pm

amother Electricblue wrote:

I didn't vote because the answer is actually two out of three.
Most of my children are named after someone and I use the full name and if I didn't like part of it I would leave part of it out of the birth certificate name or wouldn’t call them that but if I name after somebody I named after them properly.

I do have some children that I need after a name that was particularly meaningful to me, they were given when we used all grandparent names & any further up we liked.

Same here

amother

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 5:16 am

What happens if you don’t like the name or the relative and/or did not feel a particular bond with them? How do you name after?

Also, why name after someone? Do you do it out of respective for your parents (or the sandwich generation)? Is it fair to name your child after someone and the reason being to make someone else happy?

Is my child missing on something if I don’t name after someone? Is there the lack of mesora piece that he/she would be spiritually missing out on?

amother

Firethorn

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 5:23 am

amother OP wrote:

If you do not want to, DO NOT

Yes, naming the child after someone is also special for the child in addition to being a Zechus for the Neshama of the deceased.
This is why there's a great Inyan to name after someone special/with a Hugh Neshama, as this gives the child special Kochos.

amother

Crystal

Mon, Nov 13 2023, 8:36 am

amother OP wrote:

Use it as a middle name and give a first name you like. We didn't do it for our parents, jut because one of us felt a connection to the person even though the other didn't.

Or just don't use it at all.

amother

Opal

Sun, Nov 19 2023, 3:29 am

Cant answer as we did different things. Family we would name after isn't all frum, some died young... so We tended to mix and match.
We named after two different people for two of my kids. One was the exact name of a relative.
We don't believe in "first goes to this side" or whose grandparent takes priority. We did "if boy X and if girl Y" type decisions. We said who we wanted to name after and came up with combinations that made sense for the situation.